Why hurt children ?

I know that we have been told by the mods that they're sick of reading sad and depressing threads, but this has been enlightened by looking through my latest headlines in Firefox today, where there are three incidents !

Why is it every other day here in the UK i buy a newspaper and read that someone has beaten or smothered their child/children to death, whats wrong with people today, i mean if you don't want the kids then don't have them, or on the other hand, give them to someone who does want them, better still give them to someone who can't actually conceive, and would give their right arm for a child, don't get me wrong i know all about depression and having a breakdown but i wouldn't, not for all the money in China, hurt my or anyone elses children, they are too precious, and they're the future but first and foremost they're human !

Please remove this thread mods if you think it inappropriate !

 

Yup sick people in the world,news only broadcasts bad stuff yada yada yada...:tired

There's no difference between parents of today and parents of the past,well parents of today treat their kids better.

 

Disagreement. There is a difference, and that is that whatever the parents do, it's all over the internet within an hour... rolleyes

 

I think saying parents in general from any era did or did not treat their kids "better" or "worse" is just silly. Not all parents are good, and not all parents are bad. Things like that went on in EVERY era, it's just that in this one we have global communication and 24-hour news channels.

 

Also, to answer the question in your subject line, I can think of plenty of reasons to hurt other people's children. They all involve said children being ill-mannered, poorly supervised, very loud and obnoxious, and every single time it makes me want to tell the parents of the little monsters that if my dog behaved like that in public, he would be taken from me and shot... so why does your creature there get away with it?

 

I agree. Well said Mimsy.

 

I've been saying for many years now, I think much of the problem of kids off the rails or bad parenting simply comes from many families having both parents working full time jobs and not supplying proper attention to the kids.

There is never an excuse to inflict damage to a child, I say damage instead of pain because getting clip round the ear or a smack on the arse is a little different, I'm quite sure I'm not the only one here who had that happen and didn't/hasn't been effected by it.
Also the abolision of corporal punishment was a bad idea all round I think, you see those who beat the crap out of thier kids.... still do, evident of this thread, but those like my father who would smack the backs of my legs or my arse for whatever reason have no longer the heavy duty threat control, what do kids get now?... grounded.... Oooo, scary.

I remember being at work with my father and another guy who brought his 13 y/o son to work for the summer, his son was typical, argumentetive etc, they got in a row, the kid said some pretty brave things, the guy slapped him across the face (deserved I thought), the kid turns round and says "You can't do that, I'm gonna sue you".... so the guy whacks him again and says "I better get my moneys worth then" :-D priceless.

But yeah, kids I think are harder to control for many reasons, 2 listed in this post.... still remains that actual harm/damage is never acceptable.

Agree totally with Jack's OP.

 

One of my co-workers came in to work the other week and wanted me and the other gamers in the department to help him set pricing on a PS3 and 20+ games. He wanted it at a price point where he would be guaranteed they would sell, but still didn't want to be ripped off.

Apparently neither smacking or grounding worked on his 16-year old, so he decided to hit the kid where it hurts. The way he described it was, grounding ends and bruises heal, but the pain of watching your dad sell the gaming console it took you over a year of saving your allowance for, that pain lasts forever.

As a gamer, I am horrified by this cruel and sadistic plan. As a fellow mature adult, I applaud and support his refusal to compromise the part of parenting that involves teaching the kid about decisions and consequences. So I helped researching the local Craigslist and setting a good price, and also bought a couple of the games, to help him set the plan in motion. :-D

 

Similarly, Mimsy...a friend of mine has two kids, who have the obnoxious habit of breaking things around the house that are not theirs. One day she'd had quite enough after her favourite lamp shattered. She made them each pick out their favourite toy, and then she took said toys out on the patio and proceeded to smash them with a hammer in front of the kids.

Traumatic? Yup. Against some rule or another? Most likely. Have her kids broken ANYTHING that wasn't theirs since? Nope.

 

Ill mannered children are a direct result of bad parenting, a little chastisement goes a long way.

People who beat on children are in the same league as pedophiles and should be subject to a good beating themselves.

If the world was a perfect place children would be well behaved but sadly it is not so and sometimes they need a smack to remind them that they must not misbehave.

I related a story in anther thread (forgot which) when i was about 13 or 14 the local police Sgt caught me smoking (they still patrolled on foot then) and he gave me a slap around the ear but that was better than taking me to my father, If that were to happen today that Sgt would probably loose his job/pension and have a court appearance.

The kids today know that there is no price to pay for bad behavior so i suppose it's our fault.

