Got A Funny Pic? Post It !

Reminds me of the idiot traffic officer who ticketed a driver because the vehicle's reverse lights only work while the vehicle is in reverse... (true story)

 

I remember equal stupidity happened in the 1980s where some teenagers were arrested for acting suspiciously and having suspected dangerous chemicals that may be explosive in nature. The police asked the boys why they were loitering suspiciously in the foyer of the Public Library and they replied that it was raining outside and they were just waiting for it to stop. The cops on previous occasions had advised the schoolboys not to hang around the library or there would be trouble for them and so the schoolboys thought that the cops were just picking on them.
When the cops searched them, they were arrested and taken back to the police station and their parents were called because it was discovered that they had several large bottles labelled Dihydrogen Monoxide in their school bags.
Of course it was all a schoolboy prank and it made the papers because the parents went to the media to let everyone know that the cops didn't know the other name of H2O or water lolol

 

The latest from POTUS

 

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll tell you which came first!

 

Harmless April Fools prank

Several HS boys turned 3 goats loose in the halls after painting them with bold numbers: 1, 2, 4

 

One Upsmanship A four-year-old boy was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room when a little girl about his age, plopped down beside him and opened up her mind. “When I was this many (holding up three tiny fingers in his face) I had my tonscles out and they gave me bunches of Jello and all the ice cream I wanted. I couldn’t swallow for free ho days!” Sensing a challenge in her tone, he said: “Oh yeah? That’s nuffin! When I was bornded, the Doctor circumscribed me and I couldn’t even walk for two years!”

 

Need help writing a Valentine.........is motherfu*%er one, or two words?

 

Note between two techs (supposedly)



"Can someone tell me where I can find one with the switches on the left instead of the right?"

 

Picture this...........

So I'm buying beers on my way home today. I'm carrying two in my left hand since I use my right for my cane. As i set them on the counter to pay, one falls over and rolls toward the clerk.
Girl says, "Just throw it at me. That's okay."
I say, "What if I hit you with it?"
Girl says, "Then I go home with you."
I say, "Well, if I hit you with both of them, can we do it 2 days in a row?"
Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Their mom was tub-bathing the four-year-old twins Paul and Paula when they suddenly became aware of their anatomical differences. Paula asked: “Please, may I touch yours?” Paul recoiled in fear saying: “Heck no! You've already broken yours off!”

 

A grumpy male patent had been driving the young nurses crazy with his frequent and loud demands that were upsetting the staff and other patients so they asked the well-seasoned charge nurse to intervene. She told him that she needed a rectal temperature which he promptly protested. She insisted and, upon leaving, left his bottom exposed to passerby in the hallway. After an hour or more he became curious why everyone passing would burst out in uproarious laughter. Finally, the charge nurse returned and he asked: "Hasn't anyone seen a rectal temperature taken before?" She answered with a devious grin: "Probably not with a daffodil."

 

Well, That's me in Hospital

This has not been a good morning. After spending the last few weeks self quarantined inside the house, I decided to go horseback riding (seen as we're not allowed on our bikes) , something I haven't done in many years. It turned out to be a horrible big mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, but then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the saddle stirrup, the horse was then dragging me. The horse just would not stop.
Thankfully the manager at Sainsbury came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins off me so I wouldn't try to ride the Elephant...
How many of you actually read what I wrote? If you did, copy and paste for someone else to get a laugh!

We certainly need a laugh.

 

View attachment 2 e
From my sister's daughter

 

How Cherokee babies are named A young Cherokee girl asked her mother: “Mommy, please tell me again how we got our names.” “Well, the Great Spirit actually provides Cherokee mothers with assistance. When a baby is first born, the midwife puts it to the mother’s breast then opens the teepee flap. The first sign of nature is usually chosen as the new baby’s name. When your brother was born, I saw an eagle gliding through the summer sky so I named him Soaring Eagle. When your sister was born, I saw a baby deer so I named her Running Fawn. Incidentally, why do you ask, Little Puppy Peeing?

 

My wife told an old Cherokee woman that she had just gotten a nice bottle of wine for me.

The old woman replied: "God trade!"

 

My first Zoom Conference with staff from Tech Support!

 

Sign on copy machine: WARNING - DO NOT USE, PENIS JAMMED IN MECHANISM.

 

lol - that's a reaaaalllly olllld photo!

 

Was that for real with the Chimpanzee?

 

I haven't passed it through the 'truth-o-meter' but it is funny as he**!