Creative Writing

LI_Geek_95 · Nov 12, 2009

We were given a book of pictures. I wrote mine based off of:
http://depts.washington.edu/czone/images/trees_mem_planes.jpg

[FONT=&quot]Creative Writing Project[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] The picture I selected speaks to me in a number of ways. It really depends on how I look at it. But the way I am looking at it right now, it is speaking to me as a morning in the middle of the summer.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Welcome to Amagansett. Population: 1000. This is what Billy’s mom said to him the day they moved to Amagansett. It is very different from the city. He lives right on Oak Street, which is beautifully lined with tree, after tree, after tree. The Hampton Jitney picks up people over by the street light everyday, which is usually his alarm clock.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Billy was still new here, so he hasn’t made any friends yet. He hasn’t been to school yet, because it is the beginning of August. He was sitting on his couch, when the doorbell rang. It’s Brianna from down the street. Brianna is gorgeous. Like, hotter than the devil’s flaming pitchfork. She says “hey, is Jake here?” He says “no, he moved out, but why don’t you come in?” She screams “CREEP!” and runs away. Her friend is still standing there. Her less attractive friend. MUCH less attractive. She says “hi, I’m Renee, can I come in?” Billy stepped inside his house and closed the door slowly. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Renee swore to seek revenge. 7 days, 150 text messages and 5 missed calls later, her plan is complete. At about 5AM, she left the house with $20 and went down to the local convenience store. There, she bought eggs, shaving cream, Diet Pepsi, mentos, a table cloth, and a Kit-Kat, to eat.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She shaving-cream glued the tablecloth over his bedroom window, that way he wouldn’t see the light. Then she egged his roof, then she put the mentos in the pepsi and put it on the front stoop.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Each one of her plans failed. Billy woke up, because the tablecloth was too thin to cover the whole window. The eggs missed the roof, went over the house, and landed in the garbage can. And, the mentos dissolved by the time he opened it.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She is still seeking revenge.[/FONT]
Click to expand...

cake · Nov 12, 2009

i assume you don't want "editing" comments, so i think it's a really good effort & you should get a decent grade (couple of inconsistencies with verb tense, btw). REALLY good descriptive writing that gives the reader an actual "feel" for what's happening. the style reminds of some things my son wrote for similar school projects. really humorous.

one other factual point; it's doubtful the mentos would just dissolve unless she used the fruit flavored ones. those simply don't have the "punch" that the regular mentos do. put regular mentos in diet coke and you'd be lucky to get the cap back on (yes, personal experience). more time with the fruit flavored ones...would also make Renee seem even more "inexperienced" at pranking.

although, my first thought, after looking at the pic (ROTF at myself), was..."and the train went into the tunnel; fade out."LOL

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Creative Writing

LI_Geek_95 Post-and-Run Geek

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