Things May Not Be As They Seem...

Sometimes it is easy to see someone as a jerk, unfriendly, or whatever. This article made me think a bit.

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2014...ging-convenience-store-clerk/?intcmp=features

 

Touching story and I know of one very similar from about 4 years ago. One of my mates (who is a bachelor) that lives about three streets away happens to stop at our local 7/11 for petrol every other day on the way to or from work and he remarked there was a new woman serving that looked really sad and a bit teary and he thought she would be quite attractive if she just smiled a bit. I didn't think too much about it until my wife, me and my daughter called in for petrol a couple of weeks later and of course my daughter wanted a slurpee. When we went inside she pointed to the sad lady that my friend had mentioned and whispered did I know who she was. I said no and she then told me her husband had been cheating on her and had walked out on her and the kids and this had really upset her 15yo daughter who then committed suicide. The daughter went to the same college in between the years of my son and daughter, which is why my daughter knew as they both played in the netball team and the netball team members were offered counselling.
My mate came round for beers the following Friday night and I mentioned it to him and although he doesn't have any kids could see why she would be sad and teary. Turns out she had to have a job to support her two other children as hubby had vanished interstate and 7/11 was the only local job going that fitted in with school hours.
What a courageous lady as she had only been grieving for a few weeks when she took the job :cool

Thanks Fred your post reminded me of this tragically sad story
Oh and my friend also felt really bad about what he had said about her earlier
Sometimes it pays to find out the story before you engage your mouth

 

I do my best to park my personal life in the work parking lot, but, really, sometimes you just can't.

 

Touching story indeed, and drives home the fact you should never judge a book by its cover, as it were. You can't determine the content of someone's character by just one meeting. We all have bad days . . . and everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Very true. I aways try and keep my work life and my home life seperated. A excited co-worker called me once on my day off and asked, "You hear what happened up at the station earlier!" He was aghast when I said, "No, and I don't want to know right now. I'll find out when I get back to work." After all, I hadn't gotten a call, page, or a uniform at my door so whatever it was: A) Was not that bad, and B) They didn't need me then, and certainly do not need me now.

I try and do the same in reverse . . . when I'm at work, I'm working. Barring emergencies, whatever drama awaits me at home is out of sight and out of mind. But it is hard at times to keep work and personal stuff seperated . . . I just do the best I can.

 

Sometimes Book-covers are accurate, sometimes, not. Sometimes appearance is all we have to go on. But yeah, if someone's always sad/happy/angry, or whatever, there is usually a good reason(s) for it. I have mine.
Maybe we shouldn't judge, but we all do it, sooner or later, <*sigh!>.

 

Pretty well spot on and you are right ......... we do all do it at some time or other and as Fred originally says maybe it is something we should think about

 

I try very hard not to judge people, but because I, too, am a person I can't help it sometimes. The thing is, while I absolutely understand how things can get overwhelming, I also know it's a choice to be miserable as a way of life. Having a bad day, a bad week, a bad year? All of that I get, and I don't expect golden rays of sunshine every time I see someone. I can't pull that off, and I wouldn't want to. But I truly do believe that remaining miserable, especially when you constantly show it to others (and most especially in a work situation), is a choice. Everybody gets to decide when they wake up what their attitude for the day is going to be. Things may happen to change it, and there's not much you can do about it. But you can choose not to let the bad things drag you down and keep you there indefinitely.

There is a difference between being unhappy because of a specific thing (or things) for as long as it takes you to deal with them, and remaining miserable for the rest of your life. I've watched my mother become a bitter old woman who will recount the complaints of other people when she runs out of her own, who is never happy about anything, who can always find the bad in the good, and who needs to make everyone around her feel the same. If she has nothing current to complain about, she complains about things my dad did or said when they were dating or married, or things her parents did before she got married, or things that happened when she was in school or working. It feels like a physical assault on my ears sometimes, having to listen to diatribes that start with "when that person (she will not say 'your dad') was building this house..." (in 1961), or "when I was in high school..." (graduated 1954), "when I was married to that person..." (divorced 1978), or "when I was at the station..." (retired 1998).

So while I agree with the author's point, and I do understand that sometimes you just can't help letting your miserableness show even if you're trying to be professional and do your job (and that it can last for days, weeks, months, or years at a time), I also think sometimes people need to make a decision to stop wallowing in their misery. And here's where my life philosophy comes in handy: You can either find something to laugh about, or you can shoot yourself in the head. I've had some horrible crap happen the last few years, and I keep getting up and finding the funny. Because if I couldn't do that, I really would.

Please don't take this to mean I think simply deciding to have a good day is going to make one happen. That only works if you never leave your house or talk to anyone else, and sometimes not even then. But at least 50% of how you deal with a situation depends on your attitude, and only you can decide what your attitude is. Which is why, when I run across someone who is a jerk in the limited amount of time I will deal with them (store clerk, whatever), I write it off as them having a bad day. But if it's someone I see on a regular basis, for a long period of time, who is always a jerk, then I start to assume it's a personality trait and write them off completely. Because some people are, and it doesn't matter what's going on in their lives, I just don't need them in mine.

 

Good point Sgt Tibbs. What you say is good information for people who are having problems. In the story, the lady in question was not rude, or performing her job poorly, she just came off as 'unfriendly'.

:cool

 

True...I did go off on something of a tangent. :-o

 

On a tangent, in The Lounge? Oh my. Mods!? :-D

 

LOL...I've been known to randomize Threads as well as tangents, too, LoL! roflmao

 

I did too, but Fred started it! LOL

I'm very guilty of veering off on tangents most of the time, but especially when the topic under discussion is prone to nuance like pre-judging others.

 

I was wondering if you were a pre judger.

 

I judge everyone.. that way I'm being fair. :-D


Seriously, I try not to judge people because I don't know what kind of day or week or life they've had. I try really hard to treat people how I would like to be treated.

 

:-D

I try not to pre-judge anyone, especially based on just one meeting or event. Like Phantom said we all subconsciously do that to a certain degree . . . it's human nature. The trick is to recognize the tendency and run all first impressions through a filter of conscious thought.

Right on, Dyamond If everyone did that the world would be a much happier place.

 

Something to consider when making an observation of people is that some people are just not naturally sociable. That does not make them a bad person, just different or possibly shy. As stated by dyamond try to treat people how you would like to be treated. A little kindness from you might be the best thing to happen to some person today.