Rules of Computing

1) Thou shalt have a working antivirus.
2) Thou shalt not panic when thou computer shalt not boot.
3) Thou shalt not curse out the people who help thou.

 

Thou shalt always, always, always, try a reboot before thou callest tech support.

 

Thou shalt not use the CD tray as a cup holder, no matter what you thought Coke gave you in the 90's. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors computer.

 

Thou shalt not commit eDultery.

 

Thou shalt not complain of malware when thou watches lots of pornographic material and downloads warez.

Thou shalt do Windows Updates on a regular basis, unless thou doesn't even use Windows :-D

Thou shalt do regular backups.

Thou shalt not forget the compression settings in VirtualDub! (Unless thou intends for a humongous, uncompressed file...)

Thou shalt not open up a CRT monitor or a PSU.

 

Thou shalt not change thine color settings because you don't like blue screens.:-D

 

Thou shalt not keep floppy disks near magnets.

Thou shalt not use crappy commercial programs when there are better free alternatives.

Thou shalt not automatically believe a slow computer is due to malware.

Thou shalt follow the instructions in READ AND RUN ME FIRST.

 

Ahem. Allow me to correct that for you.

"Thou shalt give Tech Support a chance to show you what they know, before assuming they're idiots."

Take it from a tech support agent that does know, we hate being treated condescendingly because you "know" you know better than we do. It's a great way of making sure you don't get any help from us, actually.

 

Thou shalt Google before annoying others with thou's questions.

Thou shalt not try to repair a computer at 3 a.m. when thou is tired.

 

Thou shalt keep a sledgehammer nearby for threatening thou's computer when it is misbehaving.

 

or thou shalt get banned... againith

 

Thou shalt not get angry at people providing free tech support if their solutions don't work. Otherwise, thou may have to pay for professional service!

 

Thou shalt not use "password" as a password.

 

Thou shalt not believe all that thou bestow thine eyes upon in thine inbox or browser.

 

Thou shalt not kill a fly on an LCD monitor.

(Just did that. Yuck!)

 

Thou shalt NOT Spam.

 

Thou shall for it hast annoyeth thine self then thine wench annoyeth me for thrashing thine screen, so i shouteth at thine wench, and now i perish in hell forthwith (well at least for the next couple of hours or so) !
Now thine will seeath whom shall speaketh first !

 

Thou shalt drag thy sorry arse to the computer shop to purchaseth another PC as thou cannot get on to thy own due to the fruit of thy loins and thy wife hoggingest the one that you bought in the vain hope that thou wouldst be able to get onto it for more than twenty minutes of the day.

 

Thou shalt NOT defame a machine because of its age,for without it, the next generation would not have been possible.

 

Thou shalt not buy a computer on impulse.

 

Thou shalt buy a Mac and never have problems again

 

Thou shalt pay out the yazoo when said Mac that never breaks DOES break
(especially after spilling grape Koolaid on thine keyboard)

 

Thou shalt add up the cost of malware prevention , software conflicts, BSODs, hardware obsolecense, etc, borne by thy pc bretheren and considereth thyself lucky to only have to pay for a hardware issue once in the age of Methuselah.

 

roflmaoroflmaoroflmaoroflmao

Brilliant.

 

Thou shalt honour the ISP gods and reboot without snickering even when the external cable modem says there is no connection.:banghead


(great thread Aimee )

 

Alas, but I have 2 that have never failed

 

Thou shalt NOT desecrate thine machine with porn sites, for they are an abomination to thine hard drive.

 

^ ^ ^ ^

 

( The young can learn quick at times.)

 

Thou shalt not do a hard boot unless it is necessary.

 

I like this one. network admins have super powers. we see everything and we are everywherez.

 

well i do that anyway. i also make 'woosh' sounds when i enter a room.

 

well i know what im doing for halloween this year.
SS to the rescue!

woosh





:booger

 

Thou shalt not try to uninstall a program while it is running.

 

Unless thou ist Linus Torvalds