Jokes

That was excellent!!

 

T.G.I.F. vs S.H.I.T.


A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."
She looked puzzled, and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly.
He again answered, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."
The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T."
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain, "'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it duuhhh?"
The man answered, "'S-H-I-T' means "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

 

You Know Its 2007 When

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.


3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.


4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.


5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have
e-mail addresses.


6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to
help you carry in the groceries.


7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.


8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.


10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.


11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )


12 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.


13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.


14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.


15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t #9 on this list


AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

 

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them all and retire on the income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet is provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity, and arrest the reporter who leaked the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the *!!%$@@##** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

this is not all my own work but i did contribute.


http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys3/1krass.gif

 

can CHAZ clean this

is windows a virus
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1. They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see #2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It's a bug.

i thought about posting this in Malware but it seemed a bit frivolous.http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/whacky086.gif

 

Tech Support: "Ok, ma'am, I need you to do a ctrl-alt-del."
Customer: "How do I do that?"
Tech Support: "Push and hold 'ctrl' and 'alt' at the same time, and then hit 'delete'."
Customer: "Where are those?"
Tech Support: (explains the location of the keys)
Customer: "Nothing happened."
Tech Support: "Try again."
Customer: "Still nothing."

A minute or two later....

Customer: "Should I turn my computer on? Would that help?"
Tech Support: "Yeah, it might."

that's me always forgetting something.http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys3/Error.gif

 

Re: can CHAZ clean this

Lol good theory

 

Re: can CHAZ clean this

MOVE IT TO THE JOKE THREAD!!!
YES YES YES!!!
hahahahahah

abri

 

A seafood restaurant had a sign in the window that read, "Big Lobster Tales, $5 each."

Amazed at the great value, a man stopped in and asked the waitress, "Five dollars each -- is that correct?"

"Yes," she said. "It's our special just for today."

"Well," he said, "they must be little lobsters ."

"No," she replied, "it's the really big lobster."

"Big red lobster tails, $5 each?" he said, amazed. "They
must be old lobster!"

"No, they're definitely today's."

"Today's big red lobster tails -- $5 each?" he repeated, astounded.

"Yes," she insisted.

"Well, here's my five dollars," he said. "I'll take one."

She took the money and led him to a table where she invited him to sit down. She then sat down next to him, put her hand on his shoulder, leaned over close to him, and said, "Once
upon a time there was a really big, red lobster..."

 

If you think life is bad. How would you like to be an egg?
* You only get laid once.
* You only get eaten once.
* It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft.
* You share your box with 11 other guys.
* But worst of all.... The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.
So cheer up.....Your life ain't that bad!!!

http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys3/028_2.gif

 

this on is for Paris Hilton.

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/auto/car-smiley-023.gif

 

A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman sitting alone at the bar.

He walks up to her and says, "Hi there, good lookin'. How's it going?"

She turns around, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Save the small talk buddy, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean...It doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just flat-*** love it."

Eyes wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding. I'm a lawyer too. What firm are you with?"

 

One fine day, Hilary Clinton is cleaning her husband's room when she discovers a dust-covered box under the bed. Curious, she retrieves the box and opens it.

Inside is 3 empty beer cans and a million dollars. Puzzled as to what this may be for, she decides to ask Bill about it. "Honey," she later asks, "Why is there a box under our bed with 3 empty beer cans and a million dollars in it?" As soon as he hears this, the former president's head droops and he speaks solemnly.

"I thought you might find that at some point, Hilary," he says. "You see, each of those beer cans represents a time that I cheated on you. The first can was Monica Lewinsky, since then there have been a few others as well." A short pause ensues.

"Well," Hilary finally says, "After all, you were once the president of the United States, I suppose only three isn't so bad. What's the million dollars for?" "Oh that," replied Bill, "That was for all the times that the box got full and I had to take the cans in for a deposit!"

http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/sex021.gif

 

What is the worst punishment you could give to a Major Geek?????

lock him in a room with a computor that has Windosws 95 OS and three keys missing from the keyboard.

CTRL,ALT,DELETE

http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/ad/crash.gif

 

You're on fire Bill

Loved the one about the cows
Keep up the great work

Thanks for all of the funky emoticons too

 

How the Jews got the Ten Commandments

God went to the Arabs and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make
your lives better. "The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
The Lord said, "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shall not kill."
"Not kill? We're not interested."

So God went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments for you that
will make your lives better."
The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honor thine Father and
Mother."
"Father? We don't know who our fathers are."
Then God went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."
The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Thou shall not steal."
"Not steal? We're not interested."

So God went to the French and said, "I have Commandments for you that
will make your lives better."
The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not
commit adultery."
"Not commit adultery? We're not interested."

Finally, God went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments for you that
will make your lives better."
"Commandments?" they said, "How much are they?"
"They're free."
"We'll take 10."

There, that ought to offend just about everybody!

 

And the guy is in the hospital!

