Help! Need Good Company Like Geek Squad

My mother with Alzheimers has done it again; she lets people from "MicroSoft" or "your IT company" get on her computer and do all sorts of unspeakable things to it, all the while charging her! Eeek! I can deal with the credit card company about the charges, but I can't keep going to her house (a long trip and I have a special needs kid) to fix stuff, plus I'm not sure what I'm doing. She needs some sort of service where they can remove all the crap on her computer, make sure it's not a "slave", and prevent them from Remote Accessing her computer. I would normally think of Geek Squad, but I've read some horror stories here. We live near Los Angeles, so does anyone have some suggestions who we can use?

I am having her paste a sign on the bottom of her computer that says "I do not do business with people who contact me on the phone or on my computer. I refer them to my daughter." I hope that will help!

 

I’m not sure whether you have qualified this per specialist advice or if this is your opinion from personal observations.

If your mother has been diagnosed with Alzheimers, the specialist should be able to give you guidance. If not, I strongly recommend you seek:

• medical advice (your mother may have some other medical condition with symptoms that appear to be Alzheimers).
• proper support as a carer – try http://www.alz.org/socal/index.asp

Most importantly, your mother should not be living alone, because she is a danger to herself (e.g. can leave things on the stove which may set the place on fire; leave taps running in bathtub which may overflow and cause water damage – besides running up a water bill; she may also fall and badly injure herself with no one about to assist – image if she were to break a hip, leg, arm?)

If I am alarming you, I am only alerting you to possible scenarios. These are all considerations for her safety if she lives alone at home…because she should have someone 24/7 supervising and caring for her.

If she has Alzheimers…and without knowing what level of Alzheimers/type she is suffering (only a specialist can properly diagnose this), then I strongly suggest:

• she should only have supervised computer access by someone who is in the house giving her 24/7 care - else completely remove the internet service so she may continue using the computer without the possibility of causing problems you outlined.
  
• or put a security password on her computer so only you or whoever is supervising her can gain access to the computer - and then supervise her if she is on the internet.

As for the charges, you should go directly to the company/companies escalating to whoever has some clout, advising them of the situation, while also ensuring no one without proper/your authority may access the computer in future. Hopefully, you may get some monetary reimbursement.

If you get no satisfaction regarding the charges, there should be someone like an Ombudsman in the area where you can complain to, outlining the fact your mother being a vulnerable person has been wrongly taken advantage of given her condition and consequently charges incurred.

This is a serious matter which cannot be overlooked and if need be, seek legal advice, try http://www.legal-aid.org/en/home.aspx

I don’t know who is your mother’s Primary Carer. It sounds as though you may be. If you are, you should speak to a lawyer (one who specialises in Power of Attorney and Guardianship) for advice regarding having yourself appointed to this position (or someone you and your mother explicitly trusts as this is a great responsibility involving the wellbeing, health, finances and property of the person concerned – your mum).

See if there is a local community legal centre who may assist/guide/refer you. Perhaps this service may be able to assist you:
http://www.legal-aid.org/en/home.aspx

If you are not your mother’s Primary Carer, then who is?

There must be someone who can step up and take responsibility of your mother – I find her position one of great concern and something urgently needs to be done not only for her sake, but also for your own as you obviously have a lot on your plate.

Perhaps Major Geek may provide some advice here. (Personally, I would be inclined to completely remove her access to the internet without someone supervising.)

I find it alarming that your mother (if living alone) whom you claim has Alzheimers allows some stranger into the house and has access to her computer.

For your mother’s sake and your own sanity, you really need to remedy the situation by seeking support:

• try http://www.alz.org/socal/index.asp regarding support as a carer from this organisation.

• is there anyone you explicity and completely trust who may assist with the care of your mother (siblings, relatives, close friends)?
• get legal advice concerning guardianship and power of attorney - try http://www.legal-aid.org/en/home.aspx if they can't help, ask for a referral, possibly pro bono assistance (you may/may not fit the criteria for such help - only they can discern this when you see them).

