can't transfer text messages from cell to PC

I have an LG UX300 phone through US Cellular, and I need to transfer text messages from the piece of junk to my PC. I bought a USB cable, then found out all it does is charge the phone with my PC. So I bought a Bluetooth dongle, and the only files I can transfer are pics and phone book. I've also tried BitPim (not compatible), DataPilot (not compatible) and a number of other programs. If anybody knows how to get the SMS files off this thing, please let me know. 7 hrs. of searching and experimenting=no joy. Bet if I chuck it out the window on the freeway I'll get something out of it. Satisfaction if nothing else....:-D