Finances vs wedding

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ACE 256, Mar 12, 2010.

?

Go for the 27th or wait?

Poll closed Mar 28, 2010.
  1. Get married on the 27th and renew your vows in a nice ceramony later.

    95.5%
  2. Wait it out and save up for a nice wedding that wont be on your one year anniversary.

    4.5%
  1. ACE 256

    ACE 256 MajorGeeks Forum Administrator - Overclocking Expe

    Long story short me and my fiancee are really wanting to get married on march 27th. Its our one year anniversary. Our bills, getting ready for our newborns arrival and the chaos of working and planning a wedding left us stressed enough. Today we found our cell phone bill put our bank account 180$ in the hole. :eek After a whole day worth of running back and forth from the bank and the verizon office, them insisting they only took out the bill amount even when we have proof from the bank how much they took out, we finally tracked down what happened. One of there employees took our debit card number and took out 80$ above the bill charge putting us 180$ in the hole again. Lesson learned, never ever pay over the phone using a card. :banghead So this brings up the question. Should we go ahead with the wedding and get married on the 27 knowing it will be next to nothing. Or wait and save up for a good wedding and give up the idea of getting married on our one year anniversary? Not exactly the norm for wedding advice, but your all my friends here and I wanna know what you all think. :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2010
  2. TeeCee

    TeeCee MajorGeek

    Hi ACE 256, from my own personal opinion, I say go ahead and take the plunge on the 27th. In this economy, you never know what the future holds, so go for it, and be happy! The 27th is already special, and if you delay it, it will only be a new date. Keep that special date ;)

    Enough stress already. Go for it, and just "do it"! ;) You can always plan a nice trip later. Maybe in the summer. :)
     
  3. sibeer

    sibeer MajorGeek

    If you want to get married, get married. If you set another date, when it arrives, you'll probably still be paying bills and won't have the money then either.
     
  4. sikvik

    sikvik Corporal Karma

    In agreement with TC and sibeer. Tie the knot on the 27th. If money is tight now - I'd rather save up for the "newborns arrival". Children are expensive.
    Congratulations all the same:)

    Cheers..
     
  5. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    Yep, if your both in love and baby on the way - do it! Chances are, finances won't be too chipper later on anyway. When I got married, (nearly 30 years ago *gulp!*), we were pretty much broke, but still was one of the most memorable days of our lives. ~ Go get it! ;) (Maybe the guests can give money or something for wedding presents - it helps).;)
     
  6. DavidGP

    DavidGP MajorGeeks Forum Administrator - Grand Pooh-Bah Staff Member

    Hi Ace

    My opinions on marrage are that get married when you want, be that the 27th, the cost of the actual service is not great (going off UK prices here) but its the extras as in a party and meals, hotels etc that add up, but who are these for, not you and to be wife but all the reletives and friends, TBH thats an expence you can drop, a party for others! I'm not having any cash issues but I wouldnt be holding a large expensive party for others to enjoy.

    In this current climate a simple but nice wedding day then a small close family only meal out is good enough, you can then have a 1yr of being married party if you wish for more family and friends when funds are better, think of yourselves and the coming bambino first and DO NOT get into financial difficulties just for keeping some friends and family happy just for a celebration party, they if friends will appriciate that you are a new family with many expences to come with a newborn and life together.

    I personally would not thank friends for being upset if I was getting married and didnt have a party to satify them, they I hope would respect that money is tight at present for all.
     
  7. brandypeppy

    brandypeppy MajorGeek

    Tie the knot, make more babies,:-D:-D:-D

    Five years from now you'll wonder why you ever even questioned it.:wave:wave
     
  8. darlene1029

    darlene1029 A Grand Lady- R.I.P. 06/06/2012

    By all means keep your original wedding date no matter how small or sparse it may turn out. There will alway be reasons come up to postpone.
    Sorry about your financial situation at the moment, it's pretty much is how most young people start out.
    All the best to you, all of you :):):)
     
  9. joey off the street

    joey off the street Lounge Lizard No.1

    Great point, David.
    @ Ace. If your family and friends do happen to spit the dummy over a lack of free food and drink, suggest that they foot the bill and you'll do the organising. Happy days :)

    Sounds like a plan, the 27th of March. Go for it. Good luck, hope it all goes well, wedding and baby.

