Jokes

Saving Grace

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports
They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off..

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said,…………………………………. “JESUS SAVES”

 

Amen, Brother!

 

Picture on the Nightstand

After a long night of making love, Jim notices a photo of
another man on Sharon's nightstand by the bed and he begins to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?"
he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.






"That's me before the surgery."

 

No thats in another chapter Ken3LOLLOL

 

Dont you just hate it when that happens ??
LOL Goodun.

 

Play on words.

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.


2. A will is a dead giveaway.


3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.


4 A backward poet writes inverse.


5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.


6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.


7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed


8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.


9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.



10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.


11. Although the guy fell onto an upholstery machine he’s fully recovered..


12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France; resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.


13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.


15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.


16. A calendar's days are numbered.


17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.


18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.


19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.


20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.


21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.


22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.


23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.


24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.


25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.


26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.


27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.


28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.


29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.

 

Guilty

A defendant was on trial for murder in Philadelphia. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."

He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."

Answered the jury foreman: "Oh, we did look. But your client didn’t."

 

I thought this was way too funny


Dragon
A Chinese man had three daughters, he asked his eldest
daughter what kind of man she would like to marry.

"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his
chest", said the eldest daughter.

He then asked his second daughter who she would like
to marry.

"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his
chest", said the second daughter.

He finally asked his youngest daughter who she would
like to marry.

The youngest daughter replies, "I would like to marry
a man with one draggin' on the ground".

 

Monogamy - the Why.....
One evening, after a discussion in social studies, my brother asked my
dad, "Why isn't a man allowed to have more than one wife?"

My dad's answer earned him a laugh from my brother and a night on the
couch, "Because the law protects those who are incapable of protecting
themselves."

 

Tail Off The Cat

This was in the News yesterday. A woman that live lives in Galesburg, IL, was weed-eating her lawn. She accidentally cut off the tail of her favorite cat. She immediately rushed her Cat along with the tail over to the new Super WalMart !

You might ask, why WalMart ?

(scroll down)



Do you really want to know?









Walmart is the largest retailer in town !

GROAN LOL

 

Drinking with a Redneck Girl

> A Mexican, an Iraqi, and a redneck girl are in the

> same bar.

> When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his

> glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots

> the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our

> glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with

> the Same one twice."

> The Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his

> beer, throws into the air, pulls out his AK-47,

> and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Iraq

> we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't

> need to drink with the same one twice either."

> The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her

> beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into

> the air, whips out her .45, and shoots the Mexican

> and the Iraqi. Catching her glass, setting it on

> the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, "In

> America we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs

> that we don't have to drink with the same ones

> twice."

 

One day Little Johnny came home from school with a note pinned to his shirt. The note read: Dear parent, apparently Little Johnny has been having some trouble with telling the difference between girls and boys. Please sit down with him and explain this. Signed, Little Johnny’s teacher.


After reading the note Little Johnny’s mom took him into her room and shut the door.


“Okay Little Johnny,” his mother said. “First take off my high heels. Then take off my panty hose. Then take off my dress. Now take off my bra and panties.

NOW NEVER WEAR MY CLOTHES TO SCHOOL AGAIN!"rolleyes

 

Dear All:

You crack me up. Good jokes and keep it up. I'm enjoying it.

Sincerely,
Mongooseba

 

Any more???

 

Breaking News....

Energizer Bunny charged with battery. Story developing.

 

Re: Breaking News....

http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/images/smilies/rimshot.gif

ba dum PISHHHHHHH

 

Re: Breaking News....

ahhahhahaha

 

Re: Breaking News....

Awful.

 

Re: Breaking News....

haha yea, it is. but after the day I've had it was one of those things that hit me just right. something so dumb it was hilarious!

 

Re: Breaking News....

Now being held in maximum security lock up waiting to be charged

 

Re: Breaking News....

Guess he didn't have any salt with him, then?

 

Re: Breaking News....

the full story.

http://img503.imageshack.us/img503/4574/imagespr3.jpg

Energizer Bunny Alleges Assault With Battery

ST. LOUIS, MO (AP)-Animal rights activists and environmentalist wackos rallied in the parking lot and thronged around the plant entrance of Energizer Holdings, Inc., home of the world famous Energizer bunny, to protest the unfair and inhuman treatment of the company's spokesrabbit.