Hope that helps - primary importance is your mum FIRST for her safety, well being and health.

As for the computer, you should consider removal of the internet service so she may safely use it without incurring the problems you spoke of. Unless there is supervision whenever she is on the internet.

Cheers

LS

 

Which Windows is the PC using?

 

Ooops! Too long if I post a reply; will answer below.

 

Gosh, so much info/questions, I don't know where to start! Thank you, everyone, for your comments and concern. I'll guess I'll deal with legalsuit's post first.

First, yes, my mother's doctor (who specializes in geriatrics) says she does have Alzheimers. She has signed forms saying he can talk to me and I work in close conjunction with him. She has no short-term memory and keeps forgetting that I've warned her not to deal with ANY person who contacts her about sales, charities, etc. and to refer them all to me. Hence the note I'm having her paste on the bottom of her computer for her to look at.

Secondly, I want to assure you that my mother is not living alone and is quite safe. However, he 85 yr. old husband, while strong, healthy and sharp, is computer illiterate. He does the driving and cooking and pays the bills, and it is he who asked about the charges on her credit card statements for the "services" of these scammers. He takes good care of her, but he has his own interests and is not watching over her shoulder as she navigates the web.

No one enters my mother's home; they contact her on the phone or by pop-up ads or e-mails. They present themselves as either from Microsoft or her cable company or as former members of the Geek Squad that serviced her computer several years ago. Then they talk her through setting up Remote Access so they can then control her computer. She said the last one was on her computer for hours while he "fixed" it! And these are not local companies; these are scammers from India in most cases. I have called her credit card company once before about 2 charges by 2 separate companies (one supposedly in England and the other in India), yet the svc. rep said they both had the same merchant code and were one and the same. She understood the situation and removed the charges at that time.

We are getting ready to set up Power of Attorney in the next month or so. She is taken care of in all these matters and my only question at this time is how to find someone who can reliably "de-bug" her computer and block her from allowing someone to Remote Access her computer. But I am touched by your concern, so thank you.

 

Now, for the rest of you! Again, thank you for your time and the suggestions you've made.

She is using Windows 8 and I'm using Windows 7, so it's very hard for me to figure stuff out when I visit her and try to fix things. Plus, I'm not an IT sort of gal!

She uses the web for e-mail and surfing for info and entertainment, etc. She does a little shopping on there, so I am concerned about her credit cards. Thank God she doesn't do any on-line banking! She doesn't do any maintenance, so I did set her up with a few things, such as automatic disk cleanup, Advanced System Care, and Iobit Malware, so that I don't have to keep going over there. (It is 45 minutes each way and I have an autistic teenaged son who goes into major meltdown mode at changes in his routine.)

We cannot change her telephone number (she'd never remember it) or take away her credit card. She uses the card when her husband takes her to the grocery store, while he sits outside reading. We understand her desire to maintain her "independence" and dignity. However, perhaps we can have him hold the credit card and give it to her only when he takes her shopping, so that is an idea.

I really like the idea of setting up a general user account and not have her account as Admin, so that I can lock her out of turning on Remote Access.

These are all very useful ideas and I thank you for brain storming with me! Are there any suggestions on how to find a good computer maintenance company for this sort of situation. As I mentioned, I would have gone to Geek Squad, but I've read things on here that make me hesitate.

 

I would like to suggest to MajorGeeks, given the sensitivity and the fact you are dealing with a Post concerning a vulnerable person and depending on the type of information in your response, perhaps in this instance and to ensure as much security as possible to maintain privacy, you may consider providing a response to whatever solution you offer as a Private Mail directly to whitequeen96.

Just a thought.

 

I don't see the issue. No personally identifiable info has been exchanged and the suggestions given here and in the other thread will be useful for others dealing with the same issue. With more baby boomers hitting their later years, it will be an increasingly common problem.

