Rotten Child, Free to good home

You ever love your kids with all your heart and simultaneously plan to sell them on a foreign market and ask "what kids?" whenever anybody asks where they've gotten to?

There are no words to describe, just gritten teeth and pulverizing gestures with the hands. GRRRRRRRRRR...

Yesterday? First thing in the morning, she got into my makeup and looks like a clockwork orange. She messed with my computer, ran 6 programs, reset my personal settings and logged it off by accident - thankfully, because then she couldn't do anything else to it - and all because she got up before I did. Instant death.

Then My friend came over, and She was a bloody f-ing terror. We went to walmart to bum around, and she SCREAMED the whole way through the f-ing store. Because i told her that in order to get McDonalds she had to be GOOD. So she bellowed, wailed, screamed her mommy was hurting her, klicked the cart because i had her in it - she's 5 and she can't HANDLE walking next to the cart - knocked down anything she could reach, and then STILL screamed for mcdonalds. So I mostly ignored her, left, and she got nothing at all - which made her continue to do it through every other place we went. SO we got home, straight to bed. Screamed for an HOUR and demolished her room. Theres nothing IN it and she still demolished it.

I came down to check my mail one last time and she painted my f-ing monitor with Purple Nail Polish!!! i was only in the shower for maybe 10 f-ing minutes!!!!!!!!

SO this morning, I had to sit there while she sorted out the huge laundry explosion in her room - meaning she took out every piece of clothing she owned, dirty or clean, and threw it on the floor for no good freaking reason- piece by piece, between dirty and clean, pick all the shoes and junk off her floor and now im making her FOLD all the clean clothes she threw on the floor and put them away and she can't come out until she does it. And it's not even 10am.

I swear, one headache after a fricken nother. Punish her, she destroys a room. Smack her, she cries until she sees something shiny because it doesnt actually freaking phase her - there is no freaking getting through to this kid. She can stand in a corner all ****ing day and then go right back to whatever she was doing in order to be put inthe corner the moment she gets out.

Seriously? School cannot come fast enough. I like.. need that nanny 911 thing because it's not about my willingness to discipline my bad child, it's about the child not caring less if i do. Just freaking GRRRRRR

and she clicked my left button right off my damned mouse! my annoyance factor is maxed for now and i need to spend some quality all alone or ill bite your head off time

 

Holy cow.. she needs to see a priest so she can be exorcised.

 

Be glad you're not outnumbered 4 to 1. I'm still dealing with a 'science experiment' in the bathroom.

 

Can I eat her??

 

I would like to tell you that she will grow out of it; but if she displays this kind of behavior often, you may have bigger issues. Don't give in, enforce the rules, smother her with love, and above all else don't lose your temper with her. I know it is really frustrating when your child deliberately tries to embrass you in public. I went through this with my son. He would through extremely bad temper tantrums when he was little, went out of his way to not follow the rules. Got so bad that at 14 I had to call the cops on him, he attacked his mother. We finally got professional help, turns out he has Oppositional Defiant Disorder as well as ADHD. Since he got help and is on medication to control his ADHD the last 4 years have been a lot better; still can't get him to clean his room .

Patience, love, and enforce the rules, Wenchie. You'll get through this and may the force be with you.

 

I hate to tell you but she's already been diagnosed as BOTH and this is a MILD day for me...

It's so bad It's been clinically recommended that i not have other children, as it may pose a danger to them or the household...

They want to drug her down, but i want to wait... just in case.

 

It's good that you found out early. The 'Professional's' always seem to want to throw drugs at behavioral problems; I'm not convinced that medicating solves anything at all, IMO it just masks the problem.

I feel for you, know what your going through. Don't close off the medication option, when she is older that may be a viable option and help her and you immensely.

Stay cool, stay in control. Best wishes to you and your daughter.

 

You need The Nanny.

Steve

 

Make her watch some Barney or Sesame Street. LOL

 

Sounds like you need The Club Wenchie. No, not that one, the one used to lock up cars. Well, maybe the other one too.

 

My friend lilly suggested constructing a hannibal lecter cart and investing in a straight jacket.... the option is becoming more and more appealing...

 

What happened to the "sell them on a foreign market" plan?

Steve

 

It's easy to see the funny side when you write a very descriptive and entertaining account to us about how your daughter is, but let's not forget the fact that those of us who are parents know how very draining just one temper tantrum can be when they are small 2 year olds, let alone still facing them when they are much larger, more defiant and several years later.

Wenchie...I don't know what your personal situation is with regard to support, both medical and personal, but I do know that you need both, not just for your daughter's welfare, but for yours too. I seem to recall you live out in the boonies miles from anything, but I would like to encourage you to try to seek some sort of respite so that you can have some well earned R&R on a regular basis. I know that you do apply discipline, but you also only have so much energy to deal with the complex needs your daughter has. Don't leave it until you burn out.....please......ask your doctor where and how you can get the support you, as a parent, are entitled too

Thinking of you *Hugs*

 

sorry to hear about the situation Wenchie... hope things work out for you and your daughter...

 

If i give my cat coffee, and dress her in pink... it's possible noone would notice she's missing.... for a bit.

