*sigh* Women

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Wookie, Sep 20, 2004.

  1. Wookie

    Wookie Sergeant Major

    Nothing like telling my life to a messageboard :) Ive known most of you a long time tho and talked to a few on the phone. Here it goes

    First thing this isnt a rant against women, some might be under impression from the title :)


    OK so Ive been with this Girl for almost 5 years. We have been through a lot together. We were engaged at one point. Well things started to fall off, we didnt really talk anymore she was always having fun with her friends never seemed to have fun with me anymore etc.. VERY long story short I decided this wasn't the person I wanted to marry and be with the rest of my life. To add some kick to the story we both have the same mortgage in our name :)

    So I start talking to this girl Ive known forever but lives far away, exactly 1038 miles, we used to live a mile or two from each other. Im in Michigan she's in Florida. We start talking online sending pic's etc then start talking about our interests and goals and find we are very alike and very much enjoy talking to each other. Well it quickly turned into we both want to see each other again and we talk on the phone at least 3 hours a day. So as of right now I have a planned date of driving 16 hours on December 24th to see her for a week. Every moment we knew each other back when we were younger we had a crush on each other....started kind of online dating once I moved away (back when I was 14, I will be 21 in 2 months) well we kinda just stopped talking for whatever reasons. Now we found each others email (took me a good hour of googling) and are communicating again.

    I feel good when I talk to her, I laugh and smile (something i havnt done much) and we both listen to each other intently no matter what we know on the subject (of course it's computers with me)

    Well I don't really know where I am going with this story but I figured I needed to get it out cause right now I don't want to let any of my friends in Michigan to know, although me and the girl ive been with for 5 years are officially broken up I know how she is and am afraid of what might happen if she finds out.

    So if anyone wants to comment tell me im an idiot or just say "I read your story and feel ive wasted 60 seconds of my life"

    Go right on ahead.


    Love Wookie

    :)
     
  2. goldfish

    goldfish Lt. Sushi.DC

    Hahaha... yes, my GF has to put up with me ranting about computers more than she should do. I try not to go there but technology is quite a large chunk of my life, so its pretty hard!

    Anyway, good luck with everything :)
     
  3. glennk721

    glennk721 MajorGeek

    Think you have to follow your heart,,no one knows your feelings better then you,I know the feeling of love lost nothing quite feels like it in the world,,,don't be scared of what she will do if she finds out !!! she is happly going onward with her life,,,if its ment to be it will be if not, life will lead the way for you, around every corner is another corner, we just need to drive really well LOL:p ...PS when you come to Florida, you better be knocking on my door a extra plate on the dinner table will be waiting for you !! Glenn !!!:) :) :)
     
  4. jarcher

    jarcher I can't handle a title

    life is a risk

    anytime you gain something, you lose something
    the only suggestion
    do what feels right
     
  5. Wookie

    Wookie Sergeant Major

    thanks for your kind words :)


    What city you in Glenn?
     
  6. glennk721

    glennk721 MajorGeek

    Ft Lauderdale area,,,
     
  7. Wookie

    Wookie Sergeant Major

    bleh no where near her :/

    I used to Live in Jacksonville, is where she is now. Your prob 2 hours from there.

    Been 8 years since i been to Florida. Will be a break to get away from Michigan in December lol, me and her keep jokin cause she's shiverin cold when its 65 and it was 45 here this morning and I was outside in shorts and t shirt.
     
  8. aLLiKZar

    aLLiKZar It's not too late to back out!

    What ever is going to happen is a choice that you are
    going to have to make. Today my fiance and I celebrate
    our 7 years together. There was a point in our lives, or mine,
    where I needed more. We decided to part ways, she did her
    thing and I did mine. Now that I think about it, it was a choice
    that I had made to end the relationship. Fortunatly I put my
    brain back in my head and decided I needed her more than
    anything.

    The best advice I can give you is just make sure to think
    everything through before making a decision\choice.
     
