My Mum

I was gonna mention this to Goddess in private, but I think it's okay since I posted about it elsewhere.

Anyway, my mother passed away on the 9th. The hospital ended her dialysis, apparently in collaboration with the hospice she had been going to for respite. The staff there yanked out her lines.

Then to make matters worse, paramedics said nurses overdosed her on something at the family home. She couldn't respond up until her passing, which was 5 days later, I believe.

Well, I think they know they messed up. They returned, to ask for a log sheet. My sister has refused to speak to them...

 

Sad news and sorry it ended this way for your mum. It is never easy losing loved ones so sending best wishes for a happier future.
Take care and look after yourself ;-)
Condolences for your loss

 

Thanks.

It's very sad to have mum passing away under these circumstances. I can only assume she was pressured into ending the dialysis, and may have wanted to die gracefully without saying anything.

Right up until she became unresponsive, we could kind of tell she was just getting on with it, losing her appetite and drinking less, sadly. I think she did it that way so not to cause any alarm.

It's hard to tell, because while she previously signed a form to not be revived, she claimed to have changed her mind and had been saved before, after a seizure. But only because my little sis witnessed it happening and did the hand compressions.

That mum packed her things and left the hospice to come home also presents a degree of suspicion. But one can only guess. That still doesn't explain how these nurses overdosed her in the living room. But unfortunately, the paramedics admitted to that occurring and then said they were backing out from getting involved.

If her lines were removed forcefully, that would be illegal. I believe, anyway. But again, neither my sister or I had any kind of confession from mum, or paperwork from any third party, apart from the NHS saying her dialysis was terminated. So it's just not possible to say for certain.

Mum seemed to previously assume the fluid was supposed to be removed during dialysis. My sister tried to tell her it hadn't been. We just thought she was confused because of the toxins not being tended to. It was becoming worse.

Either this was a tactic mum used to deter us from thinking about it, or she really didn't know. But again, it's just impossible to know from all of the mixed signals involved.

I think the hospice staff were told the aortic aneurysm in her abdomen had gotten close to rupturing. So for all anyone knows, maybe mum did in fact agree to these end of life measures, and simply kept quiet about the decision for our sake.

I reckon I will never know for sure, as both sides appeared to want to withhold information. But she was basically on high dosages of fentanyl, which is a good indication the stomach pain was extremely bad.

It didn't help that mum was buying duty free cigarettes over the last few years of her life. Who knows what the tar content could have amounted to?

Anyway, after today, I really won't be floating around on gaming forums, as I found they had little reason to remain active on them. But I think social media definitely played a part in message boards declining in people caring over the last whatever number of years. And of course, this one stupid guy I know has regularly been constantly pestering me online too. I covered everything I wanted to talk up about in regards to Capcom, and Konami. So I don't feel like ranting about video games any longer.

 

So sorry SCT Guy for your loss. Sometimes Doctors seem to make decisions for us & then ask us whether we agree with the decision. I’ll post more in a PM on this.

 

I think my sister still wants to pursue legal action. It looks as if there was funny business going on, because after my mum was overdosed, the nurse didn't write the amount, or the batch number. And with her catheters being removed, this caused a delay with getting dialysis, which only happened once. This blunder likely caused an infection, and probably worsened her aneurysm.

My sister wants to see a psychic to reach out to mum, but I told her that these type of people could be crooks. Yes, you would be surprised at how many frauds actually scam people, all for a small amount of money.

I went to see one before in 2014, and while she said things my grandmother would have said for definite, I remembered how my sister seen the same person by herself before I made an appointment. So she probably told her too much. I know you can do online readings on Skype, Zoom, or whatever. But it's best to point your chair at a blank wall. Anything they can spot in the room, they will talk about to kind of guess things about your character, or their character.

I'm still not convinced this kind of practice is in any way genuine. I'd like to believe there is an afterlife, but how do you know if they're legit?

 

I would certainly consider legal action if there’s been negligence at the hospice.

I would avoid psychics as they prey on grieving/vulnerable people & no doubt would mean several visits. They’re probably good at reading faces & their surroundings in order to gather information. Also places like Facebook & X/Twitter for gathering background stories.
I don’t think they’re regulated in any way so there’s no way to know if they’re legit.
Some people swear by them though.

 

I said that to my sister. I told her to keep everything on Facebook private. I know we'll miss mum like crazy, and that's understandable. But the last thing we need is pretend mediums trying to take the piss.

