I Wonder

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bob D., Jul 29, 2012.

  1. Bob D.

    Bob D. Majorgeeks official old fart

    Why do we wash BATH TOWELS - aren't we clean when we use them?

    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

    If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

    :confused
     
  2. BILLMCC66

    BILLMCC66 Bionic Belgian

    This has the makings of a really silly thread.

    If nothing sticks to teflon, then how do they make teflon stick to the pan?

    If a black box flight recorder is never damaged in a plane crash, why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

    If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
     
  3. lbmest

    lbmest MajorGeek

    No, you should use a howitzer, preferably a 105mm.;)
     
  4. hrlow2

    hrlow2 MajorGeek

    Why do you drive on a parkway and then park in a driveway?
     
  5. DavidGP

    DavidGP MajorGeeks Forum Administrator - Grand Pooh-Bah Staff Member

    Try clapping with one hand!
     
  6. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    Uncle Rastus said to his nephew Rufus "I done bought me a 'tree' and I been waterin' it and manuring it fer over a year and it aint grown an inch! I'm a takin' it back!"
    Rufus asked his Unca Rastus "What kinda Tree did the fella say it was?"
    Unca Rastus said, "It was a 'Lava-tree!' I just can't understand it!"..:crap


    ....<* groan!!*>rolleyes
     
  7. sibeer

    sibeer MajorGeek

    Have you ever seen a toilet bowl? A kitchen sink? What about a computer run?
     
  8. solaris89

    solaris89 First Sergeant

    When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    If a cannibal ate a clown, would it taste funny?

    Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

    If crime doesn't pay does that mean that my job is a crime? :-D
     
  9. BILLMCC66

    BILLMCC66 Bionic Belgian

    Why is the "Lone Ranger" called "Lone" if he's always with Tonto?

    Did Noah have woodpeckers in the ark, and if so, where did he put them?

    Why do we press the "start button" to turn off the computer?

    When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
     
  10. Nedlamar

    Nedlamar MajorGeek

    If a pathological liar tells you he is a pathological liar, is he telling the truth?

    If white bread is made from white dough and brown bread is made from brown dough, what kind of dough is Dill bread made from?

    Why are wood screws made of metal?
     
  11. Speculant

    Speculant The Confused One

    A friend of mine has double jointed hands, and he can do that. It's freaky.

    Some of life's great mysteries:

    If what you see is what you get, why can't you judge a book by its cover?
    If communism has leaders, is it still communism?
    If it's called Final Fantasy, why are there so many of them?
    If the opposite of pro is con, is the opposite of progress congress?
    What if there were no hypothetical questions?
    Why do the Flintstones have Christmas?

    A computer related one:

    If Mac users care more about the environment, then why does OSX have a trash can while Windows 7 has a recycling bin?
     
  12. Rikky

    Rikky Wile E. Coyote - One of a kind

  13. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    LoL! I had the exact-same fungus growing in a carpet in my back room where a lodger was staying for a while last winter. There was a leak in the roof that he didn't tell me about, so I did the right thing and gave him a bucket to stick under the leak LOL.
    Fine theory, but he was also too lazy to empty the bucket and by the the time I checked the room out for cleaning this fungus was sprouting up :yum. So I eventually fixed the leak, got rid of "Roger, the rent dodger", and picked the fungus and bleached the carpet. So far - so good. ~ And NO - I didn't smoke the fungus!...roflmao
     
  14. Kestrel13!

    Kestrel13! Super Malware Fighter - Major Dilemma Staff Member

    think of all that dead skin that the towels fetch off :-D
     
  15. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    There IS a solution!..;)

    [​IMG]
     
  16. Rikky

    Rikky Wile E. Coyote - One of a kind

    You could have at least give him a signpost warning of the leak what kind of landlord are you?:-D

    And a little "warning fungus!" sign.

    Why fix anything when a sign will keep us safe and more importantly, litigation free!
     
  17. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    Well, Roger "the dodger", didn't pay me Jack Chit, (hence the appropriate name). He was one of life's little parasites I had the huge displeasure of trying to help. Never again!:hammer The mushrooms only grew on the carpet because he was so lazy and filthy, and I found out that the leak was because he decided to drill holes in my roof for some kinda lame T.V. antennae monstrosity. The guy was a madman, trust me.
    ~ So yeah, I'm not going to cry a river over him rolleyes. His crap is still in my garage after nearly a year, when he skipped the country and got ran out of town.<*shakes head!*>.
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2012
  18. hrlow2

    hrlow2 MajorGeek

    Has anybody ever seen a boardwalk? :confused
    (I didn't even know they had legs.) rolleyes:-D
     
  19. sibeer

    sibeer MajorGeek


    Leave it to a couple of highly logical geeks to start disecting these "Deep Thoughts":-D
     
  20. spinchien

    spinchien Guest

    Why do people have feet that smell and nose that run?
     
  21. Kestrel13!

    Kestrel13! Super Malware Fighter - Major Dilemma Staff Member

    :-D Precisely. *Takes a bow*
     
  22. collinsl

    collinsl MajorGeek

    Once I return from a hot chocolate break I will present a reasoned argument to everything presented in this thread.

    I will then post funny comments for each point as well.

    Then, coming up at six, your normal programming will be resumed with 90210 east 51st street blues neighbours farm.
     
