Why do people have to suck so much?

I'm not supposed to post details, but my niece and her husband are fostering three kids (in the process of adopting) because they were taken away from their birth parents AND grandparents for a wide variety of reasons. The kids are 4, 2, and 1.

The birth father found out where they live today. They are now living with an armed police officer in the house until they can find a new place to live.

What the (insert appropriate expletive here) is WRONG with people that they can be such a threat to their own children's safety and the safety of the people who have given them a stable, loving home that they have to live with a police officer in the house 24/7?????

 

He can't be arrested (again...yeah, again) until he actually does something. This is the first time in nine months he's found out who my niece and her husband are or where they live, and it was a fluke. They didn't have a restraining order per se, but the deal was he wasn't allowed to know anything about them including what they look like. There may be one now...like it'll make a difference.

I'm just worried now that this will screw up the adoption. Those are OUR kids now, dammit. I don't care how many appeals he tries, there are several really good reasons they were taken away from their birth parents.

The kids were doing GREAT up until now, too! Happy, healthy, giggling and playing like kids are supposed to...gah. I'm so livid and scared and worried and furious I don't know what to do.

 

Have you or they ever seen the birth father to know for a fact that this is him?

 

We've never seen him, but they have been given a picture of him to watch for. He hasn't been there yet (that we know of). But his best friend was visiting next door and recognized the kids this morning. Couple that with the history involved (which I won't go into), it's only a matter of time before he tries something.

They no longer have a live-in policeman, by the way. But they are getting drive-by officers 4-5 times an hour.

 

Hi Sgt. Tibbs, that is an awful situation for the kids, and your niece. :cry I agree with Laura, ANY crime against a child is totally unforgivable. It is heinous, and I doubt very much if the 'father-in-blood-only' is even playing with a full deck.

I sure do hope they have a dog, too. That guy's type does most of their crap in the night. So, a dog would at least alert them to call the police. At this point, I would suggest getting one, even if it is from the pound, just have them put it on a tie out, at the door, so anyone coming around at night, he will bark.. No, do NOT trust him.. :mad

Hang in there, Sgt. Tibbs, none of us want to see those kids hurt. Sounds like the 'father-in-blood-only' is quite capable of anything at this point. I also hope they do get a restraining order like real SOON, and if he comes anywhere near them, he is jail-bound!!! Nail him to the wall. Yeah, I know his type very well. :mad

 

Had to delete and retype my post here several times, so it would be acceptable to the Forums. First off Sgt. Tibbs, I think your niece and her husband are doing a great thing to Foster, and hopefully adopt some children, especially the situation that they were in.

Now, about said biological 'father'.... Well, let me stop there, and just say any adult that would try to hurt a child is a sorry POS!

It is nice to see that there are still people like your niece that will take in children in need, and also nice to see an extended family that is willing to help. In all the bad, there is some good here as well.

Best of wishes to them.

 

Best friend, i bet he hasn't told his BEST FRIEND ! half the :crap he's done to the kids, oh no he'll have stood there and :cry and said " they've took my kids of me " and made himself look like MR Goody Two Shoes, so now his BEST FIEND thinks he's the one to be sympathised with :mad!

:*** Pond life ! Pond life ! Thats all he is Tibbs !

Like TeeCee said, get yourself a big mental dog ! In fact, get a big mental dog make an effigy of him torture the dog with the effigy of him and then it will tear him apart on sight !

 

I hope everything works out for you as well Tibbs. I have no respect for those who harm children, or anyone unable to defend themselves. People like this man should be killed, by anyone, anywhere without repercussion.

I honestly believe that if you're going to implement a correctional institution program, like we have in the United States, you ought to only put those into the system, that you plan on letting out.

Don't waste my time telling me that people like Charles Manson, or Timothy McVeigh should be part of the same correctional program as someone hit with their second DUI charge, not that they are cell mates or anything..

Lesser crimes should absolutely get jail time.. Violent crimes, should all end in execution.

 

Agree with Paxy and Fred.
TC is correct, this lot create problems at night, once bolstered by achohol etc.
If the cops are doing a drive by - fine. But a restraining order is called for.

Since the cops seem to consider the situation urgent - the court would too.

He needs to be reminded by a court why he lost his kids - and the consequences of trying to get close again.

All the best.

 

It's ironic. In order to legally drive, you need to take lessons, pass a test, etc.

In order to be a parent, well, you know what's required for that.

I'm definitely not advocating licensing parenthood, it just seems odd that for the lessor responsibility, there is so much more required.

Put him away, melt the key.

 

The number of sicko's in the world seem to be on the increase or is it just being reported more??

I realize a lot of us just can not understand how anyone can harm a child, I have a daughter who has now grown into a beautiful woman and is a very caring person.

She works as a doctor in a very large hospital and says that it is unbelievable how many young children come in with broken bones and say they have fallen or run into a door when it is obvious to the trained eye that the break could not have occurred this way.

I would personally break a bone or two in the perpetrators just to let them know how it feels to be assaulted by someone bigger and stronger.

In a perfect world there would be always sweetness and light but in the real world there are some dark recesses where these animals reside.