 

Agreed, on most of the above posts. Whereas I agree that any lasting pain, (physical or psychological) is abuse, children still need to be taught that there are consequences, (of the bad type) for unacceptable behaviour. Likewise, (and this impacts way more on the child than the (-)ve), good and desirable behaviour and goals are met with good consequences/rewards.
That's what schools used to teach, besides literacy and academic skills, social skills and conformation of the group as well as conforming to authority. Sadly, that is no longer the case. Now its belligerence will get you everywhere. Yeah, riight rolleyes. I'm over 50, and I still have to conform to the laws of society and the laws of the land, or else face a consequence I don't want.
Most parents are good parents and good people - they are the ones we don't hear about, because basically it's boring news.
As TimW so rightly said, you can chose to focus on the bad and get bent out of shape by it, because the only change that will occur is a depressed and frustrated life for yourself. Or you can be a bit more upbeat, (yes there is plenty of good stuff still in the world, if we stop whining for long enough).
I'm one that's given up on the news, apart from basically being informed, because crime, wars and politics don't thrill me, and never will. I have better things to do, i.m.o.

 

When I was a child growing up, we were not permitted to behave like children do today.
If we misbehaved, we got a spanking.
If we deserved one in school, we got another when we got home for getting one at school.
Glad to say that my brothers and sister learned early what was appropriate and right.
We were taught respect for people and property.
There were no Police or CPS called.
Things started going downhill when they removed Corporal Punishment from the schools.
Reinstate it, let the children learn the "old school" methods. If you can now find the teachers with the "Grapefruits" to put it into action.

 

Maybe i should of put this to poll, because, all in all, we all think the same way, that discipline starts at home with the parents, and a little discipline now and again in an appropriate way, whatever that way is, didn't and hasn't harmed anyone !

@ TimW, I did say that if anyone of the mods thought this subject inappropriate, delete it, as i know these subjects do become a little overwhelming here in the lounge, and i apologise now for bringing this subject up !

Thats my final say on the matter !

Rusty !

 

Phantom (i.m.h.o.), has made some sound comments.

We have progressively moved on from the days of “Oliver Twist” – mainly due to the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child and applicable to those countries that have signed a declaration and agreed to the Articles therein. Countries (like Australia) who signed a Declaration also have/are/intend to/are considering implementing those Articles for the rights of children into applicable legislation.

Re Corporal punishment:

In many countries and jurisdictions, CP has been abolished because of its abuse by those incapable of knowing correct boundaries between proper physical discipline and straight out physical/psychological abuse due to taking corporal punishment to an extreme…writers from above Posts appear to understand this difference.

While corporal punishment has been abolished from Australian schools, some of our States allow a minor form of CP by parents/guardians to their children. Needless to say, one is not allowed to break a kid’s neck by violent shaking of a child; or dislocating a kid’s shoulder by violently pulling on a kid’s arm, etc, etc.

Logically, where corporal punishment subjects a child to torture and deprivation of liberty, this too goes against the UN Convention Article 37.

Children and young people are protected from neglect and abuse (according to Article 19 of UN Convention). Where children are capable of forming their own views, they also have the right to express and have these views heard (Article12 of UN Convention). If proper manners in expressing such views are not used, then this is what gets all of us annoyed with children and youth.

And yes, children need to be taught manners…but what we often forget is what children see, children do. So where are children getting their examples from? And how positive are those examples?

Re behaviour:

Dependent on country / jurisdiction, laws (at least in Australia) dictate processes to be implemented regarding adverse behaviour by staff, students and parents, and implementing these processes often falls upon a school Principal to review with staff, parents and students what is to be documented as a form of “contract” with consequences if rules of behaviour are not abided.

Through these processes, complainants (i.e. staff or student or parent) can continue to escalate their complaint if unsatisfied with decisions.

Normally, it is expected that complaints lodged with the Principal should be adequately managed at that level, but there is still opportunity to escalate if the complainant is not satisfied with an outcome. Escalation will go onto an Executive level (sometimes it may be an Education Board), and it can still be continued if required according to the State's legislative level.

The primary responsibility for a child’s up bringing lies with their parents or legal guardians. (Article18 of UN Convention). However, as apparent from ongoing news, just how good a parent(s) or guardian(s) are, varies. Consequently, it takes the law to bring action for any form of child abuse.

Where a child or youth have faced neglect or abuse etc. the State has the responsibility to take all appropriate measures for rehabilitative care (Article 39 of UN Convention).

Children really are everyone's responsibility.

While a load lays upon parents/guardians, those persons upon whom children look up to also carry the same load towards properly influencing our children.

Children are our future, so i.m.h.o. we should carefully look after our future, so it can then look after us.

 

Legalsuit, you summed it up here. "And yes, children need to be taught manners…but what we often forget is what children see, children do. So where are children getting their examples from? And how positive are those examples?"

 

I love these stories. Parents making their kids take responsibility and showing the repercussions if they don't, this is what the world needs.