Proof of God

Found in a banana no less.

God found in a banana

 

well, i'm confused what this has to do with God or a banana...



Title: [SIZE=+1]Couple's intimacy reciprocating and pivoting two seat assembly[/SIZE]
Document Type and Number: United States Patent 5385154
Link to this Page: http://www.freepatentsonline.com/5385154.html
Abstract: An intimacy chair assembly and method to assist a human couple to engage in sexual intercourse with reduced effect of gravity or the reduced expenditure of substantial energy including a pair of facing seats for the couple, the assembly being capable of reciprocating movement of at least one seat selectively continually toward and away from the other seat in a substantially longitudinal direction and of selectively continually pivoting said one seat about an upright axis.

 

oops, wrong link, could an admin fix this for me? Here's the proper link, sorry folks....

God found in a banana

I can't believe I did that LOL

 

LMAO..Hi Jack! You must have been posting the same time I was locating and fixing the link.

All better now.

 

hrmmm...the link you just posted I can only get a blank page....what type of file is it? Did I find the right thing for the post I edited? I figured that had to be it....at least I hoped it was.....

 

Sigh, I clicked on the first link at work lol, time to sneak off and delete the logs fortunatly its my server lol.

 

Works for me Abby, don't know why it's not working for you....

Must be a Floridy thingy going on... LOL

 

They'v found a fruit thats easy to eat,big deal,how do they explain pinapples

I'll show them where one of those fits

 

I thought banana's were made for monkeys??

 

Don't ask Burning Monkey, he doesn't get a banana.

I have no problem with God's existance (one of the definitions of being a Mason), but literal interpritation of scripture is something else. A very personal issue if ever there was one.

 

A key requirement, no athiest may be made a Mason. We don't care how you worship or view God, be it Christian, Jew, Muslem, or whatever, but no athiests.

 

Whats a mason

 

Ever see the movie National Treasure?

Masonry started out as a guild of craftsmen, but as the requirments for stone cutters and builders diminished (usually for the great cathedrals of Europe) it morphed into a fraternity for men. Notable Masons, George Washington, Ben Franklin, Asmodaous Mozart (I think), Buzz Aldren, John Wayne, Red Scelton. It is a true world wide fraternity, in some cases mutating beyond what most lodges (a place where masons meet) will accept, such as accepting woman (another key requirement, a Mason must be a man, sound of mind and limbs, freeborn, and come under the tongue of good report, have a good reputation in other words). If you can judge a man or a group by its enemies as well as its friends, Hitler reduced the number of German freemasons from 5 million to under 5 thousand, the survivors being from lodges where the secretaries managed to distroy the records in time. Seems he was convinced they would asasinate him or something.

My lodge has had visitors from Nigeria, Scottland (a big land of Masons), England (another one), and India. I know for a fact we are active in Oz.

Other Masonic subgroups (to join must be a Mason), Shriners, York Rite, Scottish Rite, Jokers. There are a lot more, but that is all I can remember at the moment. Other affiliated groups for family members of Masons, DeMolay (youth group for boys), Rainbow (youth group for girls), and Easter Star (usually married couples, but not required).

Masonic logos include the Square and Compass, the All Seeing Eye, the double outfacing eagles and many more. Early in the United States history Masons were deep in our goverment, so our money is loaded with various hidden icons. Masons love having our little in jokes that only another Mason will get. While it is a stereotype, and therefore not universal, most Masons are old, highly conservitive, and dislike change in any form.

TMI?

 

That kind of mason!I thought it was supposed to be secret

To help them feel special and better than the rest of the populace,no offence,but I think its really childish,secret organizations are for kids and people will low self esteem IMHO,I'm sure you have your own noble reasons for joining though Bill

 

The only secrets Masons really have is how few secrets we really have.

A nice backhanded compliment. So what have you done with your life that is so special that you can judge? Both Shriners and Scottish Rite have childrens hospitals in Texas, free of charge for the kids and their families from all over the world. The hospitals reputations are impecable. This is repeated more or less all over the world. Masons serve the comunity, but then, I expect you didn't recognize George Washington or Ben Franklin's names.

