Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I'm not talking about the movie. I'm cleaning out my desk at the office here, and I pick up a tray in one of my drawers, out falls an envelope (see picture) that's been in hiding for nearly 7 years.

This envelope would have been from about 2 months into my relationship with this girl, so I can imagine it's pretty... mushy I guess.

Anyhow, I don't think I'm interested in opening it, it's not going to change my life, or make any other difference in the world.. I just don't know what to do with it. It's sort of pointless to throw it away after it's been avoiding that fate for so long.. Do I just hide it under my tray again? Maybe I'll put a note on it like "I found this once already in 2009." So I know in another decade that it's not so important.

I don't know how I didn't give it to her. I never forget things like that. I mean, I typed multiple pages, printed it out, got an envelope for it, typed on the envelope and stuck it in my drawer.

I think I'll make a poll, and let the people here decide. (Don't make me open it please.)

 

I would trash it

 

If I open it, I will post it. I'll make it a pdf or a jpg, whatever it has to be. But I want to have to open it by at least 3 votes.

 

I wasn't going for public humiliation when I initially started the poll, but I'm down for it. If it's possible to add that option as a mod, go for it. I'll even vote for it.

No one votes in these polls anyhow. LOL

 

I say open it there is your 3 votes:-D

 

I'll check this thread on Monday sometime, if the "Open it" votes outnumber the "Don't open it" options (by at least 3), I'll open it & post it.

 

Leave us hanging yea right LOL

 

LOL, my time at the office is winding down. I might be in here over the weekend. I just can't put the time into scanning and posting it right now. Monday I can commit to. Happy voting LOL (Oh boy!)

 

Exactly! I opted to vote for "open it, read it, then throw it away", because while I will definitely read it if it's posted, I'll get it if it isn't.

Funny thing for me...we were cleaning out the garage this summer and I found a box tucked away from when I moved in here that hadn't been opened in ten years. Inside were the letters from my ex-fiance when he was in the first Gulf War. Of course I read them all. Smiled and wondered what he's up to, and then tucked them back in the box to be found in probably another 20 years. LOL

 

Read it and post it!:drool

 

Yeah, and find her address and post it to her.... rolleyes

 

BURN IT. Period. If the relationship ended, the letter won't change it at all. Burn it and don't get caught up by the past.

 

TimW is correct, strange how she never brought up the letter in a conversation. As to what to do with it, I'm not going to pull an Ann Landers, the ball is in your court.

 

Yes, I agree with that Laura, read it, for sure!:-D Just READ it.... LOL

 

What's the matter with you women?:-D No wonder you all read romance novels.rolleyes I'm just wondering why Pax is agonizing over this?

 

Seven years?---Why torture your mind and soul?---It is obviously over---in my very humble opinion---don't pick open an old scab---it has already healed---let it be and continue moving on

 

Open it and post it here so I can laugh at you:-D

You'll lose man points for the content but you get man points for having the balls to leave yourself open to ridicule.

As someone who never been in Love I've always been fascinated with how people act when they are in love a soppy letter is a great example,its something I'd only do while my bloodstream was heavily laden with chemicals so that's what I've always assumed love is your body releasing natural chemical highs.

I wouldn't mind embarrassing myself with a soppy letter as long as I could experience what everyone else is talking about so in that sense I envy you.

 

If I'm understanding his original post correctly, it's a letter he wrote but never sent. Therefore, she knew nothing about it and couldn't have brought it up if she'd wanted to.

READ IT! LOL

 

Oopsie!:-o That's what I get for skimming.:-D Read it, have a laugh or a good memory and do what you want after. It really doesn't matter but it obviously does.

 

It's already a ghost, bury it.

 

Alright, I'm in the office putting things together, and there are some good points in this thread now, so I think I'll shed some more light on this subject. I need to go back 7 years. The girl I wrote this letter to was as much a best friend to me as anyone has ever been. We were friends for almost a decade before we started dating. That doesn't mean I know what's in the letter, though it was the start of our relationship, and was geared as something I was going to give her for Christmas, so it could be mushy. Also, she moved nearly 6 hours away from everything she knew when she and I got together, and was 18 years old. The start of our relationship was wrought with her missing the crap out of everyone, and everything she knew. The letter could be me telling her something like maybe you should go home for a while, but I can't remember ever thinking that, so I doubt it.

