Any attorneys in the house?

These are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ


ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you **** me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

 

How much did your attorney charge you for this information / advice?

 

My attorney actually told me to pled guilty in something back in the day due to the fact they said they just re arrest me for new charge aftewards. And listening to judge say" now has anyone your attorney or the court force you to this answer"? Me: No ... True story.

 

Hey Ive seen some pretty stuff I knew of people in highschool. I even remember this one time I was smoking a cig on the corner across from the HS. A kid I knew in school and atleast talked with in school.. was near me talking.. He was smoking a bowl. Anyways cops cruise around the HS daily cause so many people doing drugs, fighting, and many cig fines for under agers.. Anyways kid smoking a bowl in plane site... not un normal. Cop comes around corner in a car. Cop gets out sees he smoking something and jumps out and grabs him and puts him up against the car. Kid got bowl in right hand..cop feelin kids pants and shirt and nuts.. and anyways cop cant find what kid had. Cops now mad and cant find what he had. So few minutes later kid throws bowl underneath cop car while getting seating in the back of the car. While cop comes to me about cig smoking.. Kid goes down to jail but later return because they couldnt find the weed/bowl.

 

That is a good one, silas:-D roflmao roflmao did the kid get a new weed/bowl? :-D

 

Yes the kid continue to smoke weed during school. :-D And add a few arrest to it for pot again and underage drinking for him.

 

Ahh that uderage drinking will get you everytime

 

I under age drank atleast freshmen year in HS. Most weekends on up. Only got busted twice tho with cops actually questing me. One time was they were watching the house anyways. And we just partied still. Well anyways we had fenced you couldnt see over. And anyways like 50 kids in back yard lol in town 2 blocks from fire station. And I went to go pee outside the fence buzzed. And I seen like 10 cop cars just chillin on the street. I go tell people to go inside the house. SO people start going in. And cops start surrounding the block. Kids were panicking and tried to run and jump the fence and they landed in the arms of officers lol.. And they said the cops said"well hello how are you" lol.. anyways we all packed inside.. Cops came to door. We turned off lights and chilled. (because cops cant come inside without reason) anyways they sat out there waiting for us to open the door and come outside the door (where we can then be arrested). SO we stayed in for 45 minutes. Eventually I went out with a buddy and we talked to them. They said they just wanted to talk. Anyways we got few more people coming out drinking beers still. Anyways everyone was busted but no tickets. Few arrested for warrents. And anyways they said well you all got to leave. Well we go inside.. I said"well thats to nice for our town cops" so watched the cops go around the corner of the blocks, where they parked in the dark lol where we couldn't see them they thought. Anyways I said they probably going to wait till you drive off to give you a DUI. So later on a 21 year old that was there.. that wasnt drunk drove.. and he got pulled over...but not arrested.. anyways we just all stayed there.. Cops chilled there for 2 hours then they came back. Said we told you all to leave! I said we dumped the beers noone is drinking.. we are allowed to stay in a house.. its not against the law to stay at a house.. they finally left pissed.

Another story was we use to just drive out in middle no where and drink. We found cornfield miles outside town. We eventually drank. Bunch of dummys threw tires and etc.. on fire.. we made.. ended up getting firetrucks called out to the scene and busted us. Cause they thought it was a house fire.