We are picky who we let in, no criminals, atheists, or nutjobs (well, maybe the occasional right wing nutjob). Basically it is about fellowship, and being with a bunch of guys that each and every one I can call a friend. Maybe you have enough friends, but I like a wider reach myself.

We also support each other. My granddad, who was a Mason, lost his wallet in a crowded train station with his wife and seven kids far from home. The local masons on the train station came through, and he was able to get his family home safely. Again, what have you got that can match?

Their are a lot of other similar reasons, but from the sounds of it you've got your mind made up.

 

Bill I'm not judging you,I really appologise if thats he way I have come across as I have said to many other people on this forum I am not judgemental in the least

I'm a big fan of the American dream,no matter where you come from,your background,who you know,who your parents are,your sex,the colour of your skin,the religion you believe in or not-

If you work hard you will be rewarded with prosperity

These masonic Cults oppose that dream,they say if you fit a preditermined class of person that we feel deserves prosperity then you can have benifits that the rest of the populace isnt good enough for

These masonic cults can send the countries they use back centuries in social terms,they keep nepotism and the aristocracy alive in a world that is moving toward tolerance and acceptance ,a world I want to be a part of not a fascist club

Nothing but the police,I'm just like everyone else and I hope people who are less fortunate that me have the police to look after them,I hope they dont give me a secret handshake look after me while neglecting someone else who may be more in need who isnt christian,middle class or male,I hope I'm ignored and the person in need is looked after

Whether you like it or not the people who are not as privalaged as you end up paying,think about it,those people who found your relatives wallet neglected thier post,for example if they were police they should have been looking after the populace,not giving your case special attention

BTW I dont have many friends,they say I always disagree with thier beliefs

They talk rubbish

 

First, Masonery is not a cult. We do not advocate any particular belief in God, but are tolerent of all beliefs systems. Show me a cult where this is the case? Within our governing system we are a democracy, and change our leadership yearly. Again, not a system that cult practices. Nor are we a religeon, other than accepting that a man is not an island and should acknowlege his dept to God. Our meetings times and places are public knowledge, closed meetings do not a cult make. Nor do we limit who can join, we have people from all walks of life, we are most definately not a aristocratic organization. Indeed, quite the opposite.

Masonery was instrumental in founding the United States. Many Masonic ideals, such as all men are equal before God and democracy, were installed in the Constitution. A large portion of the founding fathers of the USA were Masons. We are men who like to join something larger than ourselves, we are not perfect, but we are trying to improve. The mechanism we have chosen may not meet your approval, but that is a personal decision.

Police vary in various parts of the world. One thing they are not and never will be is a charity. They are there to enforce the law, and even then can not help in many cases after the fact if there isn't anything to go on, such as pickpocketing. Communities have various mechanisms to help people in need, Masonery is one.

You talk about neglecting other people who don't have a secret handshake, how many hours have you spent actually serving your community? I've put in a lot of my time doing so. Masonery is open to all men, if you CHOOSE not to join, or have lived a lifestyle that invalidates your membership then whose fault is that?

When you casually insult, quick to judge, and practice intolerence, you won't have many friends. It too is a choice, as is the belief in God.

 

Oh, why's that? Do the Masons come out of a religious history?
abri

 

Can these two statements be used in the same post?


When you casually insult, quick to judge, and practice intolerence, you won't have many friends.


have lived a lifestyle that invalidates your membership then whose fault is that?

 

Bill I wanna apologize for saying it was a cult this may have been construde as insulting,I also wanna apologize for saying people with low self esteem are masons that was judgemental on my part

this was a joke

I'm not judging you,we're having a philosophical debate as to how to lead a good life,I disagree with your position thats all,I dont think anything bad of you,you sound like a great guy

I'll step back now I'v had my rant

 

It's OK, you haven't said anything a lot of other people think. The fact that what they believe is often wrong. I was listening to a pole on PBS (public broadcast) that over 50% of americans believe that WMD were found in Iraq, that Alciada had a connection with Sadam Hussan, both of which are pretty well disproven. Many americans have trouble distinguishing Iraq from Iran. One of my favorite quotes is it's not what folks know that gets them into trouble, it's what they know that ain't so.

In this case it started a war.

