add/remove hardware question

hi,
i have a new toy to play with, sony ericsson k800i, there is nothing wrong with the phone, all the drivers are installed on my pc and in the right place with no broken ones,
i did not install pc suite which consists of quicktime (already have it) or adobe photoshop (i have nero7) or any of the photo/video filling system (use nero7),

the problem is it is not 'seen' in add/remove hardware or the 'unplug/eject hardware' icon in my system tray,
when the phone is connected to my pc (via usb), 2 removable disks are shown in 'my computer' (n + o), 'o' is the one where the files are stored and i can right click and choose 'eject' (no option with 'n') and my phone says 'usb connection ended, it is now safe to remove the usb cable' but my pc says different when i remove it,
does anyone know how to get the thing in add/remove hardware

btw - it is 'seen' in computer management/storage/removable storage/physical locations but it has a red x

o/s w2k pro sp4

ta