You Folks Are Quiet, How About A Joke Or Two?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Fred_G, Dec 16, 2011.

  1. Fred_G

    Fred_G Heat packin' geek

    OK, you slacker posters, found this one in my emails this morning, and liked it.

    So here you go. 'The Husband Store'

    A store that sells new husbands has opened in Manchester , just off Deansgate where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

    You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!


    So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


    Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs


    She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:


    Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
    'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'


    So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

    Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.


    'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.


    She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

    Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework...


    'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
    Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:


    Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.


    She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:


    Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

    PLEASE NOTE:
    To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street with the same rules.

    The first floor has wives that love sex.

    The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer

    The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.


    :-D:-D
     
  2. ASUS

    ASUS MajorGeek

    Astrology by Tonto







    The Lone Ranger and Tonto went

    camping in the desert. After they got

    their tent all set up, both men fell

    sound asleep.



    Some hours later,

    Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,



    'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? '



    The Lone Ranger replies,

    'I see millions of stars.'



    'What that tell you?' asked Tonto.



    The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,



    'Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies

    and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is

    in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.

    Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

    Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

    What's it tell you, Tonto?'





    “You dumber than buffalo shit…it means someone stole the tent.”
     
  3. Fred_G

    Fred_G Heat packin' geek

    Good one Asus!:-D:-D
     

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