My Aunt Sandra

Hi all,

I just found out some very disturbing news about my aunt Sandra, who is my mother's oldest sister and like a 2nd mother to me. She has a malignant brain tumor. My mother took her to the doctor today, who demanded an MRI. When the results came back the doctor phoned Mom at Sandra's house and demanded they come back to his office. They will be scheduling surgery for Sandra tomorrow, but very little is known. Mom will call me tomorrow morning and let me know more. The tumor is very large, swollen, and there is a chance that Sandra will not leave the operating table. If she does live, she will have to go through chemo. Mother says that Sandra is in a very bad state mentally to the point of not being able to spell her name on the patient information sheets at the doctor's office. (Sandra is normally an exceptionally brilliant woman.) This is due to the tumor pressing her brain, I guess, and the doctors say that she may stay this way for the rest of her life. Nothing is really known at this point except the severity of the situation. This is all very unexpected, as Sandra is only 62 years old and has always enjoyed remarkable health.

I am very shaken up right now & I hope my writing makes some sense. I am really trying... I doubt I will be around a computer much for the next week or so as (regardless of what my mother tells me when she calls) I am heading home to Alabama to be with my family. I will check back when I can, whenever I can find a computer with internet access. There are many people here in this forum whom I am very close to and regard as close friends. My life has not been sane lately and you all have provided me with hope. I am asking you to pray for Aunt Sandra and our family in our time of need. If you don't believe in prayer, I'll gladly take your positive energy or your healing thoughts. We need all we can get right now...

I guess I always thought that my mother and her siblings were invincible, since they are all so strong. They all grew up dirt poor and each carved their nick in the world and made something special of their lives... This is really tough to face. I'm going to grab a few items I will need from the store, find someone to feed my pets and pack. Please let your loved ones know how you feel, people... Life is so short and we never know if we'll be here tomorrow.

Much heartfelt thanks to everyone in advance,

Gina

 

I'm not much for words when it comes to this sort of thing. My thoughts are with you and so are these very important links..

http://www.oncolyticsbiotech.com/tech.html
http://virtualtrials.com/REOLYSIN.cfm

Reolysin in google.

 

Sorry to hear that. If it's any condolence, a good friend of mine has gone through the same thing. She’s doing fine now and works full time. Still has the tumor but her hair grew back from chemo and she tends not to take life so seriously. She refers to herself as a blond with ½ a brain. By the way, you're looking like a million bucks today.

IMSA

 

you are of course in my prayers, as is your aunt, and all in your family. stay strong. much aloha.

 

It's always a sad time when loved ones are ill. I hope your Aunt comes through okay.

 

Gina, we well miss you and look forward to continuing our talks when you get back.
All our prayers and love are with you.
Bless you

 

Take care Gina. We will miss you, and you and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

 

You can be there for your family now. And, remember to take care of yourself, as well.

May God be with you and your family during this challenge.

Robert

 

Thanks to all of you... I imagine that the surgery will be within the next few days and I will post back here then and let you all know something. I know this isn't a pleasant topic but it really does help me to have this support from everyone.

IMSA, I hope my aunt is as lucky as your friend. She did survive having a tornado hit her house about 12 years ago. Her two sons were with her, they didn't have time to reach the basement and so they all ran inside a closet. At one point the three of them had to grab and hold on tightly for dear life to the others in order to keep each other from flying into the vicious winds. After that tornado hit, the only thing left of their house was that one closet where they all had taken refuge! For weeks afterward we combed the city, miles from where they had lived, and found peices of their belongings. If anyone CAN survive this it will be my aunt... Of course, I don't know how bad it is yet and I hope that her brain has not been damaged beyond repair. (I know nothing about brain tumors.)

Interesting medication Kodo. I wonder if it can be obtained in the U.S.? I will find out!

You are all wonderful...
Thank you!

Gina

 

Take care Gina and travel safely. May God be with you and your family.

 

I'll be praying for you and your family. I know you'll be a help and comfort to them, whatever is ahead of you all. Take care of each other.

 

Seems like we are both sharing tradegy in our families Gina, you with your aunt and me with my sister. I will be certain to say a prayer as I pray for my sister's continued recovery. If there is anything else that I can do please let me know.