The contents of the letter do not matter to me. I'd publish it in the paper if it were as cheap as it would be to post it on here. Our whole experience with one another lasted from about maybe 1995-2004. When she left, it wasn't nice. I told her that once she was gone, that was it, no more contact, no reason for it. I wasn't interested in a friendship, I didn't have anything left for her in my life. I've done that to just about everyone. From 2004-today, we've maybe talked half a dozen times. There's still no reason for it, though I'd like to change. Not for her, or anyone in particular, but shutting people out of my life, I've come to realize isn't the most productive thing I could be doing. I trusted her more than a lot of people, maybe it makes sense to keep others where you can at least go for guidance.

I've been married and divorced(ing) since I wrote this letter, and she's got a little girl now. I don't know what her availability status is, I'm not interested. I just think I sort of stumbled on a time capsule, and if I'm interested at all in opening the letter, it's to see if I've changed in the last 7 years, or if I've always thought the same about other people, and just changed the name in the letters I've typed.

I'm going to open it. I'm going to post it. I just have to wait until Monday, it's packed in a box between offices at the moment. LOL

Though I'm clear about what I'm going to do, I hope the thread lives on, I'd like to come in Monday and post more like this. It's sort of liberating. I have a lot on my mind, and this one letter may help clear a lot of things up for me.

On a side note, I'm going to a dinner tonight at the Eagles in town.. I hope to win $500, wish me luck.

Oh also, I'd never send her this letter. It wouldn't be right, I don't want it to mean anything to me, I couldn't ask, or otherwise hint that it should mean something to her.

I hope you all are having a good weekend, I'll check in maybe tonight or tomorrow, and post more on Monday.

:wave

 

You also have a good week end :wave

 

Hmm, some interesting thoughts there Pax which most 18 year olds would probably never contemplate on.

 

Holy !@#&$ I opened it.

 

I have a lot of things to think about. I don't know that this is going to fit within the limits of the size it would have to be to post, but I'm going to attempt it right now. Alright, it didn't. I'll give it another shot on Monday, maybe 2 posts.. Maybe email it to a mod, and have them post it for me. If anyone knows how I can get this posted, PM me and let me know.

It's interesting. It's basically a journal to her from some time in October - November until the day after Christmas (when apparently we would have been alone together somehow, & I would have handed it to her to open and read)

I'm thinking I remember it.. Maybe it was a second copy. Maybe I lost this one, but did print it and give it to her, but I don't really REALLY remember. It wouldn't have made a difference in our lives though, separate or together. It's scanned, and back in hiding. I'll enjoy it again sometime, or someone else will find it and think I must be a loon.

I'll get it out here on Monday...

 

Hehehe, you know the gals will flog you for that eh?:innocent:-D Hey Pax, maybe print this thread out and store it with the letter for another looksee at your growth when you're getting into middle age. We might not agree on much but I can't fault anyone for being honestly introspective, tough thing to do.

 

I thinking the same.. I wouldn't post such personal stuff, that is quite private.. Let them wonder! LOL :-D Keep personal stuff, personal..

 

Most likely this will suffice.:drool

 

Absolutely. I already said it'd be up to you if you posted it or not, and while I'll surely read it if you do, it's not necessary. I'm just glad you decided to read it. :-D

 

I don't mind. I said I'd post it & I don't like to go back on my word. This thread will eventually die like the others that come and go here. I just ask that if it gets ignorant, the thread be locked. I'm not going to defend anything in this letter at all. I'm replacing names with *** (just for me)

I've changed a lot since I wrote that. I haven't just changed the names in my letters to people.

