40yr old man about to cry.

Hello,

I hate being a computer retard. Because of this I have some serious problems with my system. I just got my new computer Saturday and already have trojans and other stuff that has been just stealing my joy. My modem speed is a whoppin 26400kbps with a transfer rate of 1.1kb a sec(or less)....so it took me 9hrs to download 8.1mb file.......because of my trojans I guess.

I thought after following a very long process I had gotten rid of a virus fraud that was some axe thing .........now in its place I have :

Downloader.Agent.Alr
Trojan.Dialer.pz
Trojan.Pakes

I have run my systems one care..........nothing
panda.....nothing
ewido........finds it then lies and says it took care of it
spybot seek and destroy.....nothing
adware......nothing

and a few other free scans...........nothing works and the download time to even get a half meg download would make most people shoot themselves in the head.

I don't know what to do.........please someone that is patient with a computer retard please help..........I do know how to navigate pretty well through the system and I can follow instructions note for note.........Please help.

I'd love to return to my 2.3kb a sec transfer rate........lol

IF I get one more fricken win???.tmp.exe thing in my screen or in my temp file............yesterday I had 9,236 of these files in there

This machine is the mac daddy and I screwed it all up trying to be mister "i'll find myself a crack to a program that I already had so I didn't have to put my cd in everytime to play the game............stupid matuka.......now I"m paying the price...........HELP