I mean, it's vital that people stop broadcasting things on social media anyway. But I only use Facebook to look for film work, or I could start using it for checking out singles groups. Besides that, it's like most gaming forums are. Vastly toxic and pointless.

 

I hope she does keep comments to just family.
You will, I still miss my Mum.

People post their everyday life on social media & often they’re sharing too much. Unfortunately Facebook is also a way for the unsavoury element in society to find their next victim be that scammers or burglars looking for properties where people are away on holiday.

I hope you find some film work soon.

 

My sister wasn't being very nice to me in the early hours of the day our mum was to be buried. In fact, her attitude was not nice at all.

Basically, the day before, my sisters got a bus to head to the parlour. Beforehand, my younger sister agreed to meet me at a shop that is literally 5 minutes from the place, because it "could close early" (her own jargon). Lookin' Trendy, it's called. This is because I spotted a great Bruce Lee shirt in the window, and my mum was a big fan. So as we were gonna be putting remembrance (parting) gifts in the coffin, I was like, wow. That looks cool.

Of course, with my sister being in La La Land a lot these days, she went to the place before me and acted rather bossy, hereby berating me, cutting me off on her mobile and whatnot, as if I was causing a scene. My dad apparently got a bit funny too, but he's just an old grumpy fart with diabetes.

So the night after at 3 AM or something, which was on the big day, she incessantly text me volatile bull crap, over and over again. I won't say what she was barking at me, due to this being a public forum, and with that drongo James being a nuisance as well and quoting me on that anxiety website, I best not say what she sent to me. Obviously I was having none of it. So she got really nasty.

I think she has been suffering from some type of delusional disorder for the last few years. Like, say we go to a Tesco store or another shop, or whatever in Edinburgh, regardless of where we end up going that day, she accuses these strangers we do not know at all, of being sent to spy on her, or being "associated" with either of her ex partners, who she endlessly yaps on about, despite knowing full well they were just using her. So I have no real advice to provide other than, "Move on and stop letting them rent space in your mind." There's nothing else I can say, really.

For example, if we are seated on a bench, she will often say stuff like, "That woman is recording me on her phone." This is nonsense, though. She was just using a video calling app, talking to a person like she has a right to. Or she believes people are laughing at her. Or she thinks our mum's shadow or scent is in the room, or that these mediums are legitimate. This I find particularly annoying. They are money grabbers.

I literally had her saying to me one day that somebody outside deliberately set a car alarm off to annoy her in the kitchen. I mean, what the hell?

I cannot be bothered with her texting me the same old complaints either. The exact same rants.

She apparently wanted me to chum her to an advice shop yesterday, even though I told her countless of times that they don't even genuinely offer any legal advice, and she attended one months ago. But I reckon I simply failed to notice what she said, as I choose to skim read her ramblings nowadays.

I attended one before, as this seems to be everyone's stalling tactic, because then if you do go book an appointment, they will say you need to call a law firm. So why waste time going there to a drop-in session, when they aren't in any way helpful? Duh!

I mean, seriously. Even though social workers can be scum, I called the social care department yesterday in the hope I can be allocated new support workers.

I feel as if my sister should not be my primary go to person any longer. I do get on with my sister in general. But she is starting to try to take charge too much, with many things I feel I could be capable of sorting out.

Now, I understand having to get accounts transferred into her name has been stressful, as ringing up these places can be a chore. But her mood is overall, becoming irritating.

If I happen to want to address something with anyone I just happen to see in the street, if she is present with me at the time, she quickly acts as if I should not do so. Yet she can let her tongue wag and tell everybody about her problems in the space of a mere 10 minutes. For example, she says her ex gave our mother a heart attack.

100% baloney, and an obvious denial of the real facts.

It was my mum's chain smoking, hypertension, COPD, renal issues and other health matters that ultimately caused her health to go downhill. So looking for a specific person to blame over it I would say is stupid. However, the nurses at that hospice did screw around with her lines. So they are certainly crooked and if anyone should take the rap, it is them.

Nope. It doesn't work like that. And nobody gets to dictate to me how I speak to others. That's my nature.

