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Chivalry is not dead!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by legalsuit, Oct 22, 2007.

  1. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Unable to find a tradesperson to renovate my fireplace surround, I decided to tackle it myself by "cheating", doing it in another method. Measured it up (twice), then off to local hardware store for a fire rated board.

    First problem encountered…they would only deliver the 4 metres uncut. So I try “pretty please with sugar on it…” the supervisor agrees to cut the board to fit the three sides of the fireplace.

    With a gasp of relief, I reply, “Well, that deserves a lottery ticket, which I’m off to buy you.”

    Next problem: Will the pieces fit it into my car? Supervisor measures my interior and with a grin says, “No problem”.

    Third problem: Later, when trying to load the pieces into my car, we find they are too big and they won’t deliver cut pieces!:cry Then this “knight in shining white armour” asks where I live…"OK, that's not far, I’ll deliver it after work”. Which he does, and I presented him with a gift card to a liquor store. He was delighted with his two gifts, and with a wink says, "You know I don't normally do this type of thing for customers."

    Curious to test the cut pieces, he snugly fits them in and they fit perfectly to our delight as a fireplace surround. Now I just need to get some proper cement to secure the pieces and mouldings to finish and dress it up nicely...so one part of my front lounge project is in order and hundreds of dollars saved thanks to this kind gentleman!

    Yes, chivalry is not dead.:celebrate
  2. Grumbles

    Grumbles Bamboozled Geek

    Glad that you got there in the end Legal :) Sometimes its how you ask people to help out and by being courteous to them does often reap rewards:)

    Like the old saying: What you give out - You get back Tenfold :)

    Last edited: Oct 22, 2007
  3. darlene1029

    darlene1029 A Grand Lady- R.I.P. 06/06/2012

    chivalry LOL you flirt ;)
  4. padams

    padams First Sergeant

    Maybe he just thought you were smokin' hot and wanted to take you out for a nice steak dinner!

    You are a really nice person for giving him gifts. I worked at a furniture store in the warehouse when I was 16 and this family came in and bought a huge couch. Then they couldn't get it home and asked me, since I had a truck, would I deliver it for them. I said sure as any good person would do. Then I drove like 50 miles out of town into deliverance territory that wasn't even on the map to get to these people's house, unload it by myself and move it into their house for them and all I get was a "We really appreciate it."
  5. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Aww...No flirting was involved...honest! I was dressed in my gym gear at the time and definitely not looking my best.

    The guy really was extending a courtesy which impressed me enough to show my gratitude...namely because he spent his lunch hour cutting up my pieces, then took time out before picking up his kids to drop them off.

    (Might try the flirting bit next time 'round:p)
  6. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Generally true with some people/instances Grumbles, though there have been times I've had to play "hard ball" to get what I wanted.

    This guy happened to be a true gentleman and showed me a real courtesy which I duly appreciated. Rare to see such chivalry nowadays.
  7. dyamond

    dyamond Imelda Marcos of Majorgeeks

    That was nice of him, indeed. Just the other day, leaving a local wawa, I was approaching the first door to exit (there are two) and a man was approaching the first door to enter, as he saw me he rushed over to the door I was about to exit and opened it for me. I thanked him gratefully and it really made my night!:) You dont see much of that these days!
  8. ItsWendy

    ItsWendy MajorGeek

    Not looking your best. :D

    Guys have an eye for what you're best would look like.

    But then, there are good people everywhere, as well as bad. Always important to remember, given your profession. I suspect you see a lot of not so nice folks in your job.

    Given the chance, I always open the door for ladies, from 3 years old up. I was raised that way, as I suspect most southern gentlemen were. The extra effort from your guy now, that's special.
  9. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    roflmao "smoking hot" in my gym gear after gym...um...nope!:D

    As for your story about your chivalrous act...and it isn't the type of thing any person would do, particularly given the distance and work involved. Unbelievable how ignorant and thankless some people can be...bet they didn't even offer you a refreshing drink after your efforts...such people annoy the heck out of me.
  10. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Now that's a gentleman. It is nice when people obviously go that little bit further to show a courtesy, whether male or female.
  11. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    True, in my profession, your gender isn't always given consideration... whether client or colleague. With colleagues, that's when there's a heavy reliance upon our code of ethics and discipline (which sadly not everyone follows).

    Think it's wonderful that your parents taught you from young...I am always delighted when kids ("little people") show me courtesy and always show my appreciation...they really fluff up with pride while blushing, but I also know my encouragement means they will continue such a practice of chivalry.

    As for that supervisor, he really extended an unexpected courtesy, so my little gifts were recognition for his efforts. He even stated that he was going to share his "liquor gift" with his workmates (not his winnings if he won the Lottery though:D). Now how nice a guy is that...especially given that his workmates didn't do or help out at all!
  12. Grumbles

    Grumbles Bamboozled Geek

    I give up my seat on the bus for the elderly or parents with babies, open doors for people, and generally try to have good manners where ever I go. It is something my parents taught me from an early age :)
  13. dyamond

    dyamond Imelda Marcos of Majorgeeks

    You and Bill seem to be of a rare breed for noone does that here. If I notice some on coming in or going out behind me I always hold open the door. Im lucky if I get a smile let alone a thank yourolleyes

    The other day I was following a guy out the door of a store (a little behind) and he waited and held it open for me, when I said thank you, he said said rather surprised "uh, sure". I guess he wasnt used to being acknowledged for doing something nice.
  14. Grumbles

    Grumbles Bamboozled Geek

    Please, Sorry or a Thank You don't cost anything. I sometimes wonder that in large cities that manners are rarely seen, but in smaller towns it is more common? IMO

  15. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    I guess people in large cities are pretty much preoccupied...look at how many walk about with earplugs and their ipods or mobiles (cellphones) stuck to their ear. Always rushing around.

