Win Updates vanish, can't download any

The most bizarre situation ever for me: All of my scores and scores of Windows Updates are gone. Checked System and Security, view installed updates: No updates installed in this computer! Checked Windows Updates in All programs: nothing. My last Belarc Advisor profile listed countless KB updates, but the latest printout shows absolutely none. For several weeks, the exact same updates notifications in the system tray say two critical should be installed. I've installed them about 20 times: Security Update for Windows 7 (KB977165), Security Update for Windows 7 (KB2393802). I've customized the system tray to "show icons and notifications" but only the same two are there!
I've tried to download all required updates directly from the Microsoft security site but am told to go through Windows Updates, all programs. The only ones that show up are the above two. Bottom line: There are no Windows Updates on my machine, and I can't install any. Your ideas will be greatly appreciated. ec

 

Mmm, have you just been updated to Service Pack 1?

If so, then I assume SP1 would have removed the old updates as they were made redundant by the new SP, which should contain a roll-up of all the previous critical updates anyway.