    Are we all invited? To the wedding I mean, not the birth rolleyes
     
  10. born2golf

    born2golf Private E-2

    We got married 43 years ago with $300.00 in our pocket.
    Marriage is about the unconditional love you have for each other not about not about the money you have or don't have in your pocket.
    Wishing you both all the Happiness and Success with your marriage!
    Here's to a Healthy and Happy Baby.
     
  11. DavidGP

    DavidGP MajorGeeks Forum Administrator - Grand Pooh-Bah Staff Member

    Indeed, thats all that matters, think of yourselfs first and foremost, I too like JOTS wish you well.

    I ment to add this to my original post but didnt have the words to hand to portray what I wanted to type to this line of your OP....

    I would say yes, it seems like to me that you both love each other, and your are having a baby too, next to nothing in regards to a wedding and likely its cost means nothing over the love you both have for each other, this love cannot be bought its value cannot be measured ever!

    Even if you get married with just the two of you and a minister/priest/judge/captain + witnesses then thats all that is needed, the celebration can come later for others if needed, hey as I said maybe a 1yr later after the marrage or on your childs birth :) but dont be pressured to think you need to have a lavish celebration to satify others.

    Think more of the cost of a family over other immaterial things, you look after your family.
     
  12. TimW

    TimW MajorGeeks Administrator - Jedi Malware Expert Staff Member

    My first wedding was at a neighbors home. We wanted to get married, period. Her family was in Maryland as was most of mine, but we didnt want to wait ( considering the outcome, maybe we should have waited!! LOL). Friends brought food and drinks, our neighbor married us, and the party lasted well into the night. We re-did it all later for the family back east. Even then, we had a "friend" who we paid a small amount to furnish small sandwichs and punch. The leftove booze lasted quite a while!! Hehehehe.

    Second wedding was with two very close friends of mine, my wife's sister and her husband, and Alexis in the womb. Party at the inlaws. Again, next to no cost.

    Bottom line????? GET MARRIED!!!:-D:-D
     
  13. Mimsy

    Mimsy Superior Imperial Queen of the MG Games Forum

    You're making your commitment to each other official and permanent, I wouldn't call that nothing... far, far, from it.

    Go for it. You have no idea what the future will bring, if you want to marry, marry. The way I see it, the wedding is not supposed to be an earth-shattering "greatest event of you life ever"-type thing anyway. It's a starting point for the best thing in your life ever -- your life together with your new spouse.

    Like others in this thread have said, if your friends or family throw a fit over a lack of huge pomp and circumstance, either ignore them or make them pay for it if they want it so badly. Your wedding is about you and her, not about them.

    Besides, if you live in the US there are a lot of financial advantages for married couples, as far as car insurance, health insurance, taxes, et cetera... if you have a baby on the way and money is tight, get those benefits as soon as you can. :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2010
  14. ACE 256

    ACE 256 MajorGeeks Forum Administrator - Overclocking Expe

    I don't know where to start. You all are like a family to me. :grouphug Thanks every one for the advice and support it really means a lot. Even though were lucky to have a 100$ budget I think were going to go ahead and tie the knot on the 27th and I will be sure to post what pics we get. I'm going to convince her join so she can meet you all. :)
     
  15. Mimsy

    Mimsy Superior Imperial Queen of the MG Games Forum

    Courthouse, judge, and witnesses (two close friends will work), costs basically the administration fee -- a lot less than $100, at least in my state. It's worth looking into if you want to save on expenses but still get some formality and ceremony for the big event.
     
  16. Mrs.ACE

    Mrs.ACE Private E-2

    hey this is "the fiancee" :)
     
  17. sikvik

    sikvik Corporal Karma

    Welcome to MG Mrs.ACE:)
     
  18. TeeCee

    TeeCee MajorGeek

    Hi Mrs. Ace, glad to meet you!:wave Hope you two have a nice long and wonderful life together!! :)
     
  19. Mimsy

    Mimsy Superior Imperial Queen of the MG Games Forum

    Hi there! :wave

    Welcome to MGs. Tell Ace to start posting here more often! :p
     
  20. Mrs.ACE

    Mrs.ACE Private E-2

    :D ok just did he is making excuses
     
  21. ACE 256

    ACE 256 MajorGeeks Forum Administrator - Overclocking Expe

    But there valid excuses, most of them. rolleyes But I have been trying to post more. :)
     
  22. joey off the street

    joey off the street Lounge Lizard No.1

    Hello, Mrs Ace :wave
    Congratulations. Hope you both have a long and happy marriage together and best wishes for a safe and stress free journey into motherhood.
    Just out of sheer nosiness, when is the little one due?
     
