Nine Words Women Use

May lead to "Meaningful Dialogue"


Fine
-This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
-If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
-This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you
should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in
"fine".

Go Ahead
-This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
-Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood
by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay
-This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a
man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
-This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary If a
woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back
out of the room slowly. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. That will bring on a 'whatever').

Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying YOU ARE PUSHING IT BUDDY!

Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.


For the woman's response refer to #3.

 

HEY! I resemble those remarks.:-D

 

Right down to the T, BOOMM.
First I've EVER heard a woman admit to something like that. Thank you 'trucks.

 

Nice to see it is finally in print for a change, now you guys (hrlow2 LOL) can take notes and lessons! roflmao

Now, hrlow2, all ya had to do, was ask:-D We being of the F. section, would have been glad to explain it too ya roflmao roflmao

 

No explanation needed.
Learned that lesson the hard way many years ago.
(Reason I'm single and loving it now.)

 

I heard all of those at least 20 times while having a discussion with tiffany

 

Some peoplerolleyes are just slow learners.:-D

 

i actually agree :eek which is probably why most of my friends have always been guys (BFF in high school was a guy). some, not all, women even use that stuff with their galfriends.

no way to prove it to you but i've actually only used some of those in exactly the way they were originally intended; NOT as passive/aggressive weapons. the rest have never actually applied to me.

that list is sort of the reverse of:
(this is just a skosh less verbose)
Q. why did the man cross the road?
A. why do men do ANYTHING.LOL

 

roflmaoroflmaoroflmao No more said.

 

The only two I use on a regular basis. I got them both from my paternal grandfather, though. LOL When I find myself in a pointless argument when I know I'm right but the other person is too stupid or bullheaded to shut up, in my head I hear him say "OK, Della"...I think that's how he stayed married to my grandmother so long! :-D

The second one I use at work constantly, equally between men and women.

 

I recognize and sympathize. I have particular experience of number three, it's one of the old bat's favourites. The sigh (which is audible from the next street) is also a common weapon in the wife's armoury.
Also, why is it, when women are proved wrong, trying to drag an apology out of them is like trying to get blood from a stone, yet if I'm wrong, I gotta move heaven and earth to be seen to be sorry? My wife is very, very good at not apologising. It's one of her strengths. And I'm a dweeb. I crawl over broken glass to apologize, but it's normally used as a launch pad to extend the argument. Women.....Pah!!

 

Don't worry jots you are not alone there, if i prove my wife was wrong about ANYTHING she has a knack of turning it around and saying it is my fault she was wrong.

 

Learned long ago to never argue with a woman.
Even when you're right, you're wrong.
(Best way to co-exist.)

 

There’s only two words to use when dealing with women “YES DEAR”

I know I’ve said this before but here goes

What have you got when you’ve got ten women up to their necks in sand?

NOT ENOUGH BLOODY SAND

 

LOL! You guys should all know by now, you will never win with us I would like to know, just how long yous have been married. I think tony has it right:
“YES DEAR”
!!! roflmao I may not always be right, but I am NEVER wrong LOL

PS: Also: what's mine is mine, and what's his is mine

 

Man, that's cool. You could write a pamphlet on the things that come out of my mouth, especially in an argument (which is a rare occurrence as of late.) My new favorite thing to tell someone is "I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong." LOL

I like going to stores and catching people off guard too. Like when I was at Lowe's looking for a stronger fan for the bathroom, one that might help keep the mirror from fogging & the cloud cover closer to the ceiling.

Anyhow I told the girl I wanted a stronger one, but wasn't sure what I had. She asked how strong I was thinking & I said, I'd like to have it able to suck the water out of the toilet if I don't keep the lid down. LOL I'm still looking.

 

Ah HA! That is a single guy! Cute Pax! roflmao roflmao Still looking..

Once I had an ant problem, and the little buggers were all over the yard, and I didn't like them. I went to the local feed mill, that sold farm supplies, and these guys all know my hubby.. Well, I walked in, and asked "what do you have for ants?" And got a "Uncles!" reply... I was not a happy camper with that! I still think of that when I see an ant to this day LOL

 

actually, i beg to differ. personally, the only 2 words that i insist on are: "THE TRUTH"

i actually WANT to know if i'm wrong so i don't look like a fool. opinion is an entirely different matter; no one is wrong...well, unless you think Hitler was just a misunderstood man who's mother didn't love him enough. if you believe that, then you're not only wrong, you're a COMPLETE IDIOT! LOL

i actually hadn't heard this one. i like it...actually sounds like a lawyer (barrister) joke and would probably work equally well with any number of individuals inserted (men, women, politicians, etc.). thanks for the laugh, tony!

here's another:
Q. what do you have when you have 10 lawyers, in a bus, at the bottom of the ocean?
A. not enough lawyers.

 

Hey BOOMM there's one you missed off the list, and by the way no smirky remarks before you start !

Thats 9 inches !

This is when a woman gets measurements wrong and then she does this ! --> roflmaoroflmaoroflmao
Thats the time for you to try and convince her thats she definitely wrong ! :-o

 

and that's where i would say: "it's not quantity, it's quality."LOL

 

An ex-boyfriend of mine once asked me for a six-inch piece of tape. After we broke up. In front of other people. LOL roflmao roflmao

I handed him a piece that might have measured two inches. :-D

And "yes, dear" is something I used to say to my ex-fiance all the time, which I've now started saying again since we're back together. Maybe I'm not really a girl... :confused

 

What about the 9 words men use?