I see no conflict. The fact we don't accept thugs, liers, cheats, theives, etc is not intolerance, just common sense.

The rejection of athiests is a different matter, when a man takes an oath to God, it is required that he believe in God. Again, common sense. My personal belief is an athiest can be a good, moral man (or woman), something that a lot of other people have problems with.

Masonery has had it's dark periods, times where Masons did things that were obviously wrong. The fraternity has learned from them. We are men, men often make mistakes.

We like to have fun too. Who can look at a Shriner riding a tiny go cart and not laugh. Many cartoons have had fun with us too, like the stone cutters in the Simsons, or the Water Buffilos on the Flinstones. Basically we're just trying to do the right thing and get by, just like everyone else.

Somewhat, there is a lot of myth and a lot of history with Masonery. The myth part deals with the building of King Solomon's Temple. The history part I'm a bit weak on, Masonery is at least 500 years old, probably a lot older. It has derived from operative masonery, the act of laying stones to make a building. A lot of the work was on the great Cathedrals of Europe. The handshake and other stuff was so a Master Mason could identify himself at a worksite, even though no one could personally identify him. Over the centries the shift in building techniques has caused Masonery to be speculative, and open to anyone of good character. During the renasaunce this probably meant wealth, but that has shifted too, especially in North America during the colonization. Our standard book is the bible, but if a Muslim joins it becomes the Koran. I'm not clear on other religeons, other than knowing we use whatever book the person joining holds as holy.

 

Thanks for bunching me in with the less informed 50% of Americans ,I like to think I'm pretty savvy when it comes to world events but often on this forum its proved otherwise,interesting spelling of Al-Qaeda

You paint a very honest noble picture of the masons and emphasise community,like what you'v done with religion,opinions are a little different over here,I'm not sure if your are one in the same but I know of some people personally,not friends,acquaintances who have joined the Free Masons,they joined mainly for the benifits and financial gain they owned thier own businesses and were middle class,I doubt they would join knowing they'd be helping community more than scratching each others backs for financial gain,one of them I know is grumpy old fart,the kind of person that would pop a kids ball if it landed in his garden,a snob,thinks he is upper middle class when he lives around the corner from me

Thats the picture I have of the free masons,upper middle class elitists who own thier own business and wanna get richer I like the picture you have painted though,doesnt seem so bad

 

Just out of curiosity, Rikki, would you join any club?
lol
abri

 

That question has a wide scope,I'v joined majorgeeks,does that count

ATM I wouldnt join the masons but I never say never,as Bill has pointed out I dont really know that much about them,I'm too young and theres too many rules I'v yet to break

 

If someone with a criminal record has accepted God and changed their life are they still out?

 

Turn this around, if a known pediofile had sworn he had changed, would you let him babysit your child?

There are a lot of people who do the right thing the first time around. We have been known to accept people who have made mistakes and were open about them, but some things you can accept their sincerity, but not let them have access to the baby.

There is old saying, People believe what you do, not what you say.

Like all things man made, it's not perfect, just like my spelling As part of our initiation, we swear we are not joining for material gain. Unfortunately, people do lie. I suspect it is a community thing, the guys in my area seem like a bunch of stand up men. I suspect a lot of the guys in your local lodges are the same. Lodges have personalities, just like people. Unfortunately, it only takes a few to taint the name of the many, which is one of the reasons we're so picky.

Having said that, without dimishing our standards we want as many people to join as we can get locally, which tends to counter the elitism.

I was mentioning the 50% poll by way of illustration, people who are sure of their facts (and have them wrong) can cause enormous harm. Your opinion of Masons is not a big deal, and can be discussed (even if you don't change you mind). The disinformation campain our gov has indulged it has caused major harm, but that is a different thread.

Historically, southern Masons in the United States were guilty of most of the sins that the rest of the south suffered from. All I can say is we're changing. It takes time, the average age of Masons in the US is around 75. My lodge is pretty different, we have had a rash of young people join last couple of years. Last installation of officers rug rats were everywhere. It was a happy sound.

Most Masons are family men, and we are charged not to put the fraternity before God, Family, or your duties to your neighbors. Some guys miss this part.

 

Fair enough.

