Installing a Husband

:roflmao

The missus has nagging 5.3 on a constant loop.
The farting and snoring loudly Beta is the application that normally opens this programme.

LOL

 

Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to
> Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program
> began unexpected child processing that took up
> a lot of space and valuable resources. No
> mention of this phenomenon was included in the
> product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0
> installs itself into all other programs and
> launches during system initialization,
> where it monitors all other system activity.
> Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken
> Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
> longer run, crashing the system whenever
> selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
> the background while attempting to run some of
> my other favorite applications. I am thinking
> about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
> uninstall does not work on this program.
> Can you help me, please!!!
> Thanks, A TROUBLED USER

Dear TROUBLED USER:
This is a very common problem men complain
about but is mostly due to a primary
misconception. Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea
that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES &
ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its
creator to run everything. It is unlikely
you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate
Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is
impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge
the program files from the system once
installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do
this. Some have tried to install
Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more problems than the original system.
Look in your manual under
"Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal
with the situation. I suggest installing
background application program C:\YES DEAR to
alleviate software augmentation. Having
Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest
you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that
might occur, regardless of their cause.
The best course of action will be to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE.
In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR
because ultimately you will have to give
the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system
will return to normal. The system will run
smoothly as long as you take the blame for all
the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but
very high maintenance.
Consider buying additional software to improve
the performance of Wife 1.0.
-- I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.
Do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not
a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
likely to cause irreversible damage to the
operating system.
Best of luck.
Tech Support.

 

If wife runs the
* Cooking 3.0 and
* Hot Lingerie 7.7.
I run Hoover 6.6 application all day everyday and then we're both running smooth, if not then limited memory kicks in ! :-D

 

They're all good!:-D

 

Hmm.... sometimes it is best not to upgrade :-D

Shelagh

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azagLmoboC0


*walks away* LOL

 

Loved them all.

to Rusty
If wife or girlfriend looks good in hot lingerie, I agree with you on the Hoover.
(And it wouldn't be memory kicking in).

 

That is a hoot, Laura! roflmao roflmao roflmao :-D

I do think Shelagh has nailed it tho, best not to upgrade:-D
He might end up needing Nurse Ratchet 5.0! roflmao roflmao

 

Obviously there's only one thing to do in these situations.

Switch to Mac.

 

Wouldn't be much different from this side. Confusing interface, prone to sudden shifts of functionality, but at least the package looks nice.



JOKING. SERIOUSLY. *dives into bunker*

 

Instead of upgrading you'd be forced to switch out the entire thing for a newer and more powerful, better looking, model.

Yeah, you're right. Who'd want that? :-D

 

Powerful...sure, but it's gotta be slimmer and trimmer than my old model. I'm running Wife 29.0.

(Am I in trouble for saying that?)

 

Only if she finds out.

 

See, I am running a very old OS.

Single 0.0.1a beta and not had very many issues what so ever. See no need to upgrade as that might require hardware upgrades that I just don't have the time or desire to do.

 

YES!! :strong

I'm trying to upgrade to 5.5 :-D

Good find Laura, will be sending that to a few people lol

 

On a related note... I just got the call today that my divorce is FINAL! Husband, uninstalled.

 

Well, do you need to clean out the registry making sure there are no traces?

 

Don't forget to empty the recycle bin! That is important too! Don't want any little leftover "parts" lying around! roflmao roflmao

Congrats, Pax

 

Be sure to delete the empty folder under Programs as well, to get rid of any user config files.

Congratulations!

 

Uh, hum, "Heyyou", that is a GREAT way to become a subject for Mimsy's new gift. She has it named, you know, so language like that, well, might force her to bring it out.. And use it. rolleyes

(You might want to re-phrase some of those words :innocent)

 

If you're talking about Black Lotus, he's in use already... I'm typing this post on his smooth warm keyboard. :cloud9

If you're referring to Valentine... well... I'd prefer not to soil my new blade on vermin like this. I'd rather have a worthy target than some poor attention-seeking anonymous figure who has no idea how to make bad jokes.

 

Either or :-D OK, I'll let this one off the hook this time!