a little ha ha. . .

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond on Boston Common when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dog’s neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. “Young Bruins Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal,” he starts writing in his notebook.
“But I’m not a Bruins fan,” the little hero replied.
“Sorry, since we are in Boston, I just assumed you were,” said the reporter and starts again. “Red Sox Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific Attack” he continued writing in his notebook. “I’m not a Red Sox fan either,” the boy said. “I assumed everyone in Boston was either for the Bruins or Red Sox. What team do you root for?” the reporter asked.
“I’m a Yankees fan,” the child said.
The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, “Little Bastard from New York Kills Beloved Family Pet.”

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Redneck Birth Control: A man and a woman from Mississippi don't want any more children because they already have 11. So the husband goes to a doctor in Ohio. The doctor asks what state he is from and the man says that he is from Ole Miss. The doctor tells him to go home, put a lit cherry bomb in an empty soda can, hold it in his hand, and count to 10. The husband isn't so sure of this, so he goes to another doctor, this time in California. When that doctor finds out that the husband is from Mississippi he tells him the exact same thing that the doctor in Ohio told him the husband figures that the doctors must be right. So he goes home, puts a lit cherry bomb in a soda can, and starts to count. "1...2...3...4...5..." The husband takes the soda can and puts it between his legs to continue counting on his fingers on his right hand. "6...7...8...9..."

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A drunk in a bar barfs all over his own shirt.
“Darn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.”
“Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.”
So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks.
The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”

 

hahahahaha, oh man, those are great.

eric

 

Living in Mississippi, I can categorically deny the truth in that story.

























The cherry bomb would have gone off LONG before he reached "five".

 

HEY I'm a New Yorker LMAO.....


Little Bastard from New York Kills Beloved Family Pet.”