Totally FEDUP!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by EXOX3, Nov 1, 2009.

  1. EXOX3

    EXOX3 Staff Sergeant

    Hey Guys,

    I am having a damn stinker of a day, I went into A & E yesterday because I have been getting these corker headache's on my left side of my head only, and it feels like someone has my left eye in their hands, and clenching it, then releasing it, anyway I have a CT setup for tomorrow afternoon, they didn't deem it essential that I get one right there and then. Sent me on my way, asking me to come back when I actually have one so they can put some oxygen on me and see if that gets rid of it, if so, then apparently they are cluster headaches. I am waking up 4 to 6x a night with them at their peak, nothing seems to help them, nor aggravate them (aka, light, TV, etc)

    Not only this but since yesterday I have been stressing out as I am getting aches and tight-ness on my right lower back, and having the past year I have had, I am very frightened and worried. I went to bed last night stressed, then suddenly I had a palpatation, then just about an half hour ago, I had another one, very scary!

    I have stopped taking my medication since yesterday because of the pains on my right lower back, I don't want to encourage anything.

    my mind is endlessly racing about my health, I am that worked up it isn't funny! I feel like I am bouncing off the walls, I am trying tactics to calm myself down but they don't seem to be working!

    Yesterday at the hospital the Dr. said to go home, relax in a stress free environment! I couldn't help but laugh! With a fiancee & 2 kids at each other, the missus going off her tree at the kids, the youngest in particular, me being too scared to complain about it and ask the fiancee to settle down because when I do, I become the target, and get the guilt trip!.. You guys know what I mean...

    "You F'n deal with it then!", and/or "I`ll leave, I'm fed up with this bull's".... etc

    Ahhh. what to do, what to do! I want to curl up into a ball and cry at the moment, I just want to be better and things to go the right way for a change, instead of having everything thrown at me at once all the time, I feel like when I am down, trying to recover, my very own family is their kicking me in the guts, making it even harder for me to recover.

    No wonder I am suffering from severe anxiety, depression & panic attacks!

    I am at the point of smacking my head into a brick wall, it seems to be what's happening anyway, no matter how hard I try and explain to my fiancee, Docs, etc what I am going through, no one can really grasp how hard it is, and what it is like! if they did, I wouldn't have to put up with the 'Outside' stress, and be calm enough to deal with the 'Inside' stress!!

    :cry

    David
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2009
  2. bigtrucks

    bigtrucks MajorGeek

    Wow man you have some serious issues. and it sounds to me if you don't get away from all that stress on your own your body is going to do it for you and it may not want to come back to the way it is now. Can you afford a motel/hotel for one night? I don't mean you going. I'm talking about sending her and the children for one night at least just to see if it's them per say, with all there bickering going on.If not do you have blood relatives that would let you stay for one night? That palpitation is a way related to stress being put on your heart. I was told by my Dr. when I told him I was under a lot of stress and that I felt funny,not knowing that it was palpitation. He told me to go off some where even if it was a motel for a day or two and not tell anyone where I was but to call from time to time to let them know I was fine. I sure do hope things work out for the good tomorrow. I'll get with the Prayer warriors:strong:strong:strong tonight for you. TRY not to think about it so much.;)
     
  3. EXOX3

    EXOX3 Staff Sergeant

    I am going to give it another hour, if it keeps up I am going to have to get an ambulance into hospital, I have spent most of the year their, seems to be the only hospital in the world that have their patients coming back regularly! :(

    If you don't hear from me over the next couple of hours it means I have gone in to get checked out..... I`ll try and get a recharge for my mobile and check in via my mobile and let you know how its going if it is possible...

    Damn vodafone...
     
  4. silas

    silas MajorGeek

    I know how your feeling with many of those problems even close ones to me deal with it daily.. and yearly for so many years(still on tons of meds a day) just to get by. But it seems like your getting to the breaking point and you need to be in your own world in quite and peace. And relax and stop thinking about it daily(even tho its hard) your girl obvously aint thinking and know what to do.. but when someone breaks and you guys split then she will know.. so really take some time to your self fast David!
     

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