Mans inhumanity sometimes knows no bounds !!!

 

People who have children, then treat them badly, shouldn't have them in the first place, and if they have one child and treat that child bad, then they should be made to have surgery to prevent them from having any more, and , have the first child taken from them, and people who dominate their authority upon people who are defenseless should be killed.

Just like Pax says " People like this man should be killed, by anyone, anywhere without repercussion " and the killer rewarded for good duties to society and mankind !

 

Hopefully the SOB goes to jail before he can get close enough to the children or your family. Inmates don't like child abusers either.

 

Thank you all very much! It's been a scary couple of days, for sure. Things have calmed down a touch, thank goodness. The running theory is he won't try anything until he loses his appeal, which could be another six months. They fully expect to be living in a home of their own as opposed to renting within a month or two at most, so until then they'll be having obvious, increased police presence in the complex and a speed-dial option on the off chance they need it. Apparently part of the court decision was that he is no longer allowed to see or talk to the kids again, so while it's not an actual restraining order it counts as if it is should he show up.

They do have a dog...just adopted a pit bull puppy about three weeks ago, in fact. :-D He's still young, but he's already fiercely loyal to the kids even moreso than my niece and her husband. She told me last night she has a vision of her in a deathmatch with this guy while the dog guards the kids without helping her at all. LOL

We just hope he's not out doing coke and meth with his friends one night and decides it's a good idea to come "visit" his kids. At this point we don't think he'd harm them, but anyone else in the house is fair game for keeping them from him. Family and friends are staying with them in shifts for extra eyes (my turn is Sunday night to Tuesday night), and we've got all sorts of security and other measures in their townhouse. Windchimes are decorative as well as a great warning system!

The townhouse complex offered to move them to an empty identical three-bedroom which is a whopping THREE doors down from where they are. They declined. rolleyes And they're going to charge them $1200 to break their lease, because apparently the police telling them their lives are in danger was not a good enough reason to do so. (Insert expletive here) corporate BS!!!

 

A good security measure, I can't remember which movie I saw it in, is to take an empty glass (beer) bottle without the lid, and stand it upside down on a door knob. The slightest wiggle from outside will send the bottle smashing to the ground (unless it would land on carpeting I suppose.)

Also, chairs really do hold a door shut if you prop them up under a knob, I do this to my aunt at the office all the time. LOL

 

When it's ok or safe to do so getting the local media involved usually makes a big change in wrong decisions. Being exposed for a greedy a$$ can do wonders for doing the right thing. Shame some people have to be forced.

PS, things happen when you least expect it so never believe things have calmed down, stay on alert.

 

Have you seen the movie Enough? Well, in regard to restraining orders, it doesn't physically stop them from coming after you. I mean, they'll hold up in a court of law, sure, but what happens when they decide to come over anyway? Do you crumple the restraining order up and throw it at them, hoping to knock them unconscious? And he probably isn't be arrested because, although his history may make him a danger, he probably hasn't done anything illegal recently. If he actually did something, then yeah, he could be arrested.

 

My god, is that you in you avatar? You're beautiful.

 

Any time you have to go so far as to get a restraining order you most assuredly need a 12 gauge to back it up.





LOL we just lost Pax

 

You mean the "Killer" eyes? :confusedrolleyes

 

I haven't gone too far away... But I couldn't not mention it... Not to fear Darlene! Enough of my shenanegans though. I'll chime in more tomorrow when I have a keyboard. BTW, the quote above sent vegetable soup toward my nose. Thank goodness for carrots!

 

"The townhouse complex offered to move them to an empty identical three-bedroom which is a whopping THREE doors down from where they are. They declined. And they're going to charge them $1200 to break their lease, because apparently the police telling them their lives are in danger was not a good enough reason to do so. (Insert expletive here) corporate BS!!!"

That is some BS. Perhaps with a statement from the police, and a friendly lawyer, you might easily convince them to not charge.

 

>_> Lol! Yes, that's me. And thank you. That's really nice of you to say.

 

I like your pointing out the bad side of a restraining order KK... It's true that if someone is intent on hurting you, they're not going to deflect their thinking because you have a piece of paper that says they're not allowed to.

I think the only way they are any good, is to tally someone up for the three strikes & you're out rule. Suddenly, that piece of paper, can send someone to the clink for a decade, just for knocking on the door a few times.

I stand by my original thought. If you commit a violent crime, you should die. There is no further use in having you around. Figuring these people out, also becomes a lot less important, when all we're doing is killing them, too.

 

I'm off to go stay with them for a couple of days. There's a VERY combative and protective part of me that almost hopes he tries something while I'm there. As long as he's inside the house and it is well-established that he is a threat I shouldn't get in too much trouble if something happens to him, right? :boxing :guns :innocent

 

Good luck, hope nothing happens. No matter what kind of scum he is some things would be hard to live with.

 

I know...but a girl can dream, right? :-D

 

Hey, Tibbs.
It will be self-defense, won't it?
Make him :cry for everybody.

