Funny things you've said out loud.

The other day I was making dinner and I was trying to open a bag of shredded cheese using the little tear here tabs (which NEVER work btw) after struggling for a few minutes, and then unintentionally due to my frustration, I yelled "give me my cheeeeseeeee!!" Then I proceeded to crack up laughing. I'm sure my neighbors think I'm nuts :-D

 

I didn't say this, but I heard it in a conversation between two co-workers in the 1980s. The secretary was using Liquid Paper to correct a document and accidentally started getting a buzz from the fumes while trying to get it to dry. She told a co-worker who replied with:

"You're supposed to blow it, not suck on it!"

Only after I had been screaming with laughter for about 15 seconds did they realize the double entendre of the statement. :-D

 

I feel this would be more fun if dyamond had recorded herself saying that

 

Perhaps

Maybe next time I fight with a bag of cheese I'll try to remember to record myself in case I happen to say anything funny. How's that? :-D

 

The world is constantly throwing up obstacle to prevent our happiness, war, famine, disease, inoperable open here tabs.

We must overcome these obstacle with vigor and disdain.:major:-D

 

Hmm... fully automatic weapons fire solves fully half of those problems. (War and inoperable open here tabs.) Actually, an international law banning those tabs could probably solve famine.

 

Once when my kids were little I had them picking up their toys. They were big into Mutant Ninja Turtles at that time, and had a ton of the action figures . . . most of which were headless. I was walking through the hallway and stepped on one and yelled out the window to them, "Hey, somebody left turtle heads in the hallway again!"

This was said to me, but it was hilarious! Back in highschool I was helping a friend of mine change a fuse in her car . . . it was dark, and I was juggling a flashlight while nearly standing on my head trying to get to the fuse box, when she piped up helpfully and said "Tim, you want me to hold it while you put it in?" . . . meaning the flashlight of course. With a straight face I replied, "Well, sure Deb . . . but shouldn't we finish replacing the fuse first?" . . . "

Bless her heart she didn't get the joke for a good few minutes . . . :-D

 

Totally agree because I really hate those tabs, they are the bane of my food opening existence :-D


I remembered these two other times talking with my sister that were just hilarious.

First: Most people when they talk about anything that they really like or that's really awesome, they usually say "it's the best thing since sliced bread". Well, while we were chatting on the phone a couple months ago, and in her best effort to describe how horrible she really thought something was she said "it was the worst thing since sliced bread!" I died laughing.

Second: I was visiting her and we had just gotten back from the store and I had a chicken quesadilla. We were sitting at the table eating and talking and her cat was sitting next to me staring me down.

me: your cat is hungry.
her: no she just likes you.
me: no, she's hungry and she wants the chicken in my quesadilla.
her: how does she know you have chicken?
me: uhh, cats have noses too, you know.

Then we both burst out laughing. You can tell we are totally related. roflmao

 

Along the same lines . . . trying to get into a music CD wrapper is vexing, to say the least . . . :mad

My older brother had bought a new car, and it was giving him fits . . . kept stalling out at odd times, and he was due to take it back to the dealership the next day. We were sitting at a stop sign at a busy state road for a long time, till finally I saw a break coming up and I told him to get ready to punch it. He said, "But, I'm afraid I might die! . . . "

To which I responded, laughing, "By all means then, please stay put!"

 

Put an end to those struggles.

I keep a pair of scissors on the kitchen counter and large rubber bands and bag clamps to seal the bags.
=====

 

People still buy CDs?

 

I did have to eventually use scissors but if it says "tear here" you really should be able to tear it! lol

What about those plastic cases that mp3 players, headphones, etc are in? You need a chainsaw to get those suckers open. :-D

I bought a CD last year for my friend's birthday. She listens to it all the time in her car.

 

Yeah, I know, but that just makes me more angry. :banghead

 

My car has an iPod hookup.

 

That was a recurring theme in one of the episodes of "Curb Your Enthusiasm"

Larry David and Impregnable Plastic Packaging

 

At my mother's fiftieth birthday. I remarked out loud, gee fifty years,,, thats
half a century. That earned me the stink eye for a couple of days. :-D

 

I say dumb things out loud all the time and you know what i just don't care any more. :-D
The women can give me the stink eye all they want it does not phase me at all.
I fear very little.:neener

 

How old are you....seriously!

Please don't procreate.