In an ideal world, yeah, support workers are not necessarily all that trustworthy or clued up about things, but I definitely cannot be living alone as a hermit in my flat all day. It just makes one feel more depressed if you do meaningless things, like watch DVDs all day, or spew on forums about Resident Evil games to members that sometimes don't behave in a polite way. Like on dreamindemon.com, their posts on there are quite sarcastic. So I declared that 2023 is my last stop for that kind of side hobby.

I mean, rest in peace, mum. The NHS are idiotic. But I bet my sister won't be in any hurry to see justice through with mum, with how she wants to focus on this fruitless pursuit of trying to beat the system I know you cannot conjure, at least without having the adequate backing.

Believe me. I wanted to get back at people who wronged me, a long tine ago. Civil cases can actually be very costly, not to mention incredibly complicated. And you need proof. But to beat these people, that takes having tons of cash, and a person with legal skills. Otherwise, you just have to bite your tongue and proceed on in life. What else can you do besides chasing your tail? She hasn't the where with all to move on and accept what's done is done.

With the right kind of support, I can be offline more. Because in all honesty, you have too many radge pots who come online, like you know who. And in general, many message boards no longer boast of having regular activity, unlike in 2006 or whenever it was they were thriving.

I mean, talking to some of these folk on gaming forums is pointless, from my experience at least, because they can be provided with proof in a debate of sorts, and still refute it. They don't like receiving a rude awakening, but sometimes humouring them with kindness is not working out.

It's like they prefer doing these mental gymnastics to convince themselves that Capcom, Square Enix, Naughty Dog, or whatever, is all the rage.

Like, gee. Sorry for stepping on your toes. You know? They always like to argue the toss with people, even when they know they just got rumbled with real hard evidence.

 

It sounds like your sister has some mental health issues. Perhaps paranoia as well.

Even when proved wrong some people will still try to convince you that they’re right.

 

Yes. I think that's part of the illness...

That Australian guy is also pretty mental himself. He logs in on other forums where you cannot see a member's posts without signing in to look. I notice the nutball logging in practically everyday on thetechgame.com under the name of "SourEars" and other forums.

That's the definition of a sad, sad man. I reckon that I'll just have to ignore him, because the police in Perth don't care.

 

I hope she can receive help.

He’s certainly got problems & seems to thrive on flaming other users.

The Forum mods should ban him, although most likely they’d need to ban his IP address to prevent him joining under a new account.

 

Unfortunately, the admin pays for the hosting but does not log in at all, and hasn't done so in years by the look of things. In fact, you cannot even click on the list of moderators at the bottom of the main page. It just freezes. I also noticed that senior members can issue warnings, but this does nothing.

He will just use a free VPN to get around an IP ban, and so on.

I have no idea why that forum is still running. The owner's other sites just seem to be online to plug things. I honestly think a lot of people just keep their forums up because it reminds them of their heyday. But in 2023, so many forums are just like a ghost town. It would make more sense just to terminate the hosting since many of them are not maintained at all.

I did contact Cloudflare. I found the "easiest" way to contact them was through doing a DMCA violation report, or they just would never reply with the other methods I tried.

Instead of providing the genuine IP, I think they deliberately gave me false info. The host they provided didn't seem to know what was happening. So I just gave up.

He does this on a few other sites, but only because the mods don't do anything to intervene. Like on horror.com, a mod just replied saying something dumb instead of banning him. I understand people maybe don't like to get involved in this matter. But then they're kind of letting it happen on their forum.

My sister hasn't text me in days. I will probably have to go to the council tomorrow, as I cannot bid on properties. They were told to change my email address, which they did. However, the password recovery option doesn't seem to be working. No password links arrived in my inbox or spam folder. So I just think I should go there, as their phone number on Google doesn't seem operative.

After emailing them to explain this, they basically just keep sending me other recovery links. Having just explained that they aren't valid, I asked if they could assign a temporary one to allow me to sign in. But nope. They never responded.

 

I hope the sign in problem has been sorted by now.

Yep, several Facebook forums of which I’m a member have been allowing scam/spam posts & when reported nothing is done. Someone else mentioned that on other forums scams/spam is allowed as the admin needs to money. Perhaps this is the case with the groups you’re a member of - the abusive member is paying the admin/owner to freely post their abuse.

 

It hasn't yet.

Well, my sister took a 'daft turn' a week ago. Basically accused me of contacting a legal firm behind her back and then harped on about other things in a radge pot like manner, before cutting me off when I was awaiting a COL payment. I certainly never did what she accused me of. Having talked to the users on an autism site, they believe she has paranoia.

