A Non-Romantic's Valentine Poem

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by sibeer, Feb 14, 2008.

  1. sibeer

    sibeer MajorGeek

    I wrote this poem for my wife some time ago, long before I became Sibeer. It was lost on a hard drive for years. Deanna recently found the paper copy I gave her. There's a real good possibility that I wrote it because I wasn't buying a gift.
    I'm not a very romantic guy, and don't support Valentine's Day a great deal, so pretending to be romantic seemed like a good idea at the time. It didn't work out quite the way I planned...

    A Valentine's Poem
    By Simon

    Late on into winter,
    not quite up to Spring,
    there arrives a day of love and joy.
    A day of reckoning.

    A day, which men around the world,
    welcome with open arms.
    They all rush off to buy the gift,
    that shows their natural charms.

    They leave the store with prewrapped prize,
    and head home to their lover.
    Place the gift within her reach,
    Then quickly head for cover.

    “Why?” You ask, “They run away?
    Is their love not strong?”
    It’s very clear to us wedded men,
    The gift is always wrong!

    Twas just this year, (well yesterday,)
    with them I shared this fate,
    to buy the gift to gain approval.
    We’d left it far too late.

    Down the aisle with the cards,
    the offering meager and dull
    “To Grandma Dear” or “ Favourite Aunt,”
    were the best that I could cull.

    Front page flowers and inside verse,
    that makes me want to chuck.
    Who writes this stuff? Who makes it up?
    Their lives must really suck.

    And then it dawned as the light of day,
    I didn’t need their verse,
    I’ve got my own romantic rhyme,
    (Well, I couldn’t do much worse!)

    I took pen and paper and set about,
    composing passionate prose,
    I wrote and wrote… and wrote and wrote,
    and this is how it goes;

    My dearest darling Deanna. My bubbling bundle of lust and love, you are the king size waterbed in the bedroom that is my life. I gladly lay the petals of love at your feet as you glide lightly through the room that is you.
    Without you I would be as a dove without a wing, a planet without a moon, a ship without a sail, a hat without a head, an apple without a pie, a shoe without a lace, a kitchen without a sink, (somebody stop me) a dog without a bone, a horse with no name.
    I’d be as the deserts of Africa. Barren, lifeless, and dry. But I'm not dry, I'm wet. And you're wet. We're both wet, dripping with the sweaty desires that propel us onward. Onward to a climax of flesh and thought, searching deeper and deeper for the bond that was forged by the mighty Cupid's hand, that will keep us together....forever.

    Hey, hey, hey, that’s real good stuff.
    I think I’ve got the knack,
    When she reads this, there is no doubt,
    I’ll get her in the sack.

    We’ll rock n’ roll, and twist and shout,
    The passion will run deep.
    But don’t forget that when we’re done,
    I just want to get some sleep.

    We’ve been together through richer and poorer,
    And the pleasure has been mine.
    Now I look forward to better or worse,
    Cause you’re my Valentine.
     
  2. dr.moriarty

    dr.moriarty Malware Super Sleuth Staff Member

    ... and you say you're not a romantic!!!

    dr.m PS: I'd bet that earned you a couple of points! ;)
     
  3. LauraR

    LauraR MajorGeeks Super-Duper Administrator Staff Member

    lol

    Awesome! Seriously....that's better than any gift or flowers.

    and funny!LOL
     
  4. mikkh

    mikkh Private First Class

    Very good, reminds me of a little ditty I wrote a few years ago

    I like your walk, I love your wiggle
    I like your smile and love your giggle
    I like your face, it's not too shoddy
    But most of all I love your body :drool
     
  5. Speculant

    Speculant The Confused One

    lol :D
     
  6. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle



    :heart<...Sigh...!>:heart

    Well, you certainly would not have been able to come up for air had I received that poem ("warts and all";):D)...but then I'm a hopeless romantic...so shoot me, those of you who don't agreeLOL
     
  7. musksnipe

    musksnipe Guest

    Great poem, sibeer. That took a bit of talent.

    Women never forget, lose mementos, or cease to surprise us men. ;)
     
  8. darlene1029

    darlene1029 A Grand Lady- R.I.P. 06/06/2012

    AW, thats beautiful :)
     
  9. sibeer

    sibeer MajorGeek

    Thanks guys, but I need you to stop with the romantic references. You're ruining my reputation;).
    That's a problem I have. The only other things I have written is when I've been really down. I think that stuff reads really well, but I'd never let anyone else read it:eek:
     
  10. Natakel

    Natakel Guest

    Nice, sibeer.

    I learned in high school that, yes, girls like jocks . . . but they LOVE poetry . . . ;)

    In my adult, married life a well crafted poem has hauled my rear out of the dog house more than once! :)
     

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