English to AOLer translater

Calltaker · May 17, 2008

Thought you might all get a kick out of this.....

Linkage first

Here is Romeo's Monologue about Juliet as it was written:

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!
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and translated...

BUT SOFT!11!1!111 WTF LOL WUT LIGHT THROUGH YONDER WINDOW BRAAKS
IT??!???!! OMG WTF LOL SI TEH 3AST AND JULEIT SI TEH SUN
ARIES!1!11! FARE SUN AND KIL TEH ANVIOS MON
WHO SI ALR3ADY SIK AND PAEL WIT GREIF
TAHT THOU HER MADE ART FAR MORA FARE THAN SHA
B NOT HAR MADE SINCE SHA SI ANVIOS
HER VESTAL LIEVRY SI BUT SIK AND GREN
AND NONE BUT FOLS DO WEAR IT CAST IT OF
IT!1!1! OMG WTF SI MAH LADY O IT SI MAH LOVE
O!11!1!1! WTF TAHT SHE KN3W SH3 WERE
SHE!11!1!1!1 SPEAKS Y3T SHE SAYS NOTHNG WUT OF TAHT
HER?!!??!! WTF LOL AYA DISCOURSAS I WIL ANSWER IMM 2 BOLD TIS NOT 2 M3 SHA SPEAKS
TWO OF TEH FAREEST STARS IN AL DA H3AEVN
HAVNG SOMA BUSIENS DO ANTREAT HER 3Y3S
2 TWINKLE IN THEYRE SPHER3S TIL THAY WUT!1111!1 IF H3R EYAS WER3 TH3RA TH3Y IN HER HEAD
TH3?!!?? WTF BRIGHTN3S OF HER CHEK WUD SHMA THOS3 STARS
AS DAYLIGHT DOTH A LMP HAR 3YES IN HEAEVN
WUD THROUGH TEH AREY R3GION STREM SO BRIGHT
TAHT BIRDS WUD SNG AND THINK IT WARE NOT NIGHT
SE!11!1!!! WTF HOW SH3 L3ANS HER CHEK UPON H3R HAND
O!11!1 OMG LOL TAHT I WARE A GLOVE UPON TAHT HAND
TAHT I MIGHT 2UCH TAHT CHEK!11!!
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Enjoy...

~C

Paxton007 · May 17, 2008

LOL "The Gettysburg Address"

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
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FOUR SCORA AND S3V3N YEARS AGO OUR FATH3RS BROUGHT FORTH ON THES CONTIENNT A NU NATION CONCEIEVD IN LIEBRTY AND DADICAETD 2 DA PROPOSITION TAHT AL MEN R CRAAETD EQUAL
NOW!!!!! LOL W3 R ENGAEGD IN A GR3AT CIVIL WAR T3STNG WH3TH3R TAHT NATION OR ANY NATION SO CONCEIEVD AND SO D3DICAETD CAN LONG 3NDURE!!!!!! OMG WTF WE R MET ON A GREAT BATLE-FEILD OF TAHT WAR!1!!111! OMG WTF WE HAEV COME 2 DADICAET A PORTION OF TAHT FEILD AS A FINAL R3STNG PLAEC FOR THOS3 WHO HERE GAEV THERE LIEVS TAHT TAHT NATION MIGHT LIEV!1!111! OMG WTF IT SI AL2G3TH3R FITNG AND PROP3R TAHT W3 SHUD DO THIS
BUT!1!!11! LOL IN A LARGER SANSE WE CAN NOT DEDICAET - WE CAN NOT CONSECRAET - WE CAN NOT HALOW - THES GROUND!11!!!!1 OMG LOL TEH BRAEV MEN LIVNG AND DAAD WHO STRUGLAD HERE HAEV CONS3CRAETD IT FAR ABOV3 OUR POR POW3R 2 AD OR DATRACT!!!!!! LOL TEH WORLD WIL LITL3 NOTA NOR LONG RAMAMBR WUT WE SAY HERE BUT IT CAN NAVER FORGET WT DID H3RE!!!!!!!1 OMG WTF IT SI FOR US DA LIVNG RATHAR 2 B DEDICAETD H3RE 2 DA UNFINISH3D WORK WHICH THAY WHO FOUGHT HERE HAEV THUS FAR SO NOBLEY ADVANCED!111!1! WTF IT SI RATHAR FOR US 2 B HER3 D3DICAETD 2 DA GREAT TASK R3MANENG BFORE US - TAHT FROM TH3SE HONORED DAAD WE TAEK INCREAESD DEVOTION 2 TAHT CAUES FOR WHICH THEY GAEV DA LAST FUL MEASURE OF D3VOTION - TAHT WA HERE HIGHLEY RASOLVE TAHT THASE DEAD SHAL NOT HAEV DEID IN VANE - TAHT THES NATION UNDAR GOD SHAL HAEV A NU BIRTH OF FREDOM - AND TAHT GOVERNMANT OF TEH P3OPLE BY DA PAOPL3 FOR DA P3OPLE SHAL NOT PARISH FROM DA AARTH!!!!1!!11 LOL
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Adrynalyne · May 17, 2008