 

Yeah! Puts the rest of us to shame given he is in hospital....perhaps it's those perky nurses firing him up too

 

Well if he's on fire, thats not such a bad place to be

Hope everything works out for you Bill

BTW: don't they have cows in Belgium

 

A BELIGEN CORPORATION you have two cows you you apply to Brussels for a grant to increase your cows you buy a Range Rover and sell the milk from it to the EEC milk lake and they give you a subsidy for overproduction.http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys3/6_b.jpg

great news i get to go home on Thursday, it's a real shame coz i will not have all these pretty nurses(maybe i should ask for an extension of sentence)

http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/happy039.gif

 

One day, when Little Johnny came home from school, his mom bought him a new basketball. He went over to the new neighbors house and a little girl came out. Little Johnny said, my mommy bought me a new basketball, and you can’t have one!”

The next day the little girl had a new basketball. Then, Little Johnny’s mommy bought him a new bike. Little Johnnypromptly took it over to the little girls house, and when the little girl came out he boasted “Ha Ha mommy bought me a new bike and you can’t have one”.

The next day the little girl had a new bike. Frustrated, Little Johnny took the little girl out back, pulled down his pants and said ” I got one of these and mommy said that you cant have one!” In defiance, the little girl pulled up her skirt and said “mommy said as long as I have one of these I can have all those I want!
http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/sport001.gif

 

this on e is for all the lady's
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God…”Lord, I have a problem!”

“What’s the problem, Eve?”

“Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.”

“Why is that, Eve?” came the reply from above.

“Lord, I am lonely. And I’m sick to death of apples.”

“Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.”

“What’s a ‘man’, Lord?”

“This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he’ll give you a hard time. But, he’ll be bigger, faster and more muscular than you. He’ll also need your advice to think properly. He’ll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about, hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack.”

“Sounds great,” says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. “What’s the catch, Lord?”

“Yeah, well…. you can have him on one condition.”

“What’s that, Lord?”

“You’ll have to let him believe that I made him first.”

http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys3/1_2.gif

 

I love that,havn't seen it for a while.

 

Bill loves to drink at the local pub, but his wife disapproves of this. One night, he's at the bar and he gets extremely drunk. He tries to stand up, but immediately falls to the floor. He tries this a few more times, but each time he falls to the floor.

People offered to help him, but he said no each time. He finally ended up dragging himself home and sneaking into bed, thinking his wife would never catch him.

The next morning, Bill's wife says, "Bill you son of a bitch! You were at the bar last night drinking again!"

Bill was confused. "How did you find out?"

"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there."

http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys3/all_coholic_2.gif

this one is for me!

All Ages

 

Strange resemblance there Bill LOL

Get to go home tomorrow, great :clap

 

Aliens

ALIENS ARE COMING TO ABDUCT ALL THE GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.

YOU GUYS WILL BE SAFE; I JUST WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE

 

For his entire working life, a dedicated and hardworking Astrophysicist tried in all earnest to find the existence of other being somewhere in the universe. After 58 years of constant effort, he finally receives a response from a planet 30 billion light years away.

“What is your planet like?” groaned the extraterrestrial from the other side of the Galaxy.

“It is 12,756 Kilometers in diameter, is 93,000,000 miles from the nearest star, our sun, has an average temperature of 72 degrees F. We breathe oxygen, live about 75 years, and have both men and women” answered the Physicist.

“Do the you get along with the women on your planet?” the extraterrestrial asked slowly.

Puzzled by the question, but not wanting to insult the female Physicists near by, he answered “Why yes. We get along quite well here.”

The extraterrestrial perked up “Can we send you ours?”

 

Q: What do you call a redneck who has both a dog and a cat?

A: Bisexual.

 

A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says,

"Did you know your eyes match your swimming shorts?"

He says,

"Why? Are my eyes bulging?

 

One day , long, long ago there was this man
who surprisingly,

Was not full of s--t....



But this was a long time ago....

And it was just ONE day !!!

The End

 

I dont get it...confused

 

Forehead Writing

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now.

He looks at her and says angrily, fix the lights now?
Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead?
I don't think so.

Fine, she says, then asks, well then, could you fix the fridge door?
It won't close right

To which he replied, fix the fridge door?
Does it look like I have Westinghouse, written on my forehead?
I don't think so

Fine, she says
Then you could at least fix the steps to the front door?
They are about to break

I’m not a carpenter and I don't want to fix steps.
He says, does it look like I have Ace hardware written on my forehead?
I don't think so I’ve had enough of you.
I’m going to the bar!!!!

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours..................................

He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home

As he walks into the house he notices
That the steps are already fixed.

As he enters the house, he sees the
Hall light is working.

As he goes to get a beer, he notices
The fridge door is fixed.

Honey, he asks, how'd all this get fixed?
She said; well, when you left I sat outside and cried.

Just then a nice handsome young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake.

He said, So what kind of cake did you bake?

She replied, Hellooee………..

Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?
I don't think so!