 

OK, here's what I think I'll do. I'll take her computer to Office Depot to have all the bad stuff taken off, then have them set it up with me as the Admin. so I can be sure she can't open Remote Access. And I'm going to make a sleeve for her credit card that says something like "To be used at the grocery store ONLY" to remind her not to give it out on the phone or on-line. She's agreed that if she wants anything on-line, she'll send me the link and I will order it for her.

I've talked to the credit card company and I'll have to set up 3-way calling so she can come on and put me on as an authorized user. We'll cancel the card she used, get a replacement, and dispute the charges from these creeps. The service rep said this is a growing industry, with these thieves targeting the elderly.

She's agreed to all of this and we'll set up the Power of Attorney on the same visit when I set up her computer again. Does this sound like I have my bases covered? Any other suggestions? And I do want to thank all of you for your help!

 

Possible to also write it on the card in irremovable black or red ink so it is impossible to miss reading it?

If this means you are noted as co-user meaning your authority is also required for card use, then that is an excellent move. (We have similar bank accounts here where two signatures are required for any transactions.)

Good! Unfortunately vulnerable persons such as your mum are always prime targets. I hope you get results and recoup those charges. You can always try escalating and/or getting legal advice if need be. Hope it all works out for you.

Legally to be able to act as her advocate and represent her in all matters whether medical, financial, etc, you need to be appointed Power Of Attorney (POA) and Guardian.

Not sure how it works in the US/your state, but I’m pretty sure similar rules apply for POA and guardianship. There are different levels of POA, so have the lawyer guide you through to ensure you have the right level of authority to cover medical, finance, and what ever other areas need to be considered.

Bear in mind that while you are reviewing with the lawyer to make sure “all bases are covered”, your mum is the lawyer’s client, not you. You will be assisting your mum by outlining and reviewing with the lawyer how to be your mother’s advocate.

Now is the time to do it while your mum is lucid and aware so the lawyer can get proper instructions from her because she is essentially the one appointing you POA.

You are a lovely caring daughter, your mum is so lucky to have you. Bless you.

Cheers

LS

 

Ask them to have a look at this program.
https://sourceforge.net/projects/surun/

Here's detailed instructions.
http://www.dedoimedo.com/computers/surun.html

 

Thank you, Eldon, SuRun looks as if it would be very useful for this situation! I'll definitely discuss it with the tech at Office Depot who will work on my mother's computer.

And legalsuit, unfortunately we can't require a second signature, as my mother still goes to the grocery store herself and neither her husband and I can always be with her for that. However, your idea of putting a note on the credit card itself is a very good idea. And when I expressed concern to her credit card company that she had authorized these charges from the crooks and that she might be held liable, the service rep. assured me that she wouldn't. (Whew!) And thank you for the kind words; I'm lucky to have the best mother in the world. (I call her every day and she always cheers "hoorray!" or say "Oh, good!" each time. How can you not feel blessed by that every day?!) So now I feel much better about everything and I appreciate all your help!

 

If it were me I would get the limit on the credit card set very low. It could save you some worry in the future.
Good luck.

 

That's another good idea! Thanks!

 

You should look into a credit freeze. Your mom has probably given out a lot of personal information to these crooks.
https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0497-credit-freeze-faqs

 

Oh man . . . I'm sure you're right. I was thinking about getting LifeLock for her, but I think your idea is better and cheaper. Thank you for the suggestion!

 

This may seem a bit "retro" but...
The only time I felt I needed a credit card was when I had a job involving frequent travel.
When I stopped traveling for business, I got rid of the credit cards and never looked back.
Don't her local retailers accept cash?

 

I agree with you.
But, those thugs/gangbangers have no problem robbing an elderly person.

 

What a concept! Actually, I hadn't really thought about it. Doh! (Boy, that shows how seldom I use cash.)
She lives in a very nice area, but I'm not really comfortable with her keeping or carrying much money, as she doesn't get to the bank very often.

 

Perhaps you might want to get her pre-paid debit cards instead of carrying cash.

 

But wouldn't that entail the same risks of being lost or stolen?

 

Maybe so, but you're out only the amount the card is for. There may be other protections available also.

