Words Women Use

Okay, since I just got here, I was a little nervous about starting a thread for the first time....but LostGirl9 helped talk me through it! Here's to all the Women of the World and the Men who don't understand them....

Words Women Use

Fine
-This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
-If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
-This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you
should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in
"fine".

Go Ahead
-This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
-Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood
by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay
-This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a
man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
-This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary If a
woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back
out of the room slowly.

Send this to the Men you know and want to help, or to the Women you
know for a laugh!

 

Good one........................
and oh, sooooooooooooooooo true.........................lol

Gal

 

Uh, you're welcome.











(I know, nobody said "thank you", but that's the only response that doesn't seem to have dire consequences.)

 

WAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA.....man you really nailed that one right on the head! And I have news for you: if you aren't married with an attitude like that, you could be!

 

Well, I used to be. I generally take Milk of Amnesia whenever the subject comes up.

 

Uh, you forgot,,,

YES, DEAR!

 

No, I didn't forget it. It's not a universally safe answer. Either answering with less enthusiasm than was expected, or using it repeatedly without the proper follow-up action, Dire Consequences can still insue.

 

Well I don't know, maybe it's my amazing powers as
"SUPER HUSBAND!"

"Yes, Dear" has never failed me

But, I have swore to only use my powers for good

 

No, that can't be it

 

Oh, I beg to differ,,,

Speaking of which, that is another secret power of,,

"SUPER HUSBAND!"

Begging

 

Just received this in an email from my wife... thought it was funny and appropriate for this thread.

Rules men live by:

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

2. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

3. Crying is blackmail.

4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say
it!

5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.


6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

9. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

12. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

15. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

16. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

17. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the
hassle.

18. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.

20. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.

21. You have enough clothes.

22. You have too many shoes.

 

That one is hilarious!!

 

Me.. I just wake up in the morning, roll over and say to the wife.. "Honey, I'm sorry for being a man" and that covers me for the whole day

 

That sounds like something MartyP would say to Snowflake

 

Okay, I can say the following only because I am a woman: Women have WAY too many girlish notions of romance. Prince Charming in Cinderella was "Prince Charming" because he was cute, rich and kept his mouth shut. The statement is true that most men are born a handicapped maturity, and lack of "that is a stupid thing to say so don't say it" filter. Women have two choices: die as an old maid or learn to love them in spite of. And while I am married to the world's most romantic husband, I have few notions of girlish romance and have no problem asking for flowers if I need them. I also don't celebrate valentines day because if a guy is buying you flowers because he has to it's not as sweet as if he bought you flowers on a Tuesday just because he was thinking of you.

Okay. I'm done with my rant, now. Oh yeah. Diamonds cost money and scratch you when you wash your face. You could be spending the money on pottery!

 

......maybe.....

 

I just like having flowers. They're great, whether A) I bought them for myself or B) some guys bought them for me becuase I)He wanted to or II)He felt he had to. Any excuse to get flowers or presents is reason enough.

 

okay...flowers are nice....really nice....but isn't it just as nice to have a friend buy them for you? Or maybe get them for yourself? Whaddya think, ladies?

 

Isn't that what I just said? Flowers are great no matter where they come from

 

Yeah, BABY!

 

I have hay fever. As soon as someone gives me flowers, I give them away. whatever the ocassion.

 

man..that's a bummer. So what do you like to get instead? dinner? gift certificate? chocolate?

 

Any of the above. Or a new computer game, or...

My most cherished gift ever was a Winchester Model 94 rifle, Centennial edition, that 2 friends gave me as a housewarming gift in 1994.

 

Wow!! That is not a cheap gift! You must have awesome friends!

 

Yeah, they're special.

 

Hey now, just because Cindy and Eric ride the short bus does not mean they are "special"

 

My mama always told me I was special...I went to a special school...had special teachers.....

 

Eric & Cindy weren't the friends that bought the rifle. I didn't even know them back then.


But since you have a problem with Eric & Cindy being "special", how about "pearls beyond price"?

Careful how you comment on THAT one.... pearls before swine comes to mind.

 

I agree. Eric and Cindy are pearls beyond price; their actions prove it. They are both fun, encouraging and funny. They have both lovingly chllenged me and helped me keep my sense of humor. Eric is like the big brother I never had and Cindy is the twin that I grew up without. I am truly blessed.

And as far as that fabulous gun goes....do you collect them or was it just a random housewarming gift?

 

I'm not a collector. I have a few that I shoot (including that one). And those are shooting buddies that I shoot with. It's not all THAT fabulous. The Winchester 94 (old cowboy style lever action) hit 100 years in production in 1994, so that year's run were "centennial" editions. Wasn't all that expensive as rifles go; was under $200.00. But the centennial stamp makes it a bit more of a collector's item down the road. But I was deeply touched that they'd do THAT much for me, out of the blue.

 

Yeah, I bet! I mean, I'd give a card or a fruit basket for about $40 at the most. That's really sweet of them. So......what's G.T. stand for? Will you tell me? Or will this be one of those mysteries that will never be solved? I just can't stand the suspense!

 

These are the ones my wife used often.

 

LOL. Wrong thread. I already answered that here:
http://forums.majorgeeks.com/showpost.php?p=522041&postcount=48

If you ask Eric or Cindy nicely, they'll tell you what it stands for.

 

Man! We're just getting flattered all over the place!

 

*mocking* I know what GT stands for nanna-nanna koo-koo!

 

Well, it's just a good thing that I'm here. We can't have too much loving on Eric and Cindy. That is just not okay.

 

Is there any Grinch in your family tree?

 

Only me

 

HA! Losty may talk the big grumpy talk but she is really as sweet as pie. That's it-your secrets out. I know that no one will be believe that you are by your big talk, but it's true!

 

Did someone say PIE??????

 

I figured as much. The kind of girl that would drop water baloons on you on Sunday morning, but would sit up with you when you're sick.

Of help watch your kids while you're off with a sick parent.

 

I can testify that it's true. She's all bark and no bite.

And I can beat her up

 

yep, you got her to a T.

Bethy, the secret's out.

 

The only reason you "win" when we fight, is because you cheat

Ok, okay, so I'm a good person. So I'm sweet, caring, kind, loving, helpful and humble. I'm also beautiful and sarcastic

 

Don't feel too bad. Nobody's perfect.

 

All that, and modesty too!