Concerned Parent

Hello. Can someone point me in the right direction. I have 4 computers in the house all running Windows XP on a wired & wireless network. I also have a pre-teenage daughter who is getting into trouble and things that are not appropriate. How can I monitor her internet usage, while allowing her some freedom to utilize it for school work and some appropriate cruising.

Are there programs that give us parents access to see what she is up to and will send us what she is sending and receiving. I want to be like a computer admin at a corporation would be to the employees that are using the computer inappropriately, see all and know all. Thanks

 

To be more specific, are you asking for a keylogger or related software like it?

 

I am interested in seeing all internet activity, including email. I want to be able to know what is going on the computer without physically looking over her shoulder. I need her to believe she has all her freedom while we can monitor what sites she is visiting, what she is getting involved in with strangers on email, aol, etc. Please help, with this new environment that children are growing up in, parents need technology assistance to help safeguard. What can you recommend?

 

This is in the software download section here at MG. I've not used it, but it most likely wouldn't be here if it didn't work well.
http://majorgeeks.com/A.M.S._-_active_monitoring_system_d4418.html

Or there's always http://www.netnanny.com/

 

A keylogger would simply record every keystroke she makes without her knowing, but if you want better software to record everything she does on the pc, from every site she browses to every button she clicks on, you would have to pay.

 

I don't mind paying for a trusted program that will allow me to monitor the activity through my network or remotely. Any other recommendations besides the AMS program?

 

Maybe the answer is fewer computers (gasp!), locating them only in public areas of the home, and limiting their accessibility. Seems like you want to build trust, and, arguably, spying isn't the answer. Proceeding on the current course, what will happen? "Honey, we know you've been doing such-and-such on the internet." The next question from her will be "How?"

 

The problem shouldn't be pointed at how we as parents will handle this if something is discovered. Our daughter has some disability regarding social development. She is far too trusting, cannot distinguish between good and bad behaviours or people and needs all the support we can give her. Getting her a computer to help her with her disability, give her an edge with school was the original plan. Rather than punish her and forbid her to use a computer, have her hate us and rebel, we just want to monitor and present solutions to problems should they arise.

We do not want, god forbid, to be put into a much worse scenario, especially based upon many current and past events. It was bad enough before the age of computers for our parents to know who our friends were that we were talking to on the phone or penning letters to. Now we need to adapt and deal with a digital generation with many more resources and mediums.

We just want to be aware and involved one step ahead. Can you offer suggestions regarding software?

 

Sorry,no, I can't. If you need parenting help, seek a social worker, not a bunch of computer geeks. It sounds like you want to be aware, but not involved until after something happens. Waiting until after the fact to divulge she has social disabilities suggests, perhaps, that you are looking for an easy answer, even at the same time I know your motives are well-intentioned. I never suggested denying her the use of a computer, only that she be limited to using it under passive but direct supervision, which you should have no problem with. She will hate you and rebel more for spying on her than for what you consider "looking out for her". If you choose to be pissed off and dismiss what I say, so be it, but I hope to at least have made you consider an alternative course of action.

 

Yeah i was gonna say that you could modify your firewall and internet settings and, if instant messaging/chat rooms is a problem, you could disable IMs to people not on her buddy list or maybe just allow the people that you yourself know and feel safe to contact your daughter. wow, run-on sentance, glad my english teacher isnt reading this lol

 

there is one program i am aware of 'cybersentinal' that will monitor ALL computer activity.
it has a built in dictionary and has the ability for you to add words and phrases to it.
whenever the program finds a word or phrase in its database the program takes a screenshot of what is displayed on the monitor.
the program operates in stealth mode or you can tell it to display that it is running.

 

Thanks for all the help. I am not looking for parenting assistance and I am not trying to be a spy. I do want to be involved, not when it's too late. We as parents are very involved, but let's all be realistic. If a person of any age is determined to do whatever they think is fun, right or interesting, they will go at all odds to do this. We trust our children, but I can't honestly say we trust others or the internet community. Again thank you for your recommendations and if you have children, please look out for their best interests, while supporting them. Be the parent as well as a friend.

 

And thank you. It was never my intention to contradict or offend, only to offer an alternative food for thought. If I had grandkids, they would probably be about your daughter's age. Good luck, however you choose to proceed.

 

My 2c for what it's worth....

No amount of computer software is going to care about children like a parent can. Personally, I would, as a parent, recommend spending time (hours and hours if need be) to educate a child about how to use the internet safely. If they are able to use it and ask questions, they are perfectly capable of an age/ability appropriate answer. This approach will open lines of communication wayyyyy before any regrettable or undesired instances occur, and send a clear message to children that it is okay to go to a parent and tell them of situations that occur on the internet that are not healthy, or even in "real life" too.

"Spying" or restricting access will work against you every time IMHO