For more than 2 decades the hapless rabbit has been forced to strap on an oversized bass drum and incessantly march around aimlessly beating the drum, at the same time contributing to excessive levels of noise pollution wherever the rabbit roams. This questionable advertising strategy thrust the battery baron into the neon glow of negativity, draining profits quite a bit quicker than the little drummer bunny drains the weighty dry cells strapped to its fragile body.

A SpoofNews investigation into the bunny's employment history yielded a sordid saga of substandard symptoms of abject abuse. Forced to appear at hi-vis events from convenience store openings to halftime performances at the SuperBowl, the rabbit has more overtime in a year than most Energizer executives in their entire careers. But even worse, the bunny was coerced into agreeing to be dyed pink to draw attention to the poor animal as an underhanded ploy to hawk Energizer's wares. If that's not enough, the rabbit has a morbid aversion to musical instruments, particularly those of the percussion persuasion. These facts alone shed a most unfavorable light on the manufacturer of mobile electrical power units.

While the bunny has refused numerous requests to be interviewed, those close to the mistreated mascot unanimously describe the aging animal as suffering from severe hearing loss, drummer's elbow and fallen arches from the countless miles he's traveled in his low voltage voyage. The rabbit has had to resort to wearing extra dark sunglasses, even at night, as his vision has been severely degraded by days on end without sleep. SpoofNews has also learned that, due to a bizarre stipulation of his employment contract, the bunny is obligated to stay pink and wear the bass drum at all times, even during the few and far between moments he collapses in total exhaustion for a never-long-enough nap.

Environmentalists are currently drawing up charges against Energizer, and by extension the bunny, for everything from indiscriminate rabbit droppings to haphazardly discarded dead double-a dry cells that they say are polluting the air and cluttering the highways and byways in the wake of the roaming rabbit.

This is not just a flash in the pan. Those on both sides of the animals in advertising arena claim this is but the tip of the iceberg. It won't be long before we see the current protest expanding to include the full range of commercialized critters. Today the Energizer bunny, tommorow the Geico gecko, the Budweiser Clydesdales, and MGM lion.
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

 

Bill, glad to see you back, nice picture too.

 

thanks Darlene i have had a traumatic few days i got wiped out with a really serious virus lost a lot of stuff but its coming back together

 

Yes I read you other post, so sorry did you get Vista?

 

HaHa think thats becoming every single (let's hope) mans nightmare.

 

Had me going there for a minute, sounds about right roflmao

 

Last Word

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!"

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the Hell is this??" he said to himself as a little "dust" cloud appeared when he shook them out.

"April," he hollered into the bathroom, "Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"

She replied with a snicker..."It's not talcum powder It's......




...... "Miracle Grow"!

 

Pain in the A$$


A bigshot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.

He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced,
"I have to take your temperature."
After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
"No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."
This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce,
"I have to get something. Now you stay right there until I get back!"
She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room
"What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answered,
"Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" After a pause the doctor confessed,



........................................."Not with a carnation."

 

Don't be Late


A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own words while they waited.

"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it.

He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and had done numerous other unspeakable acts.

Well I was appalled, but as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."...

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession."

 

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession."

........................................."Not with a carnation."


BC these would not be quotes from your new autobiography would they celebrateroflmao:kissmy:neener

 

LOL LOL
you guys really make me laugh!

 

Thanks to you for starting it to begin with abri :highfive

 

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking."

Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."

http://bestsmileys.com/thinking/6.gif

 

An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and the time had come to depart from this world.
After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she came to the conclusion that the quickest and surest method would be to shoot herself through the heart. The trouble was, she wasn't certain about exactly where her heart was, so she phoned her doctor and asked him. He told her that her heart was located two inches below her left nipple.

So she shot herself in the left kneecap.

ALSO

A Welshman, an Englishman and a Irishman were being chased by Farmer Giles with a shotgun. After 10 minutes of running they spotted a barn and ran inside.
Once inside they each hid in a old sack against the barn wall. The farmer went into the barn but did not see where they went, he was about to turn back when he saw three suspicious looking sacks. He walked forward and prodded the first sack with his gun. The Englishman inside said... ''Meow'.'

"Just cats," he thought.

He then prodded the second sack. The Welshman, hearing how the Englishman got off said... ''Woof'.'

"Just dogs," he thought.