Wraith aka Jack

 

Ginanatl:
I feel for you. My father was recently diagnosed with a brain tumour. They operated and were unable to get it all. Biopsy results sayed that it was a level 4 and that he has 1 year o a year and a half. Since the diagnosis he has gone downhill fast.
My advice to you (in my limited experience):
1. Cherish the good times -don't be afraid to laugh when things are funny- Dad now has trouble finding the right words which leads to some weird statements -he sees the humour in it and while it is disturbing we sometimes (he and I) laugh about it.
2. Lean on friends: you never know how much you need them untill a situation like this arises.
3. Don't be afraid to ask for help: Friends/familly are there to help and they can: just ask.
4. (this may sound weirdly specific) Food: My mother and I have found that one of the most helpfull things a person can do is prepare a meal for us: so when someone says 'is there anything I can do?' tell them that a meal would be wonderful(l). -It saves you 30 minutes to an hour of cooking and cleaning and you can use that time to gather your strength or spnd it with your loved one.
5. Have hope but be reallistic: Miracles happen -spontaneous remission does occur, but no one is helped by burying there head in the sand: honesty with yourself and your loved one is a positive, helpful(l) thing.
6. Take care of yourself: Your loved ones need you strong -so sleep when you can and give yourself time to do 'normal' things: You need these things to be able to be strong when you're *really* needed.
I'm typing this as my dad sits behind me...we get little sleep but we appreciate the time we have.
I hope all goes well for you and your familly.
Yours,
522.

 

Some good advice from fiver. You and your Aunt are, of course in my thoughts and prayers. I've had a close call with cancer 20 years ago, but got through it all (with some aches and pains), but at least I'm still here.

As has been said, basically just absorb and cherish life and the life of those close to you while we still have it. If there's one thing life has taught me, it's that there are some things we cannot control or provide much help about, no matter how desperate we may wish to, and no matter how unfair it may be. But he/she that has genuine friends and family will never have to fight it alone.


Take care. I hope this made a little sense.


..Regards...Phantom.

 

I am so sorry to hear this Gina. I, too, will be praying for you and your family. Take care

Gal

 

Likewise Gina, I pray all goes well.

 

Hello Gina, I am sorry to hear of your misfortune and I hope all goes well for your Aunt and yourself. If you ever need to chat you know where to find some very helpful and considerate people.

 

Re: She made it through surgery!

Hey everyone,

I have been on the road for the last few hours so I hope this makes sense. (It is almost 6 AM & I haven't been to bed, I've been driving from Birmingham to Atlanta and all hyped up on caffeine!)

My Aunt had the tumor removed on Thursday morning and she's better-- last night she was after me & my mother to get back home and my cousin from Colorado to have her eye infection examined by a doctor, so the really bad part is over. She is the same person, at least mentally, that she was before this happened, and we are so, so lucky! Sandra will be getting out of ICU tomorrow and her daughter & husband remain with her. My other aunts are coming to visit today. Aunt Sandra will have to have chemo but she is a very strong women & I know she will pull through.

My heartfelt thanks to everyone here who prayed for us and sent healing thoughts our way... You all are such a comfort!

Jack, I don't know what the nature of your family tragedies are but if you need a shoulder, I'm here pal... You too fiver, and thanks for the wisdom. I have read everyone's response and am in tears now. (Happy tears, I promise. I've been in "happy tears" since Sandra woke up!) I appreciate everyone's kind words and thoughts, if I can ever be there for any of you please let me know...

Oh dear, almost 6 AM and I must make myself go to bed somehow. I'll certainly be back when I wake up this afternoon to catch up on all the gossip and what's new in everyone's lives. I hope you are all having an excellent 4th of July!

Bless you all & Take care,
Gina


You're right Teresa, miracles DO happen!

 

wow, another good news post, I'm very relieved to hear it Gina, hopefully the chemo won't be too tough on your aunt

 

Yes, great news. I'm glad things turned out well. Good luck with the rest of the battle.

 

Re: She made it through surgery!

Wonderful news Gina, so happy that the operation went well. We will continue prayers for your aunt, Wraith's sister and AbbySue's granddaughter.
Sleep well, you probably haven't done much of that this past week.
We look forward to seeing you back (and Wraith and AbbySue also) it's been hard on a lot of friends this week.

 

Re: She made it through surgery!

Ditto on what lostkiwi said.

 

Double ditto!

Sleep well Gina. SO glad to hear it went well. We'll catch up more when you're rested.

 

Gina, my family tradegy is my sister's recent car accident which has left her in critical condition since June 2nd. Here is the link and I update her status as often as I am able to.....

An urgent Request

I will continue to update her status until she is out of danger and as time allows. I am now working 6 days a week, 10 hours a day so my time has become quite precious. I'll ttyl.

Oops, almost forgot to congratulate you on your good news. God answers prayers and sometimes they are even answered in the manner that WE want them to be answered. May He continue to bless you and yours!

Wraith aka Jack

 

so glad everything went ok. my heartfelt empathy for this trying time. your aunt will continue to be in my prayers. a flower for you. aloha

 

Hey, glad things are fairing a little better for your Aunt. A lot of people are going through extra tradgedies a.t.m.

More good news at M.G.'s!

 

Glad things went well. You still have my prayers until she is fully recovered.

 

Thank you all so much! I pretty much slept all day and most of the night but I may have needed it after being away (and mostly awake) for several days. The results on the tumor came back and it is indeed malignant, but we expected as much, and I will keep updating this thread as soon as I know more.