 

She doesn't even own a computer (well one that works anyway :-D)

You're lucky the stink eye is all you got. Don't you know the cardinal rule of never ask/comment on a woman's age unless you're willing to take your life in your own hands? :-D

I have a friend just like you. He says stupid things all the time. Not on purpose, though. I think he was dropped on his head as a baby. :-D

(I hope you don't do it on purpose, either)

Everyone is entitled to be "stupid" if they want to be. You don't have to be mean about it.

 

Did you see the sparks when he hit the marble top, that was a real knife and a real marble top:-D I can imagine the people who own the house were like "You didn't say say he would take out knives and start ripping into the work tops!"

 

lol even doctors cant figure out how to open them dam plastic boxs.:-D

It's called get a pair of stainless steel scissors.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR09wh27RVg

 

Google "clamshell package opener" Lots of goodies to spend your money
on.

 

I bought one for my mother that actually works. It's kind of like a manual can opener, and zips the edge right off the stupid things. :-D

Nothing short of a sharp knife will open those triple-damned cheese pouches, though!

 

Hahaha exactly! I wonder if whoever came up with that idea, did it as some sort of cruel joke? Mad scientist, perhaps? I can just see the convo now: "I have the evilest idea ever! I'll make people think they can just open packages by placing little "tear here" tabs but they'll NEVER be able to tear them open! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA"


:-D

 

That is the way i think mawhahahahahahahaha:-D

 

That would not surprise me in the least!

 

When I see videos like those I hope its a prank program, because otherwise I am getting really worried about the level of intelligence of certain people.

Then again its excellent to showcase such a program in USA because if someone hurts themselves trying to open such a box you can allways refer to "the doctors on TV that couldnt open it either" and probably win a couple of millions for a scratch

As goldensckull said: pair of scissors, cut away 3 out of 4 of the melted edges - open. (unless some manufacturer has gone crasy and melted toegether internal "pillars" of the package - then those has to be ripped open)

I would call those kinda problems "(too much)wellfare issues"

ps
with that said I aint saying its a good packaging technology for the customer and even those with "rip cords" doesnt open properly allways. But its cheap and protects the content extremely well both from air, dust and shock = good for manufacturer.
ds

 

I HATE those 'Open Here' things... Just the other day, I was trying to open the bacon to celebrate Eid al-Fitr. The package says 'easy open, insert finger an lift'. Yeah right! I said a few things, but not suitable for the forum here. :-D

I hate those things so much, I have 2 blocks of knives on the counter...

 

Old thread is old.

 

Bacon!!! On Eid... you're joking, right.

Cheers..

 

Nope. And I drink something French on the 5'th of May... :-D

 

I eat bacon all the time. I don't need no holiday!

 

I think Bacon should have it's own holiday. Have you ever heard anyone say "this would be better if it had less bacon on it?"

Whataburger, patty melt, no onions, add bacon. Instant Nirvana. :-D

 

I think the bigger issue is that people do not want to decimate the packaging in the event that they need to return it. A lot of stores have return policies where you need original packaging. Scissors, screw drivers, blow torches and medieval torture devices used to open said packaging all mangle it. Not to mention that not everyone carries scissors with them and wants to wait until they get home to use said product.

I don't know about you, but when I return something, I want it (packaging as well) looking near brand new and undisturbed; not hacked to bits.

 

I'm a real Pack Rat with electronics boxes. I have the original box for every cassette deck, VCR, DVD player, stereo receiver,
computer monitor (2 of 3), stereo speakers, graphics card and power supply that I have. Even a few smaller ones besides that.
Don't know why I feel I have to do that. Some are thirty years old.

 

Good heavens!! :-D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sq8VDXlWQk

Cheers..

 

Sikvik, never heard that song, sound like some classic '80's music. :-D

My parents have boxes for electronics they no longer own... Well, at least the tree rats have used them for houses. I usually keep the box for a few days for most items, then it gets tossed. I keep the box if I plan on selling the item. Items with the box and all the extras sell better.

 

I made myself a rule that I would keep electronics boxes no longer than one year, especially since I stopped moving at least once a year (if you move a lot, keeping the boxes stuff came in is very handy). I figure if the warranty is only good for a year, then there's no point in keeping the box longer than that.

My mother, on the other hand, not only has the boxes everything came in, but when said electronics die, she puts them back in the box and stores them in the basement. I don't know why. But there's an Apple IIe down there.