 

A Moment with Timmie


An elderly Timmie(TimW) and his wife had dinner at our house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
Timmie & I were talking, and Timmie said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it to you and your wife very highly."
I said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The Timmie thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied Timmie. He then turned towards the kitchen and called out to his wife, "Hey Rose, what was the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Hey Timmie you had better get your License Plate renewed Laddie
http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/8779/timmaynz0.jpgroflmaoroflmao That should get a chuckle or two from our TimW

 

http://www.thisisnot1966.com/images/timmy.jpg

 

Watch What You Say (Especially to Kids)

A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have breasts bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why. She tells her son, "The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is."

The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does. She replies, "The bigger they are, the dumber the man is."

Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play. Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother…………………………..

"Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."

Dang it I think Timmie got lost!!!!???

 

Hey Bro your jokes and the others have always given me my daily chuckle, glad I could do the same for you MK

 

Well that ain't what you called her last night at dinner..........Oh and by the way OldZimer did you remember the name of the restaurant.......YetLOL

Knowing our Timmie he is going to get arrested for stealing the neighbours wifes purse again, sheesh what that boy puts us through:cry

 

She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/innocent/innocent0009.gif

 

A son comes home from college to West Virginia and tells his dad about a wonderful girl he’s met.

“Dad, she’s fantastic. She’s smart, in great shape, and she’s getting her teaching certificate this spring. I’m going to ask her to marry me, but…”

“But what, son?” asks the father.

“She’s a virgin.”

The father scratches his beard and says, “Son, if she ain’t good enough for her own family, she damn sure ain’t good enough for ours.”
http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys3/big_eyes.gif

 

LOL

 

LOL LOL LOL
This whole page was great!
Hard to know where to send all the praise!
hahahahaha LOL
very funny <vbg>
abri

 

THE S__T LIST


GHOST S__T: The kind where you feel the shit come out, but there's no shit in the toilet.

CLEAN S__T: The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET S__T: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with stains.

SECOND WAVE S__T: This happens when you're done shitting and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to shit some more.

POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD S__T: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG S__T: The kind of shit that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

GASSY S__T: It's so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.

DRINKER'S S__T: The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait are the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

CORN S__T: Self explanatory.

GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-SHIT-S__T: The kind where you want to shit but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP S__T: That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS S__T (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

THE DANGLING SH__T This shit refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done shitting it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

THE SURPRISE S__T: You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- You shit! http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/ad/toilet.gif

 

If your fifty years or older you have had every one of those Bill, Great one Thanks for the chuckle

 

Dead Mariage

A Bride and Groom are about to tie the knot when a horrible accident kills the entire wedding party. As they stand at the gates of heaven they meet Saint Peter. The man says " Sir, we were just about to be wed, and were wondering.... is it possible to get married up here?"
Peter says" Wait here, I'll go find out." About six months pass in heaven when Peter comes back with a preacher and says" You most certainly may, I have everything ready."
The Groom says " Well, it's been a while, and we got to thinking. Till death do us part is one thing, but enternity? What if we want a divorce?"

Saint Peter (who is now looking furious) say's " LOOK IT TOOK ME 6 Months to find a PASTOR up here, how long do you think it'll take for me to find a lawyer???"

 

Size Does Matter
An explorer is searching in the Amazon jungle for this lost tribe whose women are reputed to have vaginas that are three inches wide and twelve inches long.

Finally he finds the tribe and is invited to sit down with the chief.

"Is it correct," he says to the chief, "that your women have vaginas that are three inches wide and twelve inches long?"

"That correct, man," says the chief.

"However do you manage to have sex with women with vaginas that are three inches wide and twelve inches long?" inquires the explorer.

"The chief looks at him as if he was an idiot and says, "They stretch, man. They stretch."

 

New Windows
Last year I replaced all the windows in my

house with those expensive Double-pane

energy-efficient kind.



Yesterday, I got a call from the

contractor who installed them. He was

complaining that the windows had been

installed a whole year ago and I hadn't

paid for them yet.



Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde

doesn't mean that I am automatically

stupid. So I told him just exactly what

his fast-talking sales guy had told ME

Last year.. Namely, that in just ONE YEAR

these windows would pay for themselves!

Helllooooo"? (I told him). "It's been a

year"!



There was only silence at the other end of

the line, so I finally just hung up....

He hasn't called back, probably too

embarrassed about forgetting the Guarantee

they made me. Bet he won't underestimate a

blonde anymore!

 

Yorkshire Floods

News just in that there has been a muslim terrorist attack where a car was driven into the resovoir that caused the floods in sheffield last week ....


Local police have said that this may be the start of Ramadam

 

IS CHOCOLATE BETTER THAN SEX??????(FOR GIRLS)
1. You can GET chocolate.
2. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7. If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.
11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13. With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16. Good chocolate is easy to find.
17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
20. With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good

http://www.my-smileys.de/smileys3/banana.gif
THE JURY IS OUT!!!!!