Phantom's Epic Crop Failure!...

Yep, so this is my ENTIRE Mandarin crop for 2012!... rolleyes

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g309/Zobor/2011_New/2012_New/Crop_Epic_Fail2.jpg

I don't think that I'm going to feed a multitude this year.:yum. And yeah, I did fertilize, water, etc. I just suck at fruit growing. ~ Mr. Brown Thumb strikes again!:kissmy

 

My grapes get bigger than that.
How are you growing it?

 

Sorry to hear that, Phantom. Looks a bit like a yellow M & M. Or my smiley.

 

http://www.gardenguides.com/83463-grow-mandarin-oranges.html

 

Well, we had a record dry/hot autumn, which didn't help, I'm sure. The garden's a bit weird this year. Nice, wet, cold winter has produced some wicked lemon crops - so many, I don't know what to do with the baseball-sized things. But yeah, guess that it was too late for the mandarins, (damn it! I like mandarins, too).:yum

(Yep, that is my Lilly white hand in the pic. Not much tanning happening with me, eh.):-o

LoL! @ Larry and his "yellow M&M" comment

 

Yeah, I thought y'all would get a laugh out of my ultra-lame gardening skills :neener. Like when I grew garlic earlier in the year, my method was to literally throw the cloves on the ground - that was it. The g/f was roflmao when she saw my (lack of) effort, (she's Italian extraction so no the whole family, including the old Momma laughs at me) :-o. Hey, but they did at least grow, (those that didn't die, anyway ).
I CAN actually garden quite well when I'm motivated. I even used to be consultant for horticultural Co's, (well, for their nutrient solutions and hydroponics, anyway). But when I have better things to do,or no time - forget about it.

Post Script:-So, I found out what the problem was, anyway. I traced the water reticulation line around the garden beds and found some big boot prints left by the gardening guy when he was weed whacking. And yep, there was about two meters of plastic tubing broken. Okay so I've replaced the broken bits and NOW the auto-watering works. He also hacked up another soaker hose with the weed whacker, then denied it. We was like, "It was already like that"). Yeah sure it was. Am I blind as well as stupid.rolleyes
~ Well, I guess he aint coming back...Grrr!!!.:mad
I suppose it would help if I went out in the back yard more than once every three months or so :zzz.

Oh yeah - No Laura, I'm not growing a special miniature oranges for Smurfs.Either the tree needs Viagra, or I'll just take it and not give a damn about the garden.rolleyes

 

They will grow smaller than that if you try growing as bonsai.

 

Har!..I just Googled "Epic Crop Failure" and looks like my stoopid thread tops the list!...At least I'm famous for something - even if it is for being a failure.:-o

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g309/Zobor/2011_New/2012_New/fail1.jpg

Looks like I topped Google Images, too...roflmao

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g309/Zobor/2011_New/2012_New/fail2.jpg

 

Wouldn't consider it an epic crop failure,even your description is a little ambitious:-D

Oh well start small and aim for two MM's next year

 

Ambitious?...:confused Yeah riiight, I should've at least blighted out the whole of the state.rolleyes

Well, at least I have plenty of lemons. But the taste of lemonade and lemon meringue pies is getting old already.

 

That would have been epic:-D

I'll have to dig up the pictures of my failed chilli crop,chilli's the size of grapes didn't want to grow larger than peas once they encountered my magical green fingersrolleyes

 

Now people you all are being misled. I know that Barry has actually been working on a miniturization ray and from the looks of it he has finally succeeded! Congratulations Barry, now if you could only remember how to reverse the process.....

Your friend (?)

Jack

 

Whoa now.
Is it possible that instead of an orange, that was really a basketball?

 

Think bigger, like the Roman god of war :-D

 

http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g309/Zobor/2011_New/2012_New/Honey-I-Shrunk-The-Kids-screenshot.jpg

Damit!!...Now my secret is out! Guess I forgot about needing the 'Grow-Ray' first :confused. Ah well, at least my food bill will be small :yum. But I nearly drowned, trying to use the toilet. What a stupid, crappy way to die!roflmao

Yeah, suuure you are!....Just wait 'till I get around to sailing the Pacific Ocean in my tin-foil pie dish boat. ~ YOU'RE NEXT!!!...Traitor! :neener

{P.S.:- I DID offer to miniaturize the Harlem Globe Trotters, but they would only let me have their balls to play with.:-D}

 

OMG Barry, you finally masterminded it, salad sized mandarins. So how do you peel them?

 

Meh, I think that you need tweezers for my 'crop'.lol
Well, I've planted some more garlic and chillies and onions, (properly this time - I think). See how many I can kill off this time. Planted a heap of flower bulbs, too. I have no idea why, since I usually never plant flowers. Someone, (who I won't mention rolleyes) said I'm getting "girly" in my old age age. I didn't really know what to say to that.roflmao

Maybe three months of the Flu has cooked my noggin.LOL


(Good to see you again, B.T.W. :hyper).

 

I wonder if there is a way to suspend them in oil, maybe make a cute decoration with them. Think there is much acid in them?

Good to be back on the board here. I'm trying to wiggle more time for enjoyment in my life and stopping in to see old friends is part of it.

 

Uh, huh!...There is no "them", hun. That one in the photo was my ENTIRE crop!...:-o roflmao ~ I didn't dare eat it.:yum LOL

Yeah, I've hardly seen anyone since I've been sick. Most of them are sick, too. A real plague this year.

 

Grow a bush or two of Kumquat. Hardy plants and resilient to weather- and always has a fruits. Inedible though.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kumquat#Cultivation_and_uses
Dump eight odd in a liter of non expensive sweet rum with 4-5 heaped Tbls of sugar.
Close the jar for 2-3 months. Open and take a taste for sugar and bitter. If bitter take some kumquats out. Best after 5-6 months.

Serve the same to non- hard alcohol inclined ladies friends-* NEAT* in a sherry or brandy glass. They love it.

Cheers..

 

Yeah, thanks Vik. I made some very nice Kumquat marmalade, years ago. Used to have a tree of that. That Mandarin does look more like a Kumquat, I'll admit.LOL
That recipe you posted looks nice. My kind of thing:yum

 

Sorry to hear about you being ill. Maybe you should have eaten the mandarin ... it may have been a secret cure from nature .... after all it was pill sized. LOL j/k On a more serious note, I hope you and your brother are doing well.