 

"ask one to be one"

 

So born again Christians don't really believe in God? Or is it that you can't really trust them to believe in God? (confused here)
abri

 

While our members are mainly Christian in this area, remember we are nondenominational. I've said it before, but a lot of people do the right thing the first time. We are after the folks that don't have to be born again to do the right things, be they Jewish, Muslim, Christian, or whatever.

Time is the true test of character. If this hypothetical individual has truly changed, it will show. A mere declaration of change isn't enough. Prison is also a pretty good clue of a mans moral character.

Masonry is not a religion or a church. We require a man be religious, have a good reputation, and want to join for the right reasons. We are encouraged to discuss Masonry with people, but are not suposed to recruite individuals.

 

I'm getting the picture. How did this thread take off on the Masons?
abri

 

I think I hijacked it. I mentioned something about believing in God being a Masonic requirement or something, and Rikky asked me what a Mason was, a easy button of mine.

I KNOW! I'll blame Rikky! Everyone likes to blame Rikky!

 

Kinda was my fault,if you both wanna know for sure just click the pages buttons at the top it allows you to scan back to previous pages

 

Only God has the power and authority to judge a man's/woman's heart, but "you'll know the type tree, by the fruit it bears"

 

Well, I see my deity all around me, inside me and out through all the universe with no end. Be it a planet, a sun or a pulsar with a black hole nearby, it's all good. It's called the universe for a reason..

 

Jeesh, this was a blast from the past. I remember putting a lot of work into this thread, but couldn't have found it again if my life depended on it.

I believe in God, but I have always felt a lot of people who claimed to speak for Him or Her had a private agenda. It is a really easy way to try to control people, and unfortunately it works.

How's it going Augie? Long time no chat.

 

Yeah I remember this thread too kinda spooky listening to my younger self,its like going back in time and watching myself speak,I wanna shake me and shout "Be nicer to Bill.":-D

My opinion of the Masons has changed and yes I'd like them to keep me up to date with charity work/dinners,I would like to do more for charity but I have bigger fish to fry ATM.

I'm friends with the leader of a local lodge and he was telling me about the charity dinners they go to and it sounds pretty cool,you pay for an over priced dinner with the money going to charity and have a good time,they are awarded cups or mugs with the name and date of the charity dinner on and he proudly displays them in his kitchen 'there's about 50 or something',it would be nice to have a little token reminder that you did try to help people less fortunate.


With regard to the original thread topic,the banana video has actually become a bit of a joke,the claim by the Christians that god designed that banana with man in mind has been disproven, the banana he has in the video 'the modern' banana is actually a product of very selective farming by man,natural bananas look nothing like that,they are smaller,shorter,have seeds in,thick skins and are hard to eat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLqQttJinjo

Ray comfort has since retracted his argument and admitted he was wrong,removing it from his videos and books.

 

That's, I would join the Masons because I'd like to do more for charity.

 

I wasn't gonna post but since it hasn't been locked I figured what the hey

And on the Friday God resurrected thyn four year old thread by thyn hand of thou Tony Rush and he saw thou thyn thread was good:-D

 

Oh Deja vu!... Lazarus of the threads! :-D

Yep, anyone half-educated knows that Bananas were selectively bred to have no seeds by humans, (gasp!), (the little black dots inside of them are what's left of the seeds). Same with taste, sugar content, etc. There are many different types of Bananas still around - giant Bananas for cooking only , red ones and so forth.
"The Banana is curved towards the mouth" - Yeah, if unless you hold it pointing away from you, LOL.

(Welp, now you know why my original title was 'Brigadier Banana', :-o:-D)

"Christians" like the ones that made this video are basically just pseudo-scientific liars, and really irritate me. Makes all Christians look like ignorant liars and gives them a bad name. - But anyway, takes all kinds to make the world, I guess.

Einstein did have beliefs in some form of God, but not necessarily as in some literal, (and simplistic) interpretations, A.F.A.I.K.

 

Yeah I can't stand it when they use half truths or just outright lie,I don't judge Christians by these guys.

:-D It is annoying when you get a banana that bends the wrong way and it won't reach your face,I used to exchange them but now I just ask someone to hold it while I walk round it.

:-D

 

roflmao ....+1 for humour - classic, mate!:-D