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Must Laugh

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Gensuknives, May 4, 2006.

  1. Gensuknives

    Gensuknives Grand pooty-meister

    Being an old retired gynecologist............... I HAD to post this for all you ladies.



    I can almost feel myself losing weight....by forwarding this to you!
    You'll understand at the end.

    I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great
    time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great
    menopause will be... Puhleeeeeeeze! I've had a few thoughts of my own and
    would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushin g 40, 50, 60 (or
    maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.

    Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us
    plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

    In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We
    are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

    Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see
    your rear without turning around.

    Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the
    only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

    Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and
    scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."

    Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting
    on our biggest ones.

    Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, beeper-wearing teenager and
    think: "For this I have stretch marks?"

    In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain
    is water.

    Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally
    -- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

    Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the
    "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy choice ice
    cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

    But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.
    We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved
    ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge
    that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies
    simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's
    my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

    Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds.

    Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew), and you will lose 10

    If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately. (That's
    why I had to pass this on - I didn't want to risk deleting this.)


    Got this in an email from a close friend. Had to share.

  2. Matacumbie

    Matacumbie Rocky Top

    LOL. That's good. :D

    I have someone in mind I can send that to that will love it. :)

  3. laurieB

    laurieB MajorGeek

    mid life is when the men in hardware stores no longer fall over themselves to rush to your help.
  4. Gensuknives

    Gensuknives Grand pooty-meister

    Good one also.:D
  5. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    ...Somehow - I am glad of that!! :p :D

    By Gensuknives definitions, I think I too, am getting "wiser". :eek: ;)
  6. AbbySue

    AbbySue MajorGeeks Administrator

    EEK! lol Have seen this one before but I didn't forward it on...does that mean I'm doomed?[​IMG]

    Can't say I've ever had an experience like laurieb mentioned...guess I'm fortunate in that I still get men falling all over themselves to assist me to the point it's awkward.

    A revelation I did have was while at a festival...:eek: there were 2 young guys behind me in the crowd as we were moving along and at times they were side by side with me. It was obvious they were talking about me (not crude but very complimentary) and trying to stick close to me..I was aware of them but trying to ignore them..this went on for 10 minutes or so and then I turned to stop at a booth at which point they realized I wasn't a 22 year old. The sheer horror of the fact that they were trying to cozy up to a *cough* older woman was written all over their faces..they couldn't hide it even though they tried. I'll never forget the look in their eyes. [​IMG] LOL

    So, I not only got a wake up call about my more mature appearance[​IMG] but it was rather embarrassing too.:eek:

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