 

Why don't you speak to the card provider to see best possible option - on average most providers have pretty much the same offerings, others throwing in some sort of "candy" to tempt loyalty.

Some providers have a card where the same account allows you to have a debit card for deposits/withdrawals/EFTPOS/cheque transactions against a savings account.

Debit cards should operate the same as Credit cards for purchases offering the exact same protections, difference as you know being any/all transaction made to/against the holder's savings account.

Best to speak to the financial institute(s) for the best available options.

You may need to shop around to get what you want if the current card provider doesn't provide ALL/ANY options you require to keep things safe for your mum.

 

Also check with the retailer she frequents the most.
In South Africa we have numerous retailers that offer interest-free credit with up to 6 months to pay.

 

You're wise being on alert now because there is nothing worse than being in panic mode to action items when "things go pear shape" nearing crisis mode as parents/loved ones move into higher care level modes where they need help for their health, wellbeing (and if advanced assistance needed) aged care either at home or alternate accommodation.

One thing that particularly worries me is sometimes seeing parents/loved ones can no longer live at home and need to go into 24/7 supervised care accommodation, in particular those suffering dementia/Alzheimer. Their family carers become lost.

There are different levels of accommodation/supervised care of which not everyone is aware. Loved ones are often placed into the wrong level of care accommodation, (and then the more callous type of family just walks away).

By different levels I mean for example if gauging mental/health capacity from 1-4 levels, 1 being needing some supervision because of some physical infirmity and/or memory loss status but independent (e.g. person independent enough to shower/dress/feed themselves) to a 4 needing intensive care (e.g. person totally dependent, can't self-shower/clean or dress or feed themselves) which would be the equivalent of needing a nursing home type of accommodation.

It does take some homework, networking and seeking support/assistance which is out there to get the right level of care if sought. There is nothing worse than placing someone around a 1-2 level in with people of 3-4 levels...it would be enough to send them over the edge quicker than would naturally occur.

 

Spot on.

People seriously need to think timely about Wills.

Under our law (Succession Act), if there is no Will, eligible relatives (not necessarily those the deceased wanted as beneficiaries) will inherit the intestate’s (person who died without a will) estate. If there are no eligible relatives, the estate passes to the State.

So if the intestate had specific person(s) in mind to inherit their estate, their wish is never known nor acted upon. (A court battle later is often avoided by those left behind because it is too costly.)

There is a long list of concerns everyone should consider about making a Will, but prime concerns are:

· Capacity to make a will - People who make wills must have testamentary capacity;

· Guardians – if there are infant children or someone formerly under will maker's guardianship;

· Beneficiaries and what should happen if a beneficiary dies shortly after the will maker;

· While it is arguable, “Do It Yourself” Will packages may risk its validity. Wills should be properly and legally drawn up and witnessed.

Something else people don’t think about is ensuring their Will is kept up to date. For example, beneficiary names may have to change due to circumstances. So the will needs to be adjusted to reflect the Will Maker’s current wishes.

Many argue “Who cares, once I’m dead what matters?”

Or consider it “too creepy” a subject to contemplate.

The fact remains there are still those we love left behind.

People should look to see what happens in their country’s state. One should consider if they are happy enough with the outcome and how the government deals with their property and/or those in their care/guardianship if no Will is drawn (that is if they care enough)?

Else, I suggest one seriously considers how their estate is handled/what beneficiaries inherit their property; and how those under their care/guardianship be managed.

Always seek proper legal advice (some legal community centres may provide this free).

 

I'm stuck in this weird situation with my mother. She'll be 80 in a couple of weeks, and while she's certainly still getting around, driving, etc., she is remarkably computer stupid. And sometimes I think willfully "forgets" things. To the point where I have more than once called her doctor's office to ask them if they can evaluate different things I notice. But that's where I get stuck. I am the youngest, and not on any of the lists of people allowed to do anything. That falls to my two oldest sisters, with the third as an alternate. I have no legal standing for anything. But I'm the one who lives with her and sees the things no one else does.

