Hello again

chipper_atmacneil · Oct 2, 2007

Hi all,

I've been away a bit of a while so I thought I should post here first. It feels good to have come back, I have missed MajorGeeks and being in touch. Work's been a difficult transition as my hours have changed and I have less time for everything.

I'm tired a lot, but I'm working to regain productivity. I've mentioned before that I enjoy short stories, well, I also enjoy inventing stories, fictional plots, and characters. I'm making progress on this creative aspect of my personality, and it's been fun. I've finished a second draft of a short mystery in a fantasy setting. My interest in it is that I want to avoid the whodunit formula, rather my goal is that the finished product will be a literary puzzle that asks, what happened? While I do want to present a solution at the end, the formula I'm after will provide enough clues to figure out what is going on before the explanation is offered. For this genre, mystery deals in secrets, which are more relevant than antagonists. In fact, we usually can gather who the villain(s) are before we know what is happening. For instances of the genre I'm talking about, see Arthur Machen's The White People, M.R. James's short story Two Doctors, and H.P. Lovecraft's The Case of Charles Dexter Ward.

It's good to be here again. Thank you for your time.

Chipper

Fred_G · Oct 2, 2007

Howdy!

E

wildwolf220 · Oct 3, 2007

welcome back chipper:major

chipper_atmacneil · Oct 3, 2007

wildwolf220 said: ↑

welcome back chipper:major
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Good to be back, guys.

Grumbles · Oct 4, 2007

Welcome back Chipper :wave

How about a sample of your short stories?

G

chipper_atmacneil · Oct 5, 2007

A sample, huh? Well it just so happens I have two stories completed in draft, although they both need quite a bit of tweaking. Which is hard to do because they're like my babies, but that's the only way to get better. Anyway, the two selections I have ready are from The Death Mask and The Curse of the Tartan. Both are design names, the actual names will be finalized when the stories are finished and ready to see a publisher. They're both supernatural detective stories with a puzzle-box goal as opposed to a whodunit goal. The Death Mask is intentionally a Cthulhu Mythos tale, while The Curse of the Tartan is a story I'm writing entirely on my own mythological terms. By the way, I consider myself as more of a Derlethian thinker than a Lovecraftian when it comes to the Mythos, but that's more of a matter of spirit than convention. I don't use the Elder Gods, except as a term synonymous with the Old Ones, when I need a patron for human beings I simply use 'God' in a generic sense. Anyway, I think you get the idea.

From 'The Death Mask'

James Darrel had the letter concealed in a pocket inside his jacket, outside the range of prying eyes. He knew by accepting this problem he had opened himself to mortal danger. There were many secret societies and cults that preyed upon the innocent and unwary, wolves that walk in the guise of shepherds. He would have to see the marks on the children, he had an idea of what to expect, but it was a hypothesis he feared confirming. The streets were busy tonight, Cheticamp was bustling with activity as the people carried out the business of their lives, some commuting for work, some others at the bus stops were going home from the city after shopping hours, and others were carrying out age-old businesses of a more illicit kind. Darrel observed the comings and goings with interest, but he was not there to interfere, as he was returning home himself.
Yet there was one observation Darrel made that he did not like, and he was sure he'd been noticed in doing it. Someone in the crowd had been observing him. He was sure of that, there had been a stranger, a woman, who'd been following him. He made a mental note of her description, and began to slip away into the streets and alleys to lose her. He'd feared his friend Carol may have been hysterical when she'd told him about Edward's disappearance, as he hadn't been gone long enough to be accounted a missing person. Obviously someone had been listening to them at the restaurant.
Darrel thought he'd lost her several blocks back after he finally reached his apartment. His room was upstairs, and he noticed his door was unlocked. That was too obvious a clue. He had started carrying a gun again for self-defense purposes, since he'd regained his license. He opened the door quietly and stepped into the apartment. He'd half-expected to find the place was a mess, but there was no obvious disturbance in his things.
The detective analysed his rooms carefully, he knew all of them with the proficiency of a blind man. There were a few articles that had been moved, mostly notes, DVDs, an old flash drive, but for the most part his rooms remained as they are. Nothing had been taken. There was also a strong musk of perfume in the air, but no one present who could have been wearing it. Yet in the corner of his eye, he saw a shimmer of movement...
Darrel felt a cord swing over his head and caught it with a hand. His gun dropped to the floor as he brought both arms to work. His opponent was strong, but not heavy, suggestive of a woman attacker. With a sudden burst of force he managed to heft her over his head and onto the floor below him. Yet he could see no one there, only a ghostly afterimage. He hesitated for an instant in confusion, and felt a sweep trip him down. It was then he was able to see his antagonist more clearly, as a skeletal image materialized to tackle him with a dagger. There was an insane grin on the skull-like face as she lunged to gut him with the weapon. He brought both arms up at his attacker, and squeezed, hard. There had been two audible cracks of bone, before the knife fell from her hand and she slumped to the floor. It was then Darrel realized to his shame that he'd broken his assassin's neck.
He rolled from the corpse and got back to his feet, when he heard a sound of something peeling, and there was a form on the floor like a face. The features of the death-masque disappeared slowly, revealing a face he'd seen observing him earlier. Then even those features melted away and the body that lay before him was shown to be a woman he'd never seen before in his life. She couldn't have been more than 25 years old, yet from observing her corpse he saw evidence of drug abuse. The needle marks would probably yield some rather alarming results, as he suspected it may have been stupid luck that he caught her by the neck when he did. Why was she trying to kill him though, was she involved with the case, or was she hired by another enemy? She certainly couldn't answer that question now. On the floor he saw it clearly for the first time; it had a very realistic facial composition, corpse-like and decayed.
There lay the mask.
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From 'The Curse of the Tartan'