  23. collinsl

    collinsl MajorGeek

    An old term for a road was a parkway, as they were designed as places that you could drive just for the sake of driving. Then came the "Expressway" and the freeway system was born. In 1933(ish) Rudolf Hess visited America to study the freeway system in cities. He then returned to Germany with a suitcase full of notes and started work on the autobahns.
    Yes, yes and no as electrons are invisible to the naked eye.

    Possibly. Speak to an attorney-at-law.
    Because the wool isn't hot.

    Because they screw wood together.

     
  24. hrlow2

    hrlow2 MajorGeek

    :kissmy to Collins.
    :wave
     
  25. Rikky

    Rikky Wile E. Coyote - One of a kind

    As a silly question get a well thought out reasoned answer,ask well thought out reasoned question get stupid turd.

    It's how I roll:-D
     
  26. Nedlamar

    Nedlamar MajorGeek

    What about when it rains somewhere hot where the sun has been beating down for hours at 45C and then there's a downpour?

    Why is it? huhhuhhuh? tell me why?........... I don't like muundayyys :-D
     
  27. MadMal

    MadMal Corporal

    It's been discussed, it's been analysed, but we still don't have an answer to that age old question Mitch Brenner asked Melanie Daniels

    "Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?"

    :-D
     
  28. Nedlamar

    Nedlamar MajorGeek

    Maybe she smells like bird food... that would be most unfortunate.
     
  29. Rikky

    Rikky Wile E. Coyote - One of a kind

    Obviously the the person in question is an alien/human hybrid that secretes a psychotropic pheromone which causes hallucinations in humans in close proximity duh!!!!!

    EDIT If you were in the UK it could be a gay guy talking about how girls flock round his hot male friend hehe...
     
  30. Nedlamar

    Nedlamar MajorGeek

    Maybe she's a relation of this young lady.

    [​IMG]
    Why do birds appear?.... because they just do... ok.

    :-D
     
  31. Rikky

    Rikky Wile E. Coyote - One of a kind

    Some people like baths and showers,some people like a luffa and pigeon shit.:-D
     
  32. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    Because they are evil...pure evil!!!..


    [​IMG]
     
  33. hrlow2

    hrlow2 MajorGeek

    Making me think of Alfred Hitchcock.
     
  34. cabbiinc

    cabbiinc Staff Sergeant

    If a bather is someone who baths and a worker is someone who works, what's a Twitter?
     
  35. Rikky

    Rikky Wile E. Coyote - One of a kind

    A website:cool

    But someone who tweets is a tweeter.

    Keep em comin:-D I'm sure we'll have this thread cleared up pretty soon...:wave
     
  36. hrlow2

    hrlow2 MajorGeek

    Wouldn't bet on it.
     
  37. Nedlamar

    Nedlamar MajorGeek

    So this thread is going to end up "The Thread with the Answer to Absolutely Everything!"

    Cool, I wonder how long that will take?
     
  38. sibeer

    sibeer MajorGeek

    If vacuum cleaners really worked, wouldn't all the dirt be gone by now?
     
  39. MadMal

    MadMal Corporal

    Before I got to play on the internet, some friends and I liked to sit around, play VCRs with the sound down and music playing. (I still do it sometimes)
    The Birds plus The Carpenters was one of our favorites but we still can't agree on which is scarier (I vote The Carpenters)
     
  40. collinsl

    collinsl MajorGeek

    The rain cools down the wool, so it expands. This counteracts the contraction during the hot period when the rain is just starting out.

    A social media platform designed to allow short updates about important social issues such as "Why is there corn in my poop if I never eat it?" and "The tweeting toilet just flushed."

    Because new dirt is created at an alarmingly high rate.

    NEXT!
     
  41. tonyhale

    tonyhale Lounge Lizard No.2

    Why is there only one monopoly’s commission :confused
     
  42. cabbiinc

    cabbiinc Staff Sergeant

    Why is the official international airline pilot's language English and not Arabic?
    Why is it when you hear someone talking about a carrot top the person's hair isn't green?
     
  43. Rikky

    Rikky Wile E. Coyote - One of a kind

  44. cabbiinc

    cabbiinc Staff Sergeant

  45. sibeer

    sibeer MajorGeek

    That's a bit of a stretch. Did you make that up? :p
     
  46. collinsl

    collinsl MajorGeek

    Because having more than one government department is wasteful.

    Becuase the UN speaks English as a primary language.

    Because people forget that the first carrots were white. And besides, it's carrot top, not carrot top top or carrot leaves top.
     
  47. MadMal

    MadMal Corporal

    Since there have been over 250 million Monopoly games sold world wide I don't think one commission is enough.
    No wonder people get away with cheating :mad
     
  48. dyamond

    dyamond Imelda Marcos of Majorgeeks

    I never cheat. :innocent


    if we not supposed to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?
     
  49. Kestrel13!

    Kestrel13! Super Malware Fighter - Major Dilemma Staff Member

    Mmm... midnight snacks......... :yum
     
  50. Rikky

    Rikky Wile E. Coyote - One of a kind

    Fridges don't have lights in,are you sure it's the fridge?

    I know in the US fridges can easily be confused with the garage:confused Is there a car in there?
    [​IMG]
    :-D
     

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