Sad News

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by TimW, Dec 21, 2022.

  1. TimW

    TimW MajorGeeks Administrator - Jedi Malware Expert Staff Member

    Today was a very sad day for me. I discovered that my memory foam mattress has Alzheimer's. Please pray that it will eventually bounce back.
     
  2. Anon-e88bcb5f0b

    Anon-e88bcb5f0b Anonymized

    nm (deleted lame joke... even I myself gagged rereading it).
     
    Last edited: Dec 21, 2022
    TimW likes this.
  3. LauraR

    LauraR MajorGeeks Super-Duper Administrator Staff Member

    RIP TimW's Memory

    ...er, I mean foam mattress. :D

    If you buy a new mattress, I love my sleep number mattress.
     
    DavidGP likes this.
  4. TimW

    TimW MajorGeeks Administrator - Jedi Malware Expert Staff Member

    I am hoping for the latest drug. Or at least somewhere I can sign it up for any new medical trials.
     
  5. Eldon

    Eldon Major Geek Extraordinaire

    Our electricity supply has Alzheimer's. Three times a day it forgets to not switch off...
    There is no cure. :(
     
    Bubbly Snowflake, oma, TimW and 2 others like this.
  6. joffa

    joffa Major Geek's Official Birthday Announcer

    Jeez Tim Alzheimer's happens a lot when things get older......a while ago my HP Scientific calculator lost its memory but I took it to a specialist and he repaired the memory button.....I was relieved :rolleyes:
    Hmmm......just thinking out loud.....maybe one of those memory foam mattress toppers will give your old mattress a new lease of life.....you know like having a younger companion o_Oo_O
     
    oma, Gensuknives, TimW and 1 other person like this.
  7. TimW

    TimW MajorGeeks Administrator - Jedi Malware Expert Staff Member

    Sadly, it is a case of early onset Alzheimer's. We've only had it about 6 months. I can't afford a mattress nursing home.
     
    Bubbly Snowflake likes this.
  8. joffa

    joffa Major Geek's Official Birthday Announcer

    Gee Tim so young.............Over here we have legal euthanasia and so if it is terminal and you get your doctor to sign off then your mattress can have a forever sleep.......it will probably go to where naughty mattresses go :eek:
     
    TimW likes this.
  9. mecanicogolf

    mecanicogolf Private E-2

    Weird topic.
     
  10. TimW

    TimW MajorGeeks Administrator - Jedi Malware Expert Staff Member

    I have called in a priest because it may be a case of demon possession. Who knows, a little holy water and some chanting....there might be hope.
     
    Bubbly Snowflake and joffa like this.
  11. Eldon

    Eldon Major Geek Extraordinaire

    I just remembered... Your bottled fart scheme. The plastic bottels melted!!! :eek:
    Maybe the matress suffered the same fate... :rolleyes:
     
  12. TimW

    TimW MajorGeeks Administrator - Jedi Malware Expert Staff Member

    Hummm...you mean silent but deadly? I didn't think about that. Being an Old Fart, ya just kind of take it in stride and don't really think about it much. Maybe I need the priest to exorcise something else, eh?
     
  13. joffa

    joffa Major Geek's Official Birthday Announcer

    A priest might help so long as the mattress doesn't start spinning around spewing green goo :oops::eek:

    Hmmm you have a good point there Eldon.....I forgot about the bottled fart scheme :rolleyes:

    Finally Tim......I think we are now getting closer to the truth......be careful with the priest though.....we don't want another Linda Blair episode especially if it's the nether regions being exorcised :eek::eek::eek:
     
  14. joffa

    joffa Major Geek's Official Birthday Announcer

    Hey Tim are poop emojis censored? I copied one on the end of my last post but it has been deleted :(
     
  15. TimW

    TimW MajorGeeks Administrator - Jedi Malware Expert Staff Member

    Good question. But I really need to talk with Eldon as I am now certain that he was the one that leaked my creation to my competitors!! The only difference was they created "Fart in a Jar"!!
     
    Bubbly Snowflake likes this.
  16. joffa

    joffa Major Geek's Official Birthday Announcer

    Ya better do that because over here they are marketing cans of fart spray.....bad mistake if you grab a can of fart spray when you thought it was insect repellent........so if you really want peace and quiet....... well the fart spray repels everything lol :oops::oops::oops:

    BTW is this your product......it comes from the USA lol ;):rolleyes:
    https://www.amazon.com.au/Liquid-Ass-Fart-Spray/dp/B01BHU4SVS?th=1
     
  17. Eldon

    Eldon Major Geek Extraordinaire

  18. TimW

    TimW MajorGeeks Administrator - Jedi Malware Expert Staff Member

    The priest came and did his thing....there was a lot of screams, moaning, and then a horrendous odor!! I don't know if it worked of not because we lost power at midnight and it was 7 degrees last night. I think the mattress froze...I did. No power for 16 hours.
     
  19. joffa

    joffa Major Geek's Official Birthday Announcer

    Cripes Tim and here was me complaining that it was 28°C and really humid here last night and I had to run the air con most of the night.........
    BTW I hope the priest survived......I guess he figured out it was a dangerous job and that someone had to do it :eek::eek:

    Hmmm just checked the weather and tomorrow (Christmas day) it will be 30°C again and by Tuesday it will be over 36°C for a couple of days with bonus thunderstorms included.......in the old numbers that is about 97°F......whew!!!;);)
     
  20. Earthling

    Earthling Interplanetary Geek

    Tim I don't hang about here much as you know, but your memory foam mattress with early onset Alzheimer's has been the humour high spot of the year for me - I start giggling every time I think about it. Thanks mate, and happy holidays to all!
     
    Bubbly Snowflake and TimW like this.
  21. the mekanic

    the mekanic Major Mekanical Geek

  22. TimW

    TimW MajorGeeks Administrator - Jedi Malware Expert Staff Member

    Yeah...but is it organic??
     
    the mekanic likes this.
  23. JonahWales

    JonahWales Master Sergeant

    some story i read in uk a clinic sent out to hundreds thathey have cancer and they did not!!
     
  24. TimW

    TimW MajorGeeks Administrator - Jedi Malware Expert Staff Member

    Regardless, I'm still convinced my memory foam mattress has Alzheimer's.
     
    Bubbly Snowflake likes this.
  25. Eldon

    Eldon Major Geek Extraordinaire

    A mattress with cancer?

    And this is why I drink... :rolleyes:
     
  26. mecanicogolf

    mecanicogolf Private E-2

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Farting to all!
     
    Bubbly Snowflake and TimW like this.
  27. mecanicogolf

    mecanicogolf Private E-2

    Ho-Ho-Ho.....................
     
  28. Dusty Trigger

    Dusty Trigger Private E-2

    How about sending your dead memory foam mattress off in a Viking funeral pyre on a boat sent adrift to Valhalla?
     
  29. Dusty Trigger

    Dusty Trigger Private E-2

  30. superstar

    superstar Major-Superstar


    LOLLLL I love this!
     

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