    Whereas, I found that in smaller towns, it appears to be a slower pace and people seem to be more aware of those around them.:)
  16. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Sounds typical, doesn't it...people are often surprised of returned courtesies when not always practiced.:)
  17. Grumbles

    Grumbles Bamboozled Geek

    That pretty much sums up what I was trying to say :) Thanks Legal;)
  18. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Sadly a lack of simple courtesies has reached a stage here where it is now a requirement for seating on public transport to be offered to the elderly or parents with babies.

    Grumbles, it's obvious that many here at MG had good parenting that taught the basic qualities of politeness and simple courtesies...what a delight it is when encountered/displayed...personally, it really makes my day:)
  19. darlene1029

    darlene1029 A Grand Lady- R.I.P. 06/06/2012

    Thats funny, scary but funny. They probably don't tip in restaurants either.
  20. dyamond

    dyamond Imelda Marcos of Majorgeeks

    I really dislike people who dont tip at restaurants. I mean I do base my tip on the service I receive but I always leave a tip.
  21. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    Good to hear that you got the worst of the job over with more easily than expected, L.S. Good that not everyone has forgotten (or more to the point, never learnt), how to act and treat others.

    I just take, what most people see as being extraordinarily polite and generous as 'given', really. Politeness is pretty much automatic with me, and if I can help someone out for nothing, then I'm happy if their happy, as they say.

    Sometimes I get unexpected presents, too - which is nice. The sentiment behind it makes me feel somewhat gratified, that maybe I need reminding that most people don't bother 'going the extra mile', so to speak.

    Someone gave me an Apple iPod Shuffle the other day out of the blue, and I know this person hasn't got much money, so I was rather touched by that. Even though it's in ‘hot-pink’, lol. You can tell it was a 'girly' present, but I don't care, I still like it - if I ever get around to putting music on it, eh. (I don't think I'll be walking around with it connected to my noggin, though. I have enough trouble being alert at times as it is, lol.

    All basically boils down to treating others as you would like to be treated, and doing right because you know it is right, if that makes any sense. Different philosophy of life, I guess.
  22. darlene1029

    darlene1029 A Grand Lady- R.I.P. 06/06/2012

    I'm from a family of culinary people so tipping is important with me. My mother worked in coffee shops (small restaurants) and would dump out all the change from her pocket when she got home, no paper in those days, if she made 5 dollars in a day she was ecstatic. Think minimum wage was $1.00 an hour then.
  23. dyamond

    dyamond Imelda Marcos of Majorgeeks

    Its not much now darlene,I have a few friends who work at restaurant/coffee shops I think its around $3. I will leave a generous tip, if the service was worth it.

    I mean one time, my friends and I sat at a table for 30 minutes simply because our waitress didnt want to take our order, she was taking orders of and checkin the other tables around us, and we werent being loud, rude or obnoxious.. so I didnt really know what the problem was. After getting the manager, she eventually took our order and then it took like an additional 30-40 minutes for her to bring our food out, It took like an little more than an hr just to order and get our food! Needless to say she didnt receive a very good tip but we still left one, most people would not have. I just dont believe in rewarding someone for bad service.
  24. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    I believe catering services (such as waitering) is better paid here than in the United States, so there isn't such a reliance on tips.

    Tipping practice here varies depending on type of place. For example, not a regular practice in cafe/small restaurants, though if good service, then normally shown by tipping.

    However, tipping is pretty much expected in "up market" and "sophisticated" type places, then a tip can be anything between 5% to 20%+ on top of a bill, depending on service of course, because then tipping becomes a reflection of the level of satisfaction of service received.

    As you said Dyamond, I too "just don't believe in rewarding someone for bad service." In my view, it encourages future bad service practice.
  25. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    It is nice when unexpected gestures of appreciation are received, particularly when being polite and courteous is generally considered as being "a given" and an automatic part of one's character. (That ipod gift really was thoughtful too...had to smile at your comments.LOL)

    "Treating others as you would like to be treated" I reckon is probably unanimously agreed with here too.:)
  26. shanemail

    shanemail Fold On

    From the replies in this thread I guess it does depend on where you live.
    For a lot of us it is just second nature to be polite, don't even really have to think about it and don't expect people to say thankyou when you hold a door open for them; although most of them do and it is always nice.

    I quite often even have elderly ladies etc holding the door open for me :)

    As far as legalsuit and padams are concerned that is just good customer service (how it should be), but also well and truly above the 'call of duty'

    "deliverance territory" roflmao

    Minimum wage rates for Western Australia


    Seems like a more logical system to me, but I guess it all depends on what you are used to.

    Customer looks at the menu to find out what the total cost of their meal etc is.
    Customer pays employer
    Employer pays the government income tax and employee superannuation & wages
    Employee knows how much they will be earning every week.

    Don't listen to the Australian blonde girl on Lost, minimum wage in Australia is not $5.00 per hour rolleyