U.s.p.e.s.t

:cry:cry:cry
Person on phone, Tony do you know the number of anyone in the area I can call to have a quick (HA HA) look at my computer.
Me idiot that I am, Why what’s wrong?
Person on Phone, Its gone all funny and takes ages to do anything.
Me, OK what windows are you using.
Person on phone, Triple glazed none reflecting float glass.
Me, coughing to avoid sounds of laughter hurting her ears.
Me, no pet, what does it say when you switch it on.
Person on phone, it doesn’t say anything I’ve switched the speakers off.
Me, OK pet never mind, have you done anything to it recently.
Person on phone, I gave it a good clean yesterday.
Me, good girl (She’s about 60) well done.
Person on phone, there’s not a speck of dust anywhere.
Me, gripping a rolled up sock between my teeth, I’ll be round in about an hour.
1 hour later.
Oh Tony thanks you for coming.
3 hours, 4 cups of tea, and several fairy cakes later I leave clutching a Victoria sponge cake to my chest, vowing to form

U.S.P.E.S.T. ​

The Universal Society for the Prevention of Exasperating and Superfluous Toolbars.

 

One in every crowd, and we had to get you.:-D
Seriously though, how did that sock taste?:confusedrolleyes


Enjoyed the laugh,now got to go.

 

Very funny!! roflmao roflmao

Is she for real?

 

Title edited to say U.P.S.E.T

j/k:-D

 

Salty

 

Hi Tony! Nice to see the sense of humor back! LOL! Good one, too!

 

I support this organization! How do I join? :highfive

 

Hoping Tim doesn't read this.
Tony talking about cakes.rolleyes
Tim will be wanting to join also.:-D:-D

 

Hi Mimsy,:wave you can get your membership of USPEST but first you must be affiliated to the T.C.G.T.F A membership fee of $20,000.00 must be paid in advance, Cheques must be made out in the full name of the organisation, which is as follows. The TONY COLLINS GIN AND TONIC FUND verification of membership will be forwarded on clearance of payment. Bye :wave

 

Take Paypal over there???????:-D:-D:-D

 

Well, if you're not accepting wire transfers, then I'm afraid this isn't going to work.

 

Yeah, I just cleaned up one that had at least 5 tool bars and 3 anti virus programs running, ran like a piece of you know what.

And this was from a former student of mine!

Just shows what a great teacher I am. :-o:-o

But she has since relayed messages 3 times as to how good her computer runs now, which was what I thought I was teaching in the first place.

 

This is true honestly.

Friend, Tony, can you put Microsoft Office on my laptop for me.
Me, Certainly Mike I’ll be round later, but why not do it yourself, stick the disc in and follow the instructions.
Friend, Can you do it Tony I’ll make a mess of it.
Me, not to be caught out by the double-glazed Windows again, what version of Microsoft Windows is on your machine,
Friend, Its Windows 7, I finished work last week and they gave me a laptop.
Me, how big is it Mike.
Friend, about 17” x 12”
Me, sorry about this Mike, I’ve got to go, a pterodactyl just flown off with the cat.

:cry:cry:cry:cry:cry

 

LOL I remember the first time I wanted to install Office on my first computer. I asked a friend to do it as well, because I was afraid I'd screw it up. He rolled his eyes and told me it would cost a six pack and a fifth of tequila. LOL

 

Well...I showed up with the alcohol, so I didn't really learn much that night.... LOL