Haunted Computer!? Weird computer issue...

Backstory
So my girlfriend brought her laptop around to me with this issue, she attempted to show me the issue but it refused to present itself. Convinced the issue would show itself again if nothing was done I decided if it's a software issue, then formatting the computer and reinstalling Windows would solve it permanently. So I did. I was satisfied the job was done. The laptop was left running for a few hours, nobody touched it during this time.

When we came back to it, some... weird issue presented itself; it's not really describable what the issue is, it manifests itself in multiple symptoms affecting even a single input, here is a list of action and consequence:

Click start menu - Start menu flashes up for a second then closes itself down

IF the start menu does stay open, it will close within the following few seconds unexpected​

Click desktop icon - The properties window for that icon appears

Any internet link/address - Starts downloading as a file

ALTERNATIVELY it displays a message on the screen, looks like an INI file, I unfortunately can't seem to replicate this but it states something about Internet Explorer (the browser was Google Chrome, so I don't know what this is about)​

Can't boot into safe mode - I personally didn't observe this (didn't try) but this was one of the symptoms prior to reinstalling windows.

Keyboard doesn't work - Neither the in-built OR USB keyboard gives the computer input, or the input is just completely ignored. On the inbuilt keyboard it makes the "ping" noise for invalid input on every key

It's weird because it doesn't SEEM to be a hardware issue, but it doesn't seem possible in any way for it to be a software issue, it's a god-damn clean install of Windows following a format of the hard drive. There is no way a virus could recover from a format of the hard drive. Only thing I could think of is worn out components giving false input to the system - but the lack of consistency and some of the issue that it manifests as don't make sense.

If I don't get a response soon I might start pouring holy water over the laptop - I think it's cursed!!

The laptop is a Toshiba Satellite pro a200. It's quite old, 3 years or more.

 

Sounds like a stuck key or multiple stuck keys/faulty keys,it would explain all your symptoms.

Take the keyboard out/disconnect it,disable the touchpad then try to use a usb keyboard and mouse.