  9. Wookie

    Wookie Sergeant Major

    yeah im thinking it through 24/7. I guess the girl ive been with for 5 years was more of a forced relationship. Alot of things happen and we depended on each other to have a place to live etc with combined income, both of us not really having parents.
    As of late it's like we are two compltetly different people, and one huge thing that really has been a rack on my brain is her irresponsibility with money, she spends it likes its going outta style and pays all the bills late, I say I wanna take over bills she'd throw a fit about me not trusting her etc.


    Lotta things been going bad for a long time. The proposol was my worst idea, I did it to try and save the relationship. She was really happy about it for a few months then just went back to her old self.

    Another thing is she's got no motivation for life. Usually dreading everything and thinsk the worst of everything no matter how different I tell her.

    But it's like everything is different with the girl from Florida, she has made her mistakes but has learned greatly and is working hard and going to school etc to make her life right, see's positive in things isnt always depressed, and we just have so many things in common that we talk about and laugh about etc.



    bleh there i go again :)
     
  10. Robster12

    Robster12 The Horse Whisperer

    How in the WORLD can you fellas find the time to chase women around?

    As soon as you think you know enough about these computers, something else crops up. The mountain never ends. Never!
     
  11. laurieB

    laurieB MajorGeek

    go for it. whats the worst that can happen? i wish you luck but it doesnt sound as if you need it. aloha
     
  12. Wookie

    Wookie Sergeant Major


    Every second im not working or at school :) like right now just finished my calc test (praying) am gonna check my mail then call her at 9 cause free nights and weekends on our cells.



    Never a boring minute in my day I promise that :)

    Go home sleep, work 9- 5 tomorrow school 7 - 9

    homework 5-7


    never bored....always something to be done
     
  13. Shiver Me Timbers

    Shiver Me Timbers MajorGeek

    Wookie I am an expert on failed relationships. Sounds like you may need to find out if the lady in Florida is you life mate. Go see her. The ex in Michigan may or may not give you a hard time. You can allow a guess to get in your way. Work out the legal details with the mortgage and start living. That is only my opinion. You have to make the decisions for yourself. ;)
     
  14. bigbazza

    bigbazza R.I.P. 14/12/2011 - Good Onya Geek

    I thought everyone in Florida had moved, thanks to Hurricane Ivan and the preceding ones. TV shows us the damage and the evacuatees clogging up the highways. Hope she, and all others are as safe as can be. Go with your heart. I made a wrong decision 10 years ago and still regret it. Bit difficult to correct that decision as the lady in question is in West Africa but one day ..... Bazza
     
  15. Maxwell

    Maxwell Folgers

    Go for it. Wish I had a girlfriend in Florida but I have a sneaky feeling that my wife would object :)

    Your main problem is going to be the separation of legal assets where you are and agreeing this amicably.
     
  16. COBRA90GT

    COBRA90GT Private First Class


    I'm not sure I understand, could you clarify that somewhat?

    You and your ex are still living together (both of you have a house or something - both names appear on the mortgage/lease)?

    If so, just make sure your finances are in order before the ex finds out about the chick down in FL...or you might have some major issues when you get back to MI! LOL

    My .02
     
  17. G.T.

    G.T. R.I.P February 4, 2007. You will be missed.

    I assume shared mortgage implies shared house, shared expenses, shared bed still probably. You're not married, but you're the next thing to it.

    If you're sure the current girl is NOT the one you want to share your life with, your first responsibility, both to her and to yourself, is to untangle that relationship. Hopefully that shared mortgage has a contract between you two as to how the assets and responsibilities are shared. Buy her out, or visa versa, or sell it, get physically separated, THEN persue girl number two if you think she's right for you.

    Is Michigan a "common law marriage" state? If it is, you're facing a formal divorce proceeding just as if you had a ring on your finger. Even if not, it might get sticky sorting and splitting things up.

    While evaluating girl number 2, try to keep both your heart and your head engaged. Evaluate carefully, and logically, as well as emotionally, and if both halves of you agree that she's the one, then jump in with both feet.

