Can't Run Windows Update via XP or IE

This is a strange one that I'm stumped on...

I can't run Windows update via Windows XP or Internet Explorer. Windows will not initiate Windows Update even though the Automatic Updates service is started. When I try to manually run Windows Update via IE it hangs on "Looking for latest updates..."

I've cleared IE files.
Tried Hotfix 927891.
Verified BITS and AU and Event Log services are running on Auto.
Registered various dlls.
Renamed and cleared SoftwareDistribution folder.

I've also reinstalled the AutoUpdate services as outlined here.
And ran a batch file to reset the services as outlined here.

Also downloaded and ran the Windows Malicious Software Removal Tool, as well as Spybot, Malwarebytes and SUPERAntiSpyware and also a complete Anti-Virus scan with AVG. Minor issues were cleaned.

I've found that I can't stop the BITS and WUAUSERV services either from the Services control panel or the CMD line. This is not normal...

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.