F. N. J.

A retired gentleman went to the DOSS office to apply for the Age Pension. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's License to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.

He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Age Pension application.

When he returned home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the DOSS office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have got Disability Pension too."







A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded, dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at the downtown International Marriott."

"That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel - it was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me."

"Really?" asked the Barber. "What'd he say?"

He said, "Where'd you get the lousy haircut?"

Ciao



God said to Noah: "I want you to build me another ark".
Noah replied: "I've just finished one, filled it with animals and members of my family, and we're all ready to go."
"Build me another one," said God "but this time make it 20 decks high, and fill it with carp."
"Why on earth would you want another ark, particularly filled with fish?" asked Noah.
And God said: "I've always wanted to own a multi-storey carp ark."

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

(That's high praise for a pun. )

 

LOL! Thats great!!

Good laught at what, half 12 at night?

 

thats soooo funny. especially the carp ark. thanx. aloha friday to you.

 

I really got a kick out the first one....

Thanx once again Harry

 

New there was a reason I look forward to friday.

 

Must confess Harry I usually save this little treat for a saturday morning after the friday night.

It's a tradition, I've already had 2 emails this morning, where's our Harry jokes.


Carp ark...............................wash your mouth out with soap and water