  23. DavidGP

    DavidGP MajorGeeks Forum Administrator - Grand Pooh-Bah Staff Member

    Hey Welcome to the forum Mrs Ace

    You two have a great wedding day together.
     
  24. darlene1029

    darlene1029 A Grand Lady- R.I.P. 06/06/2012


    Hi and congratulations on both of your upcoming events, all the very best to all of you. :wave
     
  25. Calltaker

    Calltaker MajorGeek

    First of all... MrsAce... welcome to MG.

    Secondly... Depending on where you live, there are a lot of benefits to being married, ie: Healthcare and such as well as tax benefits in the US. Sometimes this will make your life easier, sometimes not. The thing is, if you really truly love each other, go for it.... Talk to your friends and families and tell them that you want this, but you can't do something lavish, and suggest that you would be happy to have a pot-luck get together after the ceremony to celebrate the beginning of your new life together.

    If everyone brings a dish to pass, it makes it interesting and fun, and if you want to add a little bit, ask everyone to bring copies of the recipe they use too... that way you can start your little cook book with all the foods at your 'reception' and have something neat to remember the day by that doesn't cost a lot (scrap-booking supplies are fairly cheap).

    My best to both of you, congratulations and may you have a long and happy life together.

    ~C
     
  26. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    Hi and welcome to the board!:)
    I'm going to pre-empt a little and say I look forward to hearing about your wedding day and may even a pic. or two, when the time comes.:cool
     
  27. sibeer

    sibeer MajorGeek

    Hi Mrs. Ace. I see you go by Mrs. even though you're not married yet.:-D
    You are fortunate to pick a forum loaded with all us marriage advisors...or at least experienced married people.
    Why not a web cam marriage? We can all tune in and have a drink together.
     
  28. Paxton007

    Paxton007 MajorGeek

    Without reading more than the poll.... If money is an issue, it's either too soon, or the wrong person. A year isn't going to change, other than turn what you're saving for, into every day expences. Though, I think a big initial wedding will draw a better response.. If you can't do it for a year, wait 10, and have your kids in it. (I just got divorced) LOL
     
  29. TeeCee

    TeeCee MajorGeek

    Hey Pax, If $$$ is an issue now, what makes you think in 10 years, it will be better? Nope, only worse with the way things are going up. rolleyes
    We just celebrated our 34th anniversary :) If we "waited for $$$" we'd be single! LOL Go back , and read the thread. I say, "Just Do It" on their special day. :)
     
  30. ACE 256

    ACE 256 MajorGeeks Forum Administrator - Overclocking Expe

    We're going to get married on the 27th at the court house with a few close friends and family then have a reception afterwords. Expect pics :)
     
  31. Fred_G

    Fred_G Heat packin' geek

    Best of wishes to you Ace!!! Ever wonder why fiancé is spelled so similar to finances... :-D

    Seriously, why waste a bunch of money, get married, be happy. I went to one wedding that was in an apartment. Literally in a one bedroom apartment, with about 5 other people besides the couple and Preacher. They are still married...
     
  32. Mimsy

    Mimsy Superior Imperial Queen of the MG Games Forum

    That's the way to do it!! :highfive Weddings do not become more special just because you spend more money on them, no more than an engagement ring does. They both get their value from what they symbolize... and that's far too priceless to put a price tag on.

    Congratulations to the future Mrs. Ace, and of course to you as well. Can't wait to see the pictures! :)
     
  33. TeeCee

    TeeCee MajorGeek

    Way to go , Ace & Mrs. Ace! :celebrate:clap Sounds wonderful, and you will still have your special day! :grouphug Can't wait for the pix!;)
     
  34. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    That's great to hear!:cool Look forward to seeing he pics. of the happy day.:)
     
  35. Paxton007

    Paxton007 MajorGeek

    I can't be respectable! I mean to say best wishes, but I keep being resentful, and trying to give you forewarning.

    Be careful with your money.. But above anything else, be true to yourself. If you're following your heart, I say go for it. But there's an old saying I've heard several times. "If your income is less than your outgo, your upkeep will be your downfall."

