iPod Help

I'm not sure whether to put this under hardware or software, but I think it's a software driver issue. I've been having problems updating my 4G 20GB iPod. I've got a Pentium IV 3.00 Ghz 1024 Ram running on Windows XP Service Pack 2 with all the updates. The reason I decided to ask for help here is because those crappy apple forums give you those dumb replies like try the 5 Rs. So now to the problem:

In the morning, I boot up my computer, everything is fine. I plug in my ipod, it starts up itunes, syncs, eject. Perfect. However, ( I usually leave my computer on for most of the day) when I plug in my ipod after the first sync, the ipods hard drive spins, then clicks and iTunes completely locks up. Any windows that were over itunes and are altered are "frozen" into the iTunes box which is a definate sign of "not responding" I control-alt-delete to confirm this. Not only does this start locking up itunes but it slows down my entire machine in general and the ipod isn't even updating!!! Out of desperation, I try to go into My Computer to eject it from there but if I right click on the Ipod drive my computer locks up toO! Now ive got two non responsives and my computer is just running slower than molasses. HOWEVER, if I restart my computer and then plug in my ipod, it syncs fine. WHY after every restart, can it only sync once sucessfully before crapping out.

What I've tried:

-The 5 Rs (reset (soft) ipod, reinstall itunes, reinstall ipod software, reboot computer, reformat ipod)

I've reformatted the ipod with the updater AND windows so I really think this is a driver conflict

Read just about every suggestion in the apple forum

Putting ipod into disk mode and reformatting from there

So anyways I've now lost my playcount list about 8 times reinstalling itunes and its starting to tick me off because the whole point of a sync is to be an automatic and painless update.

I don't want any replies saying that apple products just straight suck and therefore i should purchase an iRiver, because I am a Windows/PC user myself and I would never purchase a macintosh computer.

If anyone has enough knowledge on which drivers could be conflicting and causing this bizarre problem, your help would be greatly appreciated. I've been trying to solve this problem on my own for about 2 months now with very limited sucess and its driving me up the wall.