 

in all seriousness if you dont use a weapon or stop him from running away, theres nothing for him to use in court really.

if you use a weapon check your state laws, they get a bit technical

 

As stated, the laws vary in different states. Don't shoot if they are running away. And if for some reason you do have to defend yourself, always say you simply shot to stop. Never anything like 'I killed that SOB.'

Hope everything goes well!

 

In PA you can only defend a house you live in.

 

Absolutely! Just make sure he falls INSIDE the door

 

In California you can be arrested for booby trapping for an intruder to injure themselves, now that's pretty high on my "wrong list"

 

Darlene, I think it would depend on what is considered a "booby trap"... Now, if you set up bear traps, that might be considered a "booby trap"... However, if one was to leave a few rakes out, or kids toys out on the floor, and the intruder tripped on them, how would that be considered intentional? Michigan has good laws when it comes to these types...

 

Michigan’s Castle Doctrine Law:

http://www.ammoland.com/2009/08/03/michigans-castle-doctrine-law-and-you/

 

It most definitely would have to be something to cause bodily injury, although someone like a mailman might consider toys to be that. LOL

I keep hoping when I see this thread in my email it will say the jerk was locked up.

 

Because to some people children are a meal ticket from the federal government.
Seriously, I've heard conversations where people discuss the break even point on how many kids you can have and how much more you can make a month if you have another kid.
Lose the custody, lose the funding.

Personaly, I'd discharge the Police officer, it's better if there are no witnesses.

 

Not meaning to start an argument here but that's a really awful thing to say about people who foster children.
I personally knew a family who did that and believe me the husband had a good paying job or they could have never done it on what the state gave them.
There are people in it strictly for the welfare of the children. It's heartbreaking what some babies go through, I consider them all babies until they're able to take care of themselves.
People also say the same thing about welfare. I was on Welfare when my children were very small for over a year and believe it's no way to live. You can't!
I for one say bless Sgt. Tibbs family for taking on such a responsibility and sticking it out even after the threat of danger. We need more brave people like them in this "ME" world. Bless them and Keep them safe

 

Darlene I think Fw190 was referring to the "blood" father who is trying to get his children back.Not that will happen .

 

I have returned from the trenches. All is quiet on the Western front. He hasn't tried anything, and supposedly he hasn't actually been told where the kids are (which we're taking with a large grain of salt).

As for booby traps...you should see the amazing variety of things that get propped in front of the windows and doors when they go to bed at night. And kids' toys? Shoot...they've got three toddlers...there are toys scattered hell to breakfast at all times. I was afraid to walk through the house without a light on! LOL

Heightened security has become part of the routine, and vigilance is the rule of the day. :-D

I was mostly joking about doing something (mostly). Although had he tried anything while he was there I would have fought with everything I have to the death to protect my family. You can't look at three adorable children who came into the family nine months ago afraid to make eye contact who now snuggle on the couch with us and giggle when they're tickled and not know that you will gladly tear someone's throat out with your teeth if they are a threat to them. We don't have guns, but I wield a mean crutch. :-D

 

Hi Sgt. Tibbs, I am glad to hear that. Especially that the kids are doing so well. I hope that keeps up. Nice with the toys, as it is hard to have little munchkins without toys! LOL Why, that would be a crime:-D

You hang in there, we are all behind ya. I have ZERO tolerance for anyone who hurts kids myself.. I think they have to come from a very weird place in the first place.

Just glad to hear all is well. Keep it up!!!

 

Sooo... anytime you want to borrow a sword, you just let me know. Just make sure there's absolutely no trace elements of human blood on it when you return it.

 

Also, for 999 extra yards of protection, you could borrow my AK-47... Though, nothing says, I'm going to kill you, and enjoy it, like a sword. haha.

 

You and your family are heaven sent to those babies. That kind of protective instinct is what parents should have. Unfortunately animals do a better job then some people.


PS - by booby trap, was talking about something that could do great bodily harm if someone crossed a threshold. Sounds like a pretty good idea to me rolleyes

 

What can I say Tibbs? Been there a couple of years ago, but moved house and state twice to stay away from Birth Parents and large family who did not agree with their child being taken away from them. They could not understand, as both parents have mental health problems,alcoholic and drug issues. To them,they are doing no wrong and we the foster parents were the bad people as well as the authorities We adopted after many difficult obstacles were overcome. Written that last word in bold because you will get through this


The threat that you are under just goes to reinforce the necessity to move these kids away and will probably move the authorities to push the adoption through quicker.

There are a lot of sensitive areas where children are concerned when fostering with a view to adoption as you will know, and loads of experts telling you this and that. Our main objective was protect the child and we got there in the end.

All the best

G

 

So...fingers crossed!!!

The "father's" appeal date is February 2. The adoption worker fully expects him to fail, and told my niece and her husband they'll be ready for adoption in 4-6 weeks. After which they are getting the hell out of Dodge and moving closer to the rest of the family, because they will no longer be under the "you have to stay in this county" rules.

With any luck at all, they'll be ours and out of his reach forever by the middle of March at the latest!!!!!

 

Hi Sgt. Tibbs, will keep fingers crossed, toes crossed, whatever it takes! Do keep us posted, that sounds like GOOD news!

 

all the best!!