Luckily for me, I got my older sister's partner to help me sell more stuff in CeX, but it was a bit of a hassle.

Despite saying they accept a debit card as proof, they wanted to see a utility bill. Ended up having to go all the way to my sister's place for a physical print-out. Not my younger sister. My older one. This was after I walked from my flat to Rose Street.

Had to walk back into town. I hate using buses in busy traffic, and it's bad around that part of Edinburgh with the trams and so on. So while we got there eventually, it was a drag having to spring back and forth.

I seen a Samsung Galaxy S9 in a display case for £150, but there was too many folk in the line at the counter, and decided I could look on Amazon for something similar instead. Because I like how these newer ones do screen mirroring, or some have a desktop function like a PC.

In other news, Aussie James is still as odd as ever, being silly online. At least I think it's an Australian nutball.

 

That sounds correct, she may have paranoia.
I hope you got a decent price. I’ve bought several 4K films from Bury Cex to upgrade my Blu Rays. Do you have one of their key fobs? Supposedly it is easier to sell items if you do as your registered on their system.

I’m an Apple fan & see many iPhones & iPads in Cex but doubt I’d buy as I don’t know if they’re activation locked & when I enquired one time they stated they could remove this - I doubt it but if they can then it can be permanent & I believe it would lock again with the next iOS update.

He’ll never change.

 

He made a blog where he quotes things I say, and has kept submitting these alongside dumb looking potato pictures, as he keeps calling me a fat potato. I mean, really. Is this guy even in his 30s? Ha-ha.

Maybe my waistline isn't as slim as it should be, but I know cortisol (from stress) can cause visceral fat to develop. Either way, I seen what this guy looks like. I am actually otherwise very skinny. He's kind of bigger built, and way more fatter than I am. So I don't get that remark.

Once he feels sad I am not talking to him, he has to (variably) subscribe to me on YouTube, make accounts under my most commonly known username to reply to my posts, making everyone involved confused as to who we are, and then he just spams gibberish all across that Anxiety Forum, where he keeps saying he's not Australian.

He just cannot accept he was an idiot and posted identifiable leaks several years ago, so now he just denies it all and makes himself look like a fool. I honestly think he has a mental problem.

Anyway, he's not important. He only exists to be a moron, and is only known as the "guy who wastes his waking hours stalking a stranger he will never meet." That's it. The guy doesn't even have a website anymore. He writes for some other person's Aussie gaming site. Since it's made by bogans, it's essentially niche and hereby not covered worldwide anyway.

I don't talk to my sister anymore. My older sister said something to her on Facebook that landed me in it. She had a cheek saying that game she sold was hers. As I said, she detests horror related things, and I allowed the game's trade money to be giving to her as a favour. The game was stored in my mum's wardrobe upstairs, apparently. So it definitely wasn't her game. But I digress. She's not normal enough for my liking anymore.

I called social care direct a while back, but they just asked me what I need support for. I told them about my mum, and I also said I can just have male workers due to previous attachment concerns with women. My own wise choice. The person just said I can get shopping brought to my door with online services, which sure, I can. But it would still be nice to be able to head out to visit the stores in person with a helper.

To be honest, I have lost interest in a lot of things with my mum passing away and after years of being shunned both online and in the real world too.

I really don't like these ladies who advertise as dommes or escorts either. It's rare that you meet a nice one. They are always heavy handed and vastly unpleasant. But like everything really, if they look attractive, one has to kind of train their mind not to let that affect their choices in life. They really only want your cash, and I got vibes a lot of them too had some mental disorder impacting their lifestyle, as they just had this weird and snappy attitude. Like they were in love with their own ego or something.

The ones into this shoddy thing called findom are particularly awful. They scam guys on X or OnlyFans, then refer to them in a sexist, somewhat anti-masculine way, which is like a pot calling the kettle black. The cheek of the lot of them.

 

He sounds childish. I can imagine he’s much bigger, he’s probably been large since childhood.

Your life does change after a Parent’s death. You sort of question your choices in life & whether they were good for you or bad. Depression hits too & you’d don’t seem to enjoy the things you used to.

Mail order brides seem to be big business but there is the thought that they’re only after money or a nationalisation/green card/passport then they’re off.