I've set her up with her own computer that she has limited admin rights to, but I'm still in there at least once a week because she's done something or clicked something or who knows what the heck she's done. Luckily, she's still smart enough to not give her credit card information out, and since she never answers her phone all calls go to the answering machine and the scam people pretty much never leave a message.

Basically, everything is set up as all the above suggestions say it should be, but I have zero authorization to participate and have to get my sister to do it. It's kind of a giant PITA. But least none of us are in charge of my dad, who does have Parkinson's and Alzheimer's (and is almost 82). My stepmom gets to handle all that, and at Christmas she told us she's got him on a waiting list to get into a full-care nursing home. Had to be done; last summer he took himself for a walk in the woods while she was in the shower, and was only found by police dogs a few hours later. I thank all the powers that be pretty much daily that I'm not legally part of that whole mess, other than him being my dad.

 

If you’re living with your mum, it sound pretty much as though you are the “primary carer” because you would be the one handling the care required on a day-to-day basis…unless of course your siblings are taking the time to visit daily to attend to your mum’s/dad’s care and needs (which I very much doubt). It sounds like you do the daily care/supervision on site and your siblings do everything else legally required.

If you wish to extend your role as the Primary Carer and achieve proper status, you would need to seek Guardianship/Power of Attorney (one or both) which of course needs to be designated by your mum so long as she has capacity (which it appears she does from what you note – a lawyer drawing up such a document(s) would confirm this before actioning).

Re your dad:

The move into a “full-care nursing home” is going to be a difficult all ‘round transition for all of you including your dad. What I would like to suggest here would be if someone your dad is familiar with (one of his children/relative/whoever) could somehow get involved with the facility…e.g. sometimes acting on a volunteer basis during the transition makes it easier for the parent seeing a familiar face in strange surroundings; (just because they may have Parkinson’s/Alzheimer’s doesn’t mean they are completely mindless –such persons do pick up things familiar which sets them at ease). It also lifts the status of the parent having someone they know within their own environment.

It is also helpful for your own transition if somehow you familiarise yourself (e.g. as a volunteer) with the environment before/during transition. It can be a good learning curve while gaining a better understanding of this (bitch) of a condition.

Just a suggestion...

 

I'm not really a caregiver for Mom by any stretch of the imagination, other than making sure her dinners fall within her doctor-mandated dietary restrictions. She handles everything for herself, even stuff we really wish she wouldn't. I just see her every day and so notice more things that aren't necessarily obvious to someone who doesn't live here. She has this idea that I am incapable of taking care of myself, much less anyone else...she's worried about the few days in May I'm going to dog-sit for my niece, for pity's sake! Basically, there is no way on this earth anybody is going to do anything to give me any legal standing whatsoever when it comes to anything with my mother. In a way, that's easier for me, since my sisters have to handle all the BS.

As for Dad... Unfortunately, Dad rarely has any idea who any of us are. He calls my stepmother, his wife of 34 years, "that woman who's always here", and it's been a good 18 months at least since he's recognized any of us kids. As long as he can take his imaginary cat, he should be fine.

I'm being flippant, sorry. It's the only way I know how to deal with it without completely losing my crap. http://i.imgur.com/gTumb.gif My stepmom plans to spend at least a few hours a day with him once he goes, but we figure he won't be there very long anyway. He's 20-ish years into the Parkinson's and 3 into the Alzheimer's...there's not really a lot of time left.

 

Regardless, you’re still acting as a Primary Carer as you’re still overseeing her daily care where needed – even if she is self-sufficient (which appears more than what your siblings are doing).

Your mum’s age is showing and regardless whatever age you are, your mum still sees you as a young girl (part of their condition) and mum’s “baby”, someone she wants to continue taking care of.

In some ways consider yourself lucky…there is a lot of “BS” bureaucracy that unfortunately comes with aged care facilities.

Things sound tough re your dad.

I salute you, your mum and family for being with him so many years while accommodating him at home. That’s a rarity. Most families are done within the first year of the condition being recognised.