I am just now reading the threads on Debbie (Jack's sister) and Kadinz (Teresa's granddaughter.) Thanks for mentioning Teresa's granddaughter, Kiwi, as I have been away and didn't know anything other than that she had a new one... I truly hope that things fare as well for them as they are for my aunt and I will be praying for them too...

Thanks for the lovely flower Laurie! Yep, Phantom, it seems as though we are having lots of tragedies here at MG... For me, it helped to have you all to care, and I know it means a lot to Jack (Wraith) and Teresa (AbbySue.)

Big hugs to all of you,
Gina

 

That is too bad about your aunt, Gina but, hopefully, with the chemo, the courage your family is showing and the strength of all the prayer, wonderful things can still happen.
Susan

 

Big hugs back Gina. If your schedule permits, rest up the next couple of days as well. Takes more than one day to catch up.

My mom has had two rounds with cancer; one in the 60s, and another one (unrelated) about 6 years ago. And is currently cancer free & chugging along just fine. The Big C isn't always the final word. There's hope.

 

Hey Susan, Shivers!
God, I really hope she pulls out of it, but I am optimistic. Sandra has weathered all kinds of storms and is a very strong woman. She also worries too much about her kids and this (believe it or not) is the reason I doubt she will be leaving any time soon, if will has anything to do with it. I believe it does!

Bless you all for caring, and
HUGE Hugs to you!

Gina

 

Thanks G.T, that is great about your mom! Another thing that makes me hopeful is that many of you have family and friends that have beat this thing!

Big hugs,
Gina

 

Gina, most areas have cancer support groups organized, either through local churches or community groups. See if you can get her involved in one once she's on her feet. They're usually a mix of those recovering, and those that have recovered. It helps, both in encouraging and helping others, and being encouraged by those that have beaten it. In a group like that, obviously not ALL are survivors, but dealing with it directly is better than trying to put it in the back of your mind (and most friends/family tend to avoid the topic, and don't help deal with it), and helping others is always rewarding, plus your aunt will be helped by the others. My folks are involved with one through their church, and it's been rewarding for them.

 

That's a really good idea! Sandra has a son who got involved with drugs & alcohol in college, and she is no stranger to support groups, and will probably go on her own. THIS is what really concerns me: While I was typing a post my mother called (at 2 AM?? My mom goes to bed with the chickens, usually...) She is afraid that Sandra's husband will not "step up to the plate" on caring for Sandra (Mom's sister.) My mother and her other sister are busy caring for my grandmother, who has suffered with Alzheimer's' for years and just had a severe stroke. Mom is a great caretaker, but she (as my whole family) tend to "worry" too much, and I would like to try to get my mother involved in a support group, although it will not be easy. I know these groups can be of tremendous help to survivors and their loved ones and will begin to look for a few in my mother's area. Every little bit helps!

Thanks,
Gina

 

Tell your mom to take one step at a time. Matthew 6: 34. Don't worry about what may not even happen.

Sounds like your mom already has enough on her plate, but do encourage her to go too, at least some. It will help her too.

 

I doubt that Sandra will even need too much care taking, or I believe that we should just wait and see, but Mom is such a worrier! In the past, to get her to do anything like this I have had to first go myself, then make up a reason I "needed" her there. But if that will get her through the doors I will, and I agree that this would be a good thing for her. Perhaps I can persuade Aunt Sandra to go, then get my mom to drive her on the days my other aunt has my grandmother... then Mom will be there anyway.
(I'll have to be sneaky but I'll do whatever is neccessary...)

 

Sounds like a plan.

 

Yeah. I see nothing wrong with subtle manipulation of the people you care about, but only if it's for their own good.

 

Listen to him Gina, that is some very sound advice.

 

I definitely will! I just have to maneuver getting them in the door, which is sometimes the hard part. (Or it will be for MY mother...)

 

I've been through this path of Cancer diagnosis, and Doctors pronouncing death sentences before, although it was long ago (about 25 years). Comes from being an Industrial Chemist for much too long. But anyway, I just learnt to carry on each day at a time, as G.T. said, and I'm still around, a bit worse for ware, but still here.

So why am I telling you this? Just to give a personal anecdote that things, or circumstances often take a sudden turn for the worse, or better, as the case may be. But there is most always, family, friends, Church, and community support out there. So one doesn't have to go it aloe, so to speak.

 

Thanks Phantom. I have never been through anything like this personally, not with the cancer, so any advice I can get really helps and is help I can pass on. Sandra is no stranger to church, support groups and community support while my mother is the one who has avoided reaching out to anyone outside our family. So I can help Sandra right now by helping my mother realize that there is no shame in receiving help from those around her. I am grateful that you are all telling me of your friends and loved ones who survived the ordeal, otherwise I would not have as much hope!

Thank you!
Gina