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Old 01-27-05, 17:21
Zulu-1's Avatar
Zulu-1 Zulu-1 is offline
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Unhappy They need your help!

lol, my friend sent me this:

Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate/government scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS, high gasoline prices, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet. Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are going to be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming lockout situation. But you can help!

For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey Player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.


Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.


Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.


I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is (check below):

[ ] Forward [ ] Defenseman [ ] Goaltender [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute)

[ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)

Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along with an Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very own Bob Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA player's Union) pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

Your Name: _______________________

Telephone Number: ______________________ Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _______________________

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other

Signature: _______________________

'I'm not going to say i told you so, but i told you so!"
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Old 01-27-05, 17:38
MrPewty's Avatar
MrPewty MrPewty is offline
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Default Re: They need your help!

Hahahahahahahaha Great!
Old 01-28-05, 01:59
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Solange Solange is offline
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Talking Re: They need your help!

Sounds almost tempting, now I do have $20,835 extra each month once the bills are paid, but if I do this I would have to give up red expensice wine...

All for a good cause! :D Where do I sign up?
Old 01-28-05, 02:07
BoredOutOfMyMind's Avatar
BoredOutOfMyMind BoredOutOfMyMind is online now
Picabo, ICU
Join Date: Nov 2002
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Default Re: They need your help!

Do they accept paypal?

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not"
- The Lorax, Dr. Suess
Old 01-28-05, 12:47
be0's Avatar
be0 be0 is offline
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Default Re: They need your help!

Hey I sent my money but I havent received my monthly report yet
whats going on? :

I still miss my girlfriend however, my aim is improving.
Me Tuco Ramirez, brother of Brother Ramirez!
Are you sure?
Yup, I'm sure I'm sure.
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Old 01-28-05, 14:26
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beowulf beowulf is offline
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Smile Re: They need your help!

that's really good - i'm gonna have to send it to a friend who lives in minnesota and also happens to be a semi-pro hockey player!
Such was the wreck of the Hesperus,
In the midnight and the snow...
Christ save us all from a death like this,
On the reef of Norman's Woe.
Old 01-30-05, 13:13
Zulu-1's Avatar
Zulu-1 Zulu-1 is offline
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Default Re: They need your help!

shameless bump, i just thought more people should read this
'I'm not going to say i told you so, but i told you so!"
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