This is a conversation from someone flaming me yesterday. Personally, it reads better and more clearly after being mangled by the translator...

please learn computer terms before taking me on.defination of hacking-Unauthorized use, or Hacking means illegally accessing other people's computer systems for destroying, disrupting or carrying out illegal activities on the network or computer systems.attempts to circumvent or bypass the security mechanisms of an information system or network and a virus is A computer program that can harm a computer by displaying messages, deleting files, or even destroying the computer's operating system.see the difference noob. biggrin.gif .and this is my ip address for you all crackers are 10.20.50.100.i run mac os x and windows xp .mac os x most of the times.hack it if you wish because i still think mac is hackable only in a computer lab of symantec and kaspersky and not in the real world.so hackers please put your knowledge to the test. i bet you cant hack me noobs and pros of the hacking industry
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PLZ LAARN COMPUT3R T3RMS BFOR3 TAKNG M3 ONDAFINATION!11!!11! OMG WTF LOL OF HAKNG-UNAUTHORIEZD UES OR HAKNG MAANS ILAGALY AC3SNG OTHER PEOPLES COMPUT3R SYSTAMS FOR DESTROYNG DISRUPTNG OR CARYNG OUT ILAGAL ACTIVITEIS ON DA NETWORK OR COMPUTER SYSTAMSAT3MPTS!111!! OMG LOL 2 CIRCUMVANT OR BYPAS DA SACURITY M3CHANISMS OF AN INFORMATION SYSTEM OR NATWORK AND A VIRUS SI A COMPUTER PROGRM TAHT CAN HARM A COMPUTER BY DISPLAYNG M3SAEGS D3L3TNG FIELS OR 3V3N DESTROYNG DA COMPUTERS OP3RATNG SYST3MSE!!1!!!!! OMG LOL DA DIF3RENC3 NOB!!1!111!! LOL BIGRINGIF!!1!1! OMG LOL AND!!!11!11! THES SI MAH IP ADRAS FOR U AL CRAK3RS R 10205010I!!!1!!1! RUN MAC OS X AND WINDOWS XP MAC!111!!! WTF OS X MOST OF TEH TIEMSHAK!!!!1!1! WTF LOL IT IF U WISH B/C I STIL THINK MAC SI HAKABLE ONLEY IN A COMPUTER LAB OF SYMANTEC AND KASP3RSKY AND NOT IN TEH RAAL WORLDSO!!111 LOL HAKARS PLZ PUT UR KNOWL3DGE 2 TEH TAST!1!111 LOL I BT U CANT HAK M3 NOBS AND PROS OF DA HAKNG INDUSTRYP
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augiedoggie · May 17, 2008

Man, does that AOL crap ever give me a headache! We've had those types join up and I'd tell them to write in English or else. They never stayed long for some reason.:-D

gimpster123 · May 19, 2008

man Does Taht Aol Crap Evar Giev M3 A Headach3!1!1!!!1! Omg Wtf W3ve Had Those Typas Join Up And Id T3l Tham 2 Wriet In English Or Else!!!1! Wtf Th3y Nevar Staeyd Long For Some Reason
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Paxton007 · May 19, 2008

wazap man i need ure help urgently fast gogo look at my quesstion at least tell me a forum where can i find some thing send me the link or something plz pm me back im just new bro understand me ;/ Can some1 write me a tutorial for using SC-Keylog I can' figure it out to work, hotmail and yahoo not work to me. Anyone know any free email server that work with SC-Keylog ? plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz guysplzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz THx Alot some one help me -.---
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WAZAP MAN I NED URE HELP URGENTLEY FAST GOGO LOK AT MAH QU3STION AT LEAST TEL M3 A FORUM WH3RA CAN I FIND SOMA THNG S3ND ME DA LINK OR SOM3THNG PLZ PM M3 BAK IM JUST NU BRO UNDARSTAND M3 / CAN SOME1 WRIET ME A TU2RIAL FOR USNG SC-K3YLOG I CAN FIGUR3 IT OUT 2 WORK HOTMALE AND YAHO NOT WORK 2 MA!!11!! WTF LOL ANYONE KNOW ANY FRE EMALE SERVER TAHT WORK WIT SC-K3YLOG ??!?!? WTF LOL PLZZZZZZZ GUYSPLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ THX ALOT SOMA ONA HELP M3 ---!111!1!11 OMG WTF
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LOL Sorry..

Fred_G · May 30, 2008

Funny link there CallTaker! I bookmarked it for future misuse.

E

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English to AOLer translater

Calltaker MajorGeek

Paxton007 MajorGeek

Adrynalyne Guest

augiedoggie The Canadian Loon - LocoAugie (R.I.P. 2012)

gimpster123 Bring out the Gimp.

Paxton007 MajorGeek

Fred_G Heat packin' geek