The reason I don't mind posting things like this (even in a form that would allow a guest access to it) is that though it's personal, it's also old hat. I talk to all the people in my life with the importance of a person who I expect to be around indefinitely. Those of you here who've had PM conversations with me can probably see that it's not one line here and there then forget who you are. Some members here I email regularly, some I PM when I have the time to commit to it, all (even when we don't agree on much if you meant me augie) are my friends, and if you came to me, I'd give you this kind of attention. For the record, sometimes I may disagree here, for the sake of the thread.

My relationship with this girl was a decent one. I have no regrets in my life, and though I don't think she's "the one that got away", we always talked like this, long emails, long conversations. That's what I miss with the people in my life now. I'm lonely.. Sometimes at my loneliest when I'm in a group of people.

Tomorrow is Monday, take what you can get from the rest of the weekend! I can't believe the hits on this thread, not often I post something so popular.

Criticize, or compliment.. Like I said, I make no defense, but will carry on through this thread as long as it warrants.

 

Your letter echos feelings of young love, intense, passion everlasting.
I've been there.
I'm sorry your lonely, I wasn't aware your going through a divorce. That is without doubt the worst time in ones life, next to a death.
Take Care

 

A very nice letter indeed Pax. There's not much more to say than that.

Of course man, some of the better friends I managed to find in later years started out as polar opponents.:-D We still disagree but it makes for an interesting evening over a game of poker and some single malt.

 

I have to say, that is a very good letter, Pax. You hit on some very good points... I only wish you the best in life, Pax, someday you will have it all.. Kinda like, "it will be worth the wait...."

You sure was head-over-heals for this gal I am sure it will happen again

 

Though I no doubt wrote this letter from the heart, I'm not happy with it. I mean, it's a mess (almost like I was pleading with myself). As for the best in life, I suppose one finds just that, every day. It's the days that string together with the same "bests" that become the most memorable.

I went bowling last night with a few long time friends, friends I hadn't spent any time with recently, and it was a definitive "best" in recent memory.

Also, Saturday night I was the DD for a group of people at a dinner in town & was listening to people talking. I heard how this one girl was dating a guy she'd been friends with for several years. They'd dated and had it not work, salvaged a friendship & eventually now are dating again. That's the kind of thing that just blows my mind. For me, it's always been one place in my life, and that's it. I've dated strangers, & kept my friends, friends.

It's hard for me to meet people (especially women) with that mindset. I wouldn't want to meet this amazing girl who I'd love to date, & make her a friend. To me, that's where she'd stay. Also, If we did date & it didn't work out.. typically at the end of the relationship, I'd also be out that amazing friend. I don't know if that's exactly normal, but growing up, it worked well for me.

I like that I have friends that I'd not date. I've had some knock down drag out feel good about myself scraps with them.. And been back at the house the next day (sometimes same day) where if I was in a relationship with them, something like that would make me question things. I think too much, and too deeply about a lot of things, but that's something I'm not yet willing to sacrifice, maybe just refine.

The six years leading up to this letter, where 6 years of talking about dating, how we should do it & we'd be married forever & all that jazz. 6 years of building a strong friendship, building trust beyond anything. 6 years having someone to tell absolutely anything to. 2 years of dating, and she's been completely gone for 7. It was worth it. You don't come out of something like that without learning, unless you went in with your eyes closed.

I will and have been better. Darlene, thanks for the kindness. Though a divorce is not the best thing in the world, I hope that not only I, but all others involved come out better than we went in. For me, it just didn't work. I'm definitely not going to go into another relationship for some time, but when I do I want all my personal demons to be at bay.

If you've seen "27 Dresses" where they sing that song "Benny & the Jets" that encompasses everything I want my life to be like. I'm alright with waiting.

Here's a horrible clip of the scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDhQ7lMF9zk

(I don't know if it's the situation, or Katherine Heigl holy smokes)

 

Yeah, Digitalocksmith has it down to pat there.. You have to heal first, and then get on with your life. A divorce isn't the end of the world, but the closing of a door, and you have to open a new one Pax.. There is still a world out there, and I am sure there is someone for you too

Hang in there, life isn't fair, but ya gotta play the hand you are dealt... Know when to hold them, know when to fold them... You will be fine