Redneck Census Form

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Uncle Bob, Apr 4, 2005.

  1. Uncle Bob

    Uncle Bob MajorGeek

    Last name: ______________________
    First name: (Check appropriate box)
    (_)Billy-Bob
    (_)Billy-Joe
    (_)Billy-Ray
    (_)Billy-Sue
    (_)Billy-Mae
    (_)Billy-Jack

    What does everyone call you?
    (_)Booger
    (_)Bubba
    (_)Junior
    (_)Sissy
    (_)Other____________

    Age:____ (if unsure,guess)

    Sex:____ M ____ F ____Not sure

    Shoe size:____ Left ____ Right

    Occupation:(Check appropriate box)
    (_)Farmer
    (_)Mechanic
    (_)Hair Dresser
    (_)Unemployed
    (_)Dirty Politician
    (_)Preacher

    Spouse's Name:_____________

    2nd Spouse's Name:_______________

    3rd Spouse's Name:_______________

    Lover's Name:_______________

    Relationship with spouse:(Check appropriate box)
    (_)Sister
    (_)Brother
    (_)Aunt
    (_)Uncle
    (_)Cousin
    (_)Mother
    (_)Father
    (_)Son
    (_)Daughter
    (_)Pet

    Number of children living in the home:_____

    Number of the children living in the shed:_____

    Number that are yours:_____

    Mother's Name:____________________(If not sure, leave blank)

    Father's Name:____________________(If not sure, leave blank)

    Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade commpleted)

    (Check appropriate box)
    Total number of vehicles you own:___
    Number of vehicles that still crank:___
    Number of vehicles in front yard:___
    Number of vehicles in the back yard:___
    Number of vehicles on cement blocks:___

    Firearms you own and where you keep them:
    ____truck
    ____bedroom
    ____bathroom
    ____kitchen
    ____shed

    Model and year of your pickup:196_

    Do you have a gun rack?
    (_)Yes (_)No; If no, please explain:

    Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
    (_)The National Enquirer
    (_)The Globe
    (_)TV Guide
    (_)Soap Opera Digest
    (_)Rifle and Shotgun

    Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____
    Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:___
    Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:____

    How often do you bathe?
    (_)Weekly
    (_)Monthly
    (_)Not Applicable

    Color of eyes:
    Left_____ Right_____

    Color of hair:
    (_)Blond
    (_)Black
    (_)Red
    (_)Brown
    (_)White
    (_)Clairol

    Color of teeth:
    (_)White
    (_)Yellow
    (_)Brownish-Yellow
    (_)Brown
    (_)Black
    (_)N/A

    Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
    (_)Red-Man


    How far is your home from a paved road?

    (_)1 mile
    (_)2 miles
    (_)just a whoop-and-a-holler
    (_)road?
     
  2. NeoNemesis

    NeoNemesis Moutharrhea

    Funny, but VERY VERY old.
     
  3. Uncle Bob

    Uncle Bob MajorGeek

    Oh well.... It was new and funny when I read it. :p
     
  4. cindysnoopy

    cindysnoopy Shotgun!

    First time I saw that one, too. Must have made the redneck circuit several times before it got to the rest of us ;) :D
     

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