[FONT=UFTimes New Roman, serif]Richter Chesshur had been knighted for war service long ago, and as a survivor of the crusades he had received a good pension and owned land with people under him. Over the years, he had recovered as far as is possible from the horrific experiences he had suffered under the wars, and even managed to become a contented and wealthy man. He'd taken good care of his tenants, seeing that there was food for them in lean times, and shelter in case of disaster, and had become known as a “father of the poor”. Now he had just had a drink at a tavern he'd given patronage to, and was on horseback with two of his sentries acting as bodyguards to escort him back to his home.[/FONT]

[FONT=UFTimes New Roman, serif]The twin moons were just visible, as the night was young, and a mild breeze was in the air. The townsfolk were mostly in, handling their remaining day-to-day affairs before bed. There were many houses and shops on the street, thanks to Richter's generous patronage, and the sounds of conversation in the air were clear from the near stillness outside. The old knight rode with little care, as he had made many friends and feared no-one. His bodyguards were somewhat relaxed, as their master had no enemies to speak of, as he had not been at war or any other campaign in many years. So when the air took a sudden chill, fear crept up the spines of the soldiers, and they began to look nervously as they sensed danger. Richter, as said before, didn't have a care in the world at the moment, and had taken a nap on horseback. The horse, however, seemed to sense danger as well, and began to speed its pace, ever so gently, to save itself and its master.[/FONT]

[FONT=UFTimes New Roman, serif]A whisper could be heard, drowning out the other voices in the background, and more and more the two bodyguards had the feeling of being alone. One of them carried a bow, the other a longsword, and both kept their weapons out and at the ready. The bowman pointed his bow, searching for his target and found a shadow moving in an alleyway. He fired an arrow dead-on and was certain he had hit the target. He ran toward the alley, to search for their fallen foe, but did not return. There was no scream.[/FONT]

[FONT=UFTimes New Roman, serif]The swordsman began to become very nervous, and called out his friend's name, but there was no response. He ran toward the alleyway, and searched for his friend. The young man lay still and silent, face down on the ground. The guard was about to kneel to check the body, when he felt an icy hand grip his mouth and terror mount—then only darkness.[/FONT]

[FONT=UFTimes New Roman, serif]The creature took sight of its target, as the horse tried to scramble away without losing its master. The creature approached, ever so silently, nearer and nearer, until it finally overtook the animal, and grabbed its reins. The horse collapsed in sheer terror, knocking its poor master from the saddle onto the ground. The knight's leg was broken in the fall, and he snapped awake from the shock. He watched in blind terror as the creature came toward him, preparing to strike...[/FONT]
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chipper_atmacneil · Oct 5, 2007

Kestrel13! said: ↑

Absolutely brilliant Chipper! I read the first excerpt in red thoroughly, and I was swept up in the story line 100%! Your writing style is excellent, thanks for sharing that with us! One day I can say..."Do you know I knew Chipper in the MG's forums!!..."wave
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Thank you.

Chipper

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