The Ten Net Commandments

Thought this was pretty cool

1.) Thou shalt not buy merchandise found in pop up ads or spam.

2.) Thou shalt not post thy e-mail address, phone number, address or social security number on the Internet, nor shalt thou post anyone else's.

3.) Thou shalt not forget to update thy Windows every second Tuesday.

4.) Thou shalt not connect to the Internet without installing an antivirus, nor shalt thou begin a scan without checking for updates.

5.) Thou shalt not connect to the Internet without installing a firewall.

6.) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's credit card number, nor his bank routing number, nor his social security number.

7.) Thou shalt not enter thy credit card number without seeing the tiny padlock icon on thy status bar.

8.) Thou shalt not reply to the e-mail from the Nigerian banker.

9.) Thou shalt not forward chain letters to thy friends and family.

10.) Thou shalt not use "password" as thy password, nor thy birthday, nor thy childrens' names.

 

11) Though shalt not get caught.

 

12) Thou shalt not browse myspace and facebook at work, then say "I don't know what happened!" when your PC/Notebook gets Malware.

13) A man shall not lie down with Limewire; It is an abomination.

 

good one. My users used to have download and install privileges until i found limewire and every toolbar under the sun installed on their work computers. needless to say, they dont have install privileges anymore.

 

In my organization, if you get caught with Limewire, the IT department gets to fire you.

 

LOL i used to it:cry:cry

 

14) 6 days you shall work, being on call 24 hours for those 6 days. On the sabbath, ye shall do no work of any kind. Ye shall turn off thy mobile phone and abstain from thy internet, because God knows you deal with retard users all week long and need thy rest.

 

roflmao

 

On a slightly different note:

The Bible according to IT, Chapter 28, verse 2000:

And the lord said "Let there be light", but he had a defective microphone, and Lo, he did contact Technical Support, and they did charge him $50/hr and he was wrath. He cursed all technical support agencies, saying "Let you be bound forever to work 50 hour weeks for $20/day" and there was much wailing an gnashing of teeth. And Lo, the Lord did use the mouse to provide light. But the Light was smitten, and the Lord got a BSOD and cursed Microsoft, saying: "Curse you Microsoft!". And Microsoft was cursed to release one good OS followed by one bad OS for ever. And so the cycle has continued.

Here endeth the lesson.

 

And the Lord said unto Moses come forth.
Moses came fifth and was sacked

 

Any job openings?

 

15) Thou shalt not try to find real porn on youtube.
16) Thou shalt not cite Wikipedia for answers on an essay.

 

17) Thou shalt not use l33t speak, for I am a God of intelligence, visiting the iniquities and retardation upon the third and fourth generations who use that forbidden speech.

18) Ye shall not covet thy neighbor's rig.

19) Thou shall not get caught with shemale porn on thy PC.

20) Apple is still forbidden fruit. For in the day thou toucheth it, ye shall grow a goatee and wear Birkenstocks.

 

21) Thou shalt not be online while having a lot of school work to do.


Crap, looks like I just broke one.


22) Thou shalt not eat over thy keyboard.

23) Thou shalt thank me for this post!

 

25. Thou shalt explain a process to a user in the simplest way possible.
26. Thou shalt expect to explain the same process to the same user indefinitely, because thy users do not pay attention to instruction.

 

27. Thou shalt not annoy tech support people, lest they escalate the call to their manager, leading to much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Can you tell I like the "wailing and gnashing of teeth" thing?

 

roflmao

 

28) Thou shalt not make unto the Tech God, any graven image. (Macintosh)

 

29. Thou Shalt Not call upon the Great And Almighty MA for something stupid thou hath done and then denith that which thou hath done wrongly. (OH Boy will you get an ear full LOL)

 

LMBO roflmao


:innocent


30) Tho shall not piss off the IT Dept (they know everything you do on your PC and will get even! (I know better)

 

31) thou shalt not edit your logs so that the helpers do not know you've been watching porn

 

roflmao


33) Thou shalt not copy the code in two seperate DLLs and combine them all together to make a super DLL.

 

34) Tho shall not omit info from the Malware Forum, just wastes time

 

35) Thou shalt RTFM before asking questions, or thou shall be cursed from MG

 

*grins* after you have 1000 posts Chas will chew your *** out for not RTFM, been there and done that *smiles* Love ya Chas and you keep me on my toes.