    But get your current life settled FIRST, or you're likely going to have one unholy mess on your hands with "the other woman" fueling the fires for the likely upcoming battles with girl number 1.

    If girl number 2 IS the right one, she'll wait for you to get things sorted out (but don't procrastinate; get it done!). If NOT, you're better off finding out now.
     
  18. laurieB

    laurieB MajorGeek

    good advice GT. aloha
     
  19. Wookie

    Wookie Sergeant Major

    yes lots of fights for past two days, going off about 8 hours sleep in 3 days with 13 hours of school and work each day.


    BLAST!

    Its through. Im going to look for an apartment this weekend and hopefully get the money sorted out. She brought back some guy last night, I went into quite a rage. I gotta get outta there fast.

    We are late on bills but its OK for her to get a $100 haircut and buy $80 in clothes. errrr

    The girl from Florida has been helping me tremendously. It can be quite depressing not seeing anyone for days because u work 8-5 and school 5-9 and when u get home u fight. VERY depressing. Would be alot harder with out girl 2 from Florida to talk to.

    We've been taking it slow. Altough we pretty much talk to each other at least an hour a day we told ourselves were not gonna make any big decisions until I go down there and we see each other again. Then we'll find out if it's meant to be.

    So far its lookin good we have huge amounts in common and get along great. Same goals etc.

    Will see, will see.
     
  20. Freddy

    Freddy Sergeant

    I second this. If this lady wants to she can take you both down into financial hell. Property can be as much a liability as it is an asset and should she walk away or worse (there can be alot worse) you will still be responsible.
     
  21. Wookie

    Wookie Sergeant Major

    I dont know what to do about the house yet. I gotta figure out some way to get my name off it. She wanted her name first on the mortgate and im hoping that works out for the best for me and makes it easier to get off.



    And so the world turns
     
  22. G.T.

    G.T. R.I.P February 4, 2007. You will be missed.

    Have you been making matching payments? Who paid how much for the downpayment? How long have you been paying? You should be able to recoup half of whatever equity has built up.

    As far as the mortgage goes, you'll likely have to re-finance the house under HER name. Mortgage company has a binding contract; they're not likely to just let one party out of the existing contract. Doesn't matter who's name is first, you're both equal partners and equally liable.
     
  23. G.T.

    G.T. R.I.P February 4, 2007. You will be missed.

    In a standard mortgage, both of you are legally liable for the FULL amount of the mortgage. How the two of you pay it doesn't matter to the mortgage company. If she were to cancel the house insurance, burn down the house with her still in it, YOU would be responsible for the full remaining amount.

    Get some real advice my friend, this can get really sticky.
     
  24. Freddy

    Freddy Sergeant

    Consult your real estate lawyer or your bank. Getting her name off the mortgage is one part, but if she's been making some of the payments, she own part of the house. If you keep the house, not only will you have to pay her share of the mortgage, but you'll have to compensate her for payments she's already made.

    What ever you do, regardless of whether you sell or keep the property, I recommend some sort of signed binding agreement releasing her of all interests and obligation in this property.
     
  25. Wookie

    Wookie Sergeant Major

    Moving to My uncles it looks like. Tough times ahead.
     
  26. COBRA90GT

    COBRA90GT Private First Class


    Is killing her an option? j/k Stay strong dude, you'll get out of that mess eventually, slowly but surely.
     

MajorGeeks.Com Menu

Downloads All In One Tweaks \ Android \ Anti-Malware \ Anti-Virus \ Appearance \ Backup \ Browsers \ CD\DVD\Blu-Ray \ Covert Ops \ Drive Utilities \ Drivers \ Graphics \ Internet Tools \ Multimedia \ Networking \ Office Tools \ PC Games \ System Tools \ Mac/Apple/Ipad Downloads

Other News: Top Downloads \ News (Tech) \ Off Base (Other Websites News) \ Way Off Base (Offbeat Stories and Pics)

Social: Facebook \ YouTube \ Twitter \ Tumblr \ Pintrest \ RSS Feeds