A users guide to becoming a troll

1) Announce Your First-ness: The best way to claim your territory is simply to post "FIRST!"
2) Hit and Run: Stop on some site, make a comment, and leave.
3) Anonymity Is Your Hammer: Standing behind what you say with your own name, as if you believe in your convictions, is for the stupid and the brave.
4) Reject Anonymity for Everyone Else: you shouldn't put up with anyone else not using their real name.
5) Always Pimp Yourself: Leave links to your site (or better yet sites).
6) Start a New Topic: You don't have to stay on topic; other readers will thoroughly enjoy your hijacking of the conversation.
7) Keep It Negative: making an ad hominem attack against the topic of the story, no matter how irrelevant, can make the casual reader balk.
8) Make Sweeping Generalizations: settle for doling out general, sweeping "facts."
9) Throw in Some Graphics: Grab some art off Google, slap on a caption that you find hilarious (and thus everyone else will, too), and embed it in your comment.
10) Brevity Is the Soul of Not Really Getting Your Point Across, So Write a Long Diatribe: If you can take a circuitous route to the gist of the matter, all the better to draw in the noobs, because, really, what are they going to do.
11) USE ALL CAPS:
12) Never Respond: This is doubly true if you're the author.
13) Don't Be Ignored: If you don't see your pithy prose within seconds of hitting the enter button, inundate the site with questions.
14) Flame On!: Wikipedia defines it as "hostile and insulting interaction between Internet users."
15) Conspiracies Aren't Just for Nuts: The comments section is an excellent place to warn others that Opus Dei is keeping Area 51 hidden, even if it's at the bottom of a YouTube video about crocheting baby boots.
16) Speling Dosnt Count: Nuff said.
17) Curses: Swear. A lot.

 

:cry I'm sorry. I'll try harder.





LOL

So, this one annoys me the most:

Why start it if you aren't interested enough to post in it after that? Forums are for discussion if you ask me. If you don't want to have a discussion...Why? Why do you start it?

 

Hahahahaha likely been guilty of 1 or 2 in that list, but at to 16 with 18. over use of l33t or txt speak in threads, we are not your phone/social messaging homies!

think on your Laura, you see the exact same posts on multiple forums, someone hits multiples as they think they may get an answer quicker, yes in some cases but does not mean its right, others will ask the question on other forums if they think what they read on one was not to their liking.

3, 7 you see a lot on forums and have done since they became popular, easy to make stuff up and be faceless, adds to some god complex.

8 a corker, wikipedia or Google is not the Great Library of Alexandria, more duff or out of date info on wikipedia and Google than enough.

 

They do quite surprised its not a theme park yet!

 

Maybe I should sticky this for all the would-be-trolls. :-D

 

Just BAN new TROLLS (oh hell capitals)..... ahhhhh

I did sadly, I know I dont have the time but I did want to hit your list with a perfect post, I could not make it word wright (not as if a troll would know what proper pronunciation and sentencing was), so guess not a troll!

 

I'm just glad you responded to your own thread so I didn't have to call you a troll as per #12. :-D

 

IM N OT A TROLL!!!! So what do you think about them Rams>>???

 

Ah well that's what "trolls" don't understand is that are actually trolls, they think its normal behavior or its there right to say anything, maybe a 1st amendment right in USA but there are limits in the USA and not all countries have this, could eventually depend on where website is based and not always the country you think.

Also websites can have rules on behavior, some could argue that they have a right to say what they want but the coin can be tossed in the other direction and the right to face your accuser, then a troll will not want to be known by their REAL NAME!

Most forum admins can spot a troll within a handful of post they make in a contentious thread, great we have some of these threads on occasion as it weeds out the troll, *here trolly troll, come feed on the conspiracy, you know you want to byte [sic]*

 

@DOA ahahahahahaha LMAO, I'll leave that title to the whole admin/mod team and members here at MGs for just spotting nutters.

You have just reminded me of something I need to do as in design a business card for work, done the logo ages ago.

 

I used to belong to one of those sites BMG (before MG LOL). People were praised for being incredibly nasty to everyone and those were the most popular members...pathetic actually.