Thanks Lev. I never made it to the boonies. I wish i had, letting her run free in the woods might have made my life liveable, and I sadly pretty much only have you guys for support. I mean, you guys rot, but very few of you are near enough/have enough time to actually come over and say hi. I don't have alot of friends because most of the people I meet can't handle Kay...

But school will start soon, and hopefully i'll start working when it does, so I'll have other things to occupy my mind, and maybe the few hours we'll have together, instead of all day every day, she'll be tired enough to be a little calmer...

at least i hope so... only 8 more weeks...

Her birthday is the 14th and i actually had to threaten to cancel it today... uhg.

 

you see... she's so out there becasue she also suffers from moderate to severe auditory processing dysfuction.. so not "getting" things, so she either freaks out or lashes out because she doesnt understand and is frustrated. That's why she can get spanked, put in corners, duct taped to chairs - no wait, that's just me wishing that were legal, and it she will almost always get out of punishment and go right back to doing it.

She may be home for life... danger to herself and others... but I hope not.

We actually have already tried medication. She was put on adderol, and the results were both heartbreaking and disasterous - she neither ate nor slept and could barely function - so i called her doctor and ammased obscenities...

Maybe when she's older i'll try again... for now, grit teeth and bare it.

 

The thing with these 'drugs' are that you may have to try several different meds before you find one that works for you daughter. Some can make her more violent, others could turn her into a zombie. My son takes Concerta; which, works very well for him. He was sarted on adderol at first; and that only seemed to make him worse.

School will start soon and provide you with much needed relief and rest. Hang in there Wenchie, things will get better. What doesn't break you, makes you stronger.

 

yeah but she was like... 2 or 3. Why the hell do you medicate a BABY? Im waiting for at least 7ish... thats old enough to need it and be able to take it in my mind.

 

What doctor in their right mind would give narcotics to a 3-year old. They have no business practicing medicine. A 7-year old would probably handle the drungs better; but that is debated heavily also. Most of these meds were developed for adults, not children.

 

sounds like my girlfriend... only she's 15 years older but still stuck at that hyper-active age, every thing i get my hands on is in hers the second she sees it... except for the remote

 

I'm just very glad I'm old and have already traversed the perils and pitfalls inherent in the creation (I liked THAT part best ) and training of other human beings . . . you can only do your best. If in turn THEY reproduce you can take comfort in revenge by spoiling the grandkids.

Seriously though, good luck with your situation. I don't have any advice for you . . . I was winging it as a parent and will no doubt wing it as a grandfather . . .

 

Adderall is an amphetamine, not a narcotic. But I do think 2-3 is pretty young to begin prescribing it. If fact, I don't even think it is indicated for children that young -- children 6-12 and adults, I believe.

That being said, don't turn your back on medication completely. If you have a doctor that is willing to work closely with you and your daughter to find the right prescription or combination of prescriptions to help her, it would be worth it.

Good luck.

 

Your right, narcotic was the first word that came to mind, and stuck with me. Stimulate is the appropriate word.

 

PM me where you are...I have no idea if I'm near

 

I've been trying to decide how best to address this thread. Wenchie, I'm not sure which country you live in, so you'll have to understand that I'm writing from Pennsylvania, USA. I'm an elementary school teacher whose been teaching 5th grade for 7 years. 2 years ago I taught 3 students who were diagnosed ODD and ADHD, last year I taught 2. I dealt with these students, in classes with about 20 students total, all day, every day. My principal sent me for training to learn how to deal with these students in a regular classroom. I'm only saying this so you'll know that I'm not speaking out of my, well you know.

You've said that you can't wait for school to start, so I have two questions for you.
1. Have you met with her principal and teacher yet?
2. Have you checked to see if there are any services which she can receive because of her diagnoses?

I don't want to assume that you haven't done these things, and hope that you have. If not, however, I would encourage you do to both as soon as possible. The more a school knows about your daughter, the better able they will be to meet her needs. Also, a good working relationship between yourself and her school will help, especially as she gets older and starts really manipulating both. If you stay on the same page, there will be fewer opportunities for her to "get away" with things.
As far as services go, here in PA we have Intermediate Units, basically state-run organizations that provide services to school districts in their areas, that can help families coordinate counseling, rehabilitation, and such. I've found that families that take advantage of extra services have a much more stable existance than those that don't.
I also want to echo Lev's thoughts about getting support for yourself. Parents of ADHD and ODD students live very exhausting lives. If you don't want to see someone professionally, please set aside specific scheduled time to be away from your daughter. You've said you're hoping to get a job when she starts school. Be careful which job you get. If you end up stressed at work, and then try to go home and deal with your daughter, you'll burn out even more quickly.
I hope I haven't come across as condescending in any way (my husband hates when I treat him like a fifth grader). My heart goes out to you! I can relate to the issues you're dealing with, believe me. If there is anything I can do to help/support you, please let me know!

 

I know this feeling, I have three little girls...Chicks are evil...even the small ones.I know this for a fact because I am one.
but mine make me look sweet by comparison.lol

 

that's great advice Sweet Sarnia!

 

Thank you, Anhedonic!