1. Fine: Depends heavily on the context. A 'fine' after asking, say, "How was work?", means "It was f***ed, I'm not interested in talking about it". Fine at the end of an argument, however, has the same connotations as when a woman would use it, but it is USUALLY SHOUTED LIKE THIS because us men have trouble using an inside voice when we're angry.

2. Five minutes: What is he doing? Videogames? Five minutes is about half an hour then, or until he finds the ever elusive 'next save point'. Getting ready for sex? Five minutes is two minutes. Preparing to leave? Five minutes means five minutes, and if you're not in the car in exactly five minutes you will find yourself under a veritable barrage of honking until you rectify the fact.

3. Nothing: Is largely a synonym for 'fine', though more resolute. A 'fine' can be challenged, a 'nothing' is completely off limits, and rather than signaling that an argument is forth coming, it should tell any man-savvy woman that whatever is wrong is not up for discussion with her, her mother, or anyone she is related to. Full stop. Period.

4.Go ahead: "I'm not interested in arguing with you anymore, do whatever the hell you want. See if I care!" Often accompanied by a #1.

5.Loud sigh: Sometimes with a curse, like 'J***s Ch***t' or 'F**king hell', this is a sign of frustration, and means, basically, "I so don't understand the issue here, what is she still pissed about? My conclusive rebuttals weren't enough for her?"

6.That's okay: This is a sign of disappointment. If a dude tells you 'that's okay' after you've just admitted something, it means his respect for you has taken a free fall and he's not sure what to say that won't insult you, despite his current feelings. If a guy is saying 'that's okay' a lot, you should examine your patterns and find out why.

7.Thanks: This depends largely on the context and intonation. Like eels and shotguns, 'thanks' is a slippery beast and by no means can be explained in one dot point. So I won't.

8. Whatever: "I'm over it. I'm not interested in arguing. I still think I'm right, but you know what? You don't, and I'm beyond caring. F**k you." That's what 'whatever' means.

9.Don't worry about it, I got it: This isn't often used by men, but when uttered it holds the same connotations as "Stop asking if I need help, I am a MAN, I am more than capable of handling this shit myself". Women often challenge this, which can result in a #4 #5 combo, or, worse, a #1 followed up by an #8.

The second pair of 9 words men use. But really means.

10) "Sure. I'll throw the trash out right now." - translates to - "If I remember to throw out the trash during the commercial break, I will do so. If I forget, then you'll have to remind me again. Shhh, runners on first and third, no outs." (Go Yankees)

11) "Is something wrong?" - translates to - "What did i do wrong now? And how long is it going to take for you to figure out how to blame me for whatever it is you're upset about? I don't have all night."

12) "Sure, what do you want to talk about?" - translates to - "I will sit and listen, but I can't promise you that I'll pay attention. You have 3 minutes before the game comes back from commercial break.... annndddddd GO."

13) "No, that doesn't make your butt look big" - translates to - "When you know 'no' is the only answer, why do you ask?"

14) "No, she's not prettier than you" - translates to - "Same as #4. How stupid do you think i am? It's a rhetorical question, you don't have to answer it. Although, I have a feeling you'll let me know anyway."

15) "I'm sorry." - translates to - "I don't know what I'm apologizing for, but it seems to be the only thing that'll let me watch the rest of this darn game."

16) "You're right, I'm wrong." - translates to - "You are angry. I am hungry. You don't cook when you're angry. Soooo..."

17) "Thank you" - translates to - "While you're up cooking, can you make that pie I really like?".

18) "You are beautiful" - translates to - "Now that the game is over, and we're done eating... how about we... you know... (wink wink)."

 

Very true on the man side is more better then the woman side!

 

Who honks? I just pull out of the driveway.

 

Whatever. We win hands down at everything. We just like to give you all a false sense of victory. When we men capitulate, we are just letting you lot think you've got the upper hand. Oh, the taste of long drawn out silences and the sweet delights of wallowing in the subterfuge and deceit that accompanys the knowledge that we were right all along and you women have taken the bait hook, line and sinker. How gullible. We only come across as idiots because that's what we want you to believe. Don't you see? It's a massive conspiracy. All men are born with this instinct and we have been keeping this knowledge from you women since the dawn of time through the subtle skills of intelligent reasoning and intellectual wit. Probably.

Me been wed for eight years. Never once have I had an argument with the wife that I've not been able to turn to my advantage and play her like a Stradivarius.
I wish.

My grandad always used to say to my grandma, "It's not often you're right, but you're wrong again." This was used often as he (obviously) was a fella and my grandma wasn't.

Again, that's what we want you to believe. Women, get over yourselves. Go and make our tea and wash our clothes. You gullible wenches.
Have a nice day.

 

Hey JOTS! :-D Who has who? roflmao roflmao We wimmins just let you THINK that! roflmao roflmao Yup, it works like a charm! Hey, got you believeing it! roflmao

Ok, the 8 years is good, but you are still learning, :duck and I got a few more on ya 33+ for me, yeah, to the same person! So, I do have a little education. :-D :celebrate

 

Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis? You got no idea how we have pulled the wool over your eyes. Poor, misguided fools. Get back to reality. Now, where's me tea?

 

Oooooooo ! JOTS you chauvanist you :-D but i think you may just have it right there !
Sorry Teecee ! Us guys are so :cool !

 

Have to play by their rules sometimes if you ever want any piece:-o(oops), peace in life, guys.:-D