 

Well, I was still considering legal action against James, but it's a lot of hassle because I'm in Scotland. Talking to Australians on a phone is hard as my accent is very heavy. The men all sound like Paul Hogan over there.

If I won my case, I'd probably get the money refunded, reimbursed, or whatever you call it. He's really just an idiot anyway. I knew from the minute he identified himself, he was one of those slobby shut-ins pretending to be superior, when he's only able to spam on some dead forums, or those where admins don't intervene. He's likely unpopular in real life anyway. He apparently went to a university in Perth to study health science in 2014. But now he just misbehaves on various forums where people don't bother to deal with his crap. Like on horror.com, the only active admin going by the name "Angra" doesn't care, because I sent him a PM and just wasted my time. That hardly makes him the big cheese, though. Lots of forums still have moderators who don't stand for any nonsense.

I've always treated women with dignity, but they always take liberties with my feelings, boundaries, etc. Like this one girl I met in 2005 while I was working in a charity shop. She lied about her pals being grounded. She lived in a bit of a rough area where kids play in the streets, and then I got back with her in 2012 after she had long relocated. And I was fixated on her at the time. But all she did was use me for my money. Pressured me to get her an iPod in Argos, made me fool like a moron, and all the rest of it. A part of me is still glad I found her after years of uncertainty, but of course, I was left feeling like a donkey over the whole situation in the long run.

My mum was never disappointed in me. She knew my comprehension wasn't too great, so people took advantage of my introvert lifestyle, and she even agreed that this Autism Initiatives company who supported me just suited themselves. My mother also knew that with the way society is today, it's easier for disabled people or those with a mental health condition not to feel integral to what others are doing, since people now are so fussy. I've been in situations where people just came across as snooty, which made my confidence sink even further.

I don't use dating websites, because I don't think there's many genuine members who sign up to use them. It's hard to know for sure, as the bad always outweighs the good. I don't even bother with Fetlife anymore. The minute you join, users that are probably bots send you follow requests, but they're actually supposedly situated in another region. Others say they'll only see couples or other women, because they're probably misandrists that don't like single guys to begin with. So uh, why bother? It's just another cesspool or minefield type environment where it's free, sure, but ultimately a lost cause. And even my friend doesn't think females today are up to much at all. And I half agree.

On X and OnlyFans, etc, they call men simps, and demand they give them all their money. So if they buy an expensive dinner for example, us guys (the so-called "cucks") have to refund them through their Wishtender. Like, really?

It's a bit of a problem with my Samsung phone. If I turn it off or the battery runs out, when it comes back on, it doesn't recognise the SIM. It's kind of fiddly. I also have to use a pin to get the drawer out. With other phones, it's usually a case of you removing the panel. I'm also using a demo of 'External Keyboard Helper' on my streaming box. This takes away the pop up keyboard, but because it's not the full version, it's putting DEMO VERSION in brackets. My goodness.

Ha-ha.

 

As much as I'd love to see mum get justice (as she would have did it for my family and I), my younger sister cut me off in October. She has the proof, and knows more about the situation than I do. Giving how they lived together, she knew what medication they provided. But since we aren't on speaking terms, there's nothing more I can do.

She has also sent nasty texts to my other sister, making out none of us contributed towards the funeral costs, and saying it's her fault one of my nephews is bullied at school. Our mum's death was unexpected. It's not like people can just conjure up expenses out of the blue when I myself only receive welfare.

I assume my sister got access to mum's savings for the burial to commence, or it would have resulted in a cremation. It was well over £2000, I think.

I cannot even get support from social care direct, because I told them already I had no support over the last several years besides my mum going shopping with me, and I even said I would only have men because of fabricated allegations from a previous key worker I had in 2013.

I've already contacted law firms in the past in regards to old issues, attempted to get back up from advocacy agencies and other people numerous times, but I found I have been getting nowhere. They just made excuses, or told me to try the alternatives, like going to an advice shop to get legal advice. Which of course is like hitting your head off a brick wall, because you can find the recommended lawyers on Google. They're the same ones they'll simply advise you to get in touch with. Thus, it's pointless.

 

I'm behind again with the news as I've been away from MG for some time. So sorry to read what you've been going through following the loss of your mum. I hope you are finding the legal solutions and things are getting sorted to your benefit.

 

For me Christmas is a bad time as I remember celebrating with mum & dad & now I’m missing those times.

 

It is just another day to us.