    Best of luck to both of you. Learn to do everything as a team, including budgeting. Congratulations! You've reached the final level. ;)
     
  36. thai_american_42

    thai_american_42 Corporal

    Weddings are best planned backwards. First, dedicate all your effort and resources to the honeymoon. Then, spend your energy planning on how and how soon to leave the wedding. The wedding cerimony is great (for the couple getting married) and it feels nice to walk into the reception and have everyone excited for you. It also is nice to dance, etc. in celebration. However, weddings are nothing more than a party thrown for others where the bride and groom entertain the guest. It is the marriage together what you really should focus on.
     
  37. Rikky

    Rikky Wile E. Coyote - One of a kind

    I just wanna say congrats Mate:)

    I think big weddings are the biggest waste of money in the history of the human race,what's worse young couples just starting out go into debt to pay for one day its not logical if you ask me.

    Yeah just a small ceremony,good luck to you both and the critter:)
     
  38. brandypeppy

    brandypeppy MajorGeek

    You got that right Rikky. The most elaborate, and expensive, wedding I've been to was for a niece, all paid for by my sister and bro-out-law. Everything was FIRST CLASS!!! No corners cut AT ALL!! Big rehearsal affair, then full church ceremony, limos, then huge gala at country club, ~150 people. Filet dinner, champagne, wines, all night open bar, band, WOW!!

    (divorced three years later)
     
  39. LauraR

    LauraR MajorGeeks Super-Duper Administrator Staff Member

    Sorry I'm late to the party.

    Welcome Mrs Ace and congrats to both of you. I think you're making the right decision. Big weddings are over rated.

    Good luck to you both (and baby)!:)
     
  40. Mrs.ACE

    Mrs.ACE Private E-2

    ok so we figured it out.....we are having a small ceremony and reception same place and time.....sat. at 2:30p.m. we almost have everything we need and we even worked out the best man brides maid thingy....so happy it is going to work out :)
     
  41. TeeCee

    TeeCee MajorGeek

    Hello Mrs. Ace, and Congrats to you and Mr. Ace :celebrate :celebrate I hope you two :heart have a long and happy life together :grouphug
     
  42. Mrs.ACE

    Mrs.ACE Private E-2

    ok so now i feel really stupid here i have missed so much cause i didn't know there were multiple pages :( and ACE wont stop making fun of me s'not fair. :) at any rate thanx for the welcome everyone and there will most certainly be pictures....btw thanx for the forewarning pax
     
  43. Mimsy

    Mimsy Superior Imperial Queen of the MG Games Forum

    Highly overrated!

    If you have to choose, spend your money on your marriage, not your wedding. Looking back, I'm very glad that we did... as a result, we were able to get exceptionally good terms on our mortgage. I'll take that over an over-hyped party any day. :)
     
  44. Kestrel13!

    Kestrel13! Super Malware Fighter - Major Dilemma Staff Member

    congratulations to you both and welcome to MG's Mrs ACE!:)
     
  45. TollhouseFrank

    TollhouseFrank Private First Class

    gonna be at the wedding. Plan on getting Mr. Ace in plenty of trouble before the ceremony so he can spend all night properly... "apologizing" to Mrs. Ace after the ceremony... :p
     
  46. Mimsy

    Mimsy Superior Imperial Queen of the MG Games Forum

    While I think your thoughts are going in the right direction, if he needs to be forced to do that, the marriage is not off to a good start... :-D;)
     
  47. Mrs.ACE

    Mrs.ACE Private E-2

    :) agreed i like my man to behave so that on our wedding night instead of says sorry we spend all our time doing you know what :D
     
  48. TollhouseFrank

    TollhouseFrank Private First Class

    LOL. You know me. Always nice and polite and never gettin' Mr. Ace into trouble...... :p
     
  49. DavidGP

    DavidGP MajorGeeks Forum Administrator - Grand Pooh-Bah Staff Member

    27th this month? dammit if so as will miss it as no flights from UK around those times to get me in in time for the beers :(

    Hope you both have a great day and wonderful life, have fun and enjoy


    David
     
  50. TollhouseFrank

    TollhouseFrank Private First Class

    i'm sure they will enjoy.

    i'm bringing them some of my homemade goodness. I do a lot of canning and make huge batches of homemade jellies, apple butter, pear butter, salsa, etc..... Everything done the old fashioned way.

    By the end of hte night tonight, they'll both be in the hospital with sugar comas... :D
     

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