As he walked towards the last sack, the Irishman worked out what he was going to say. As soon as the farmer prodded his sack he said... ''Potatoes!''

http://bestsmileys.com/farmer/1.gif

 

Picture on the Nightstand

After a long night of making love, Jim notices a photo of
another man on Sharon's nightstand by the bed and he begins to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?"
he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.

"That's me before the surgery."

 

I'm not going to tell him - LOL

 

When Pavarotti went up to the pearly gates he handed St.Peter a note from the Pope to give to God.
All it said was ( Here's this tenor I owe you.)





nb a tenner is UK slang for a £10 note

 

There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements. She wanted a man who...

1) would treat her nicely
2) wouldn't run away from her
3) would be good in bed.

Then, one day, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs.

"I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."

"Yes, but are you good in bed?"

"How do you think I rang the doorbell


and now


Our lager
Which art in barrels
Hallowed be thy drink
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk)
At home as it is in the tavern
Give us this day our foamy head
And forgive us our spillage
As we forgive those who spill against us
And lead us not into incarceration
But deliver us from hangovers
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and the lager
Barmen

http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/eatdrink050.gif

 

Kemo Sabe Dumb

Okay an "Oldy", but just saw it again today

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?

"The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"



......................"You dumber than buffalo chip. It mean someone stole tent."

 

A Foke(you'll get it)


I went to the US Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.

I said, "A folding bottle."

She said, "Okay. What do you call it?"

"A Fottle."

"What else do you have?"

"A folding carton."

"What do you call it?"

"A Farton."

She snickered and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."

I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.

 

For all my EU friends (abri you'll love it)

The European commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft"c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgrasful, and they should go away. By the 4th year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!!!

 

Jawohl Kamarad!

 

Hey Abri if we only knew that a few jokes posted back in 06/07/06 would have lead to a thread with over 60,000 views a little over a year later. Who says Geeks don't have a "Funny Bone"LOLLOL

 

Microsoft Tech Drafted

One of Microsoft Network's finest support techs was drafted into the Army and sent to boot camp.

At the rifle range, he was given some instructions, handed a rifle, and a couple rounds of ammo. He loaded the rifle and fired several shots at the target which was fifty yards away.

The report came from the target area that all of his attempts had completely missed the target.

The tech looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then once more at the target. He placed his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand.

The end of his finger was blown off -- whereupon he yelled toward the target area...

"It's leaving here just fine; the trouble must be at your end!"

 

To Be 6 Again...

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at
herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what
she'd like to have for her birthday.
"I'd like to be six again", she replied, still looking in the mirror..

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl
of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear,
the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours
later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her
stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with
extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn,
a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed
exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,
"Well Dear, what was it like being six again??"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my
dress size, you dumb ***!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it
wrong.

 

Having a bad day...



I rear-ended a car this morning...

I could tell; it was going to be a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!

He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"







That's how the fight started...

 

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he
hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you
ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."


Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the gator."

 

A man boards an airplane, and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat. A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Anxious to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "So where are you flying to today?"

She turns and smiles, and says, "To the annual Nymphomaniac Convention, in Chicago."

He swallows hard, and is instantly CRAZED with excitement. Here's the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting RIGHT next to him, and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "And what's your role at this convention?"

She flips her hair back, turns to him, locks onto his eyes and says, "Well, I try to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really" he says, swallowing hard. "And what myths are those?"

She explains, "Well, one popular myth is that African American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess this trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who romance women best, on average."

"Very interesting," the man responds.

Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed, and blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I feel so awkward discussing this with you, and I don't even know your name."

The man extends his hand and replies, "Tonto... Tonto Goldstein."

 

THE HUSBAND STORE
>
> A store that sells new husbands has just opened in Boston , where a woman may
> go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a
> description of how the store operates:
>
> You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the
> product increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any
> item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you
> cannot go back down except to exit the building!
>
> So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor
> the sign on the door reads:
>
> Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
>
> The second floor sign reads:
>
> Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
>
> The third floor sign reads:
>
> Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
>
> "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
>
> She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
>
> Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help
> with Housework.
>
> "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
>
> Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
>
> Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with
> Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Personality.
>
> She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on to the sixth floor and the sign
> reads:
>
> Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this Floor. There are no men on this
> floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
> Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
>
> To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner also opened a NEW WIVES STORE
> just across the street.
>
> The first floor has wives that love sex.
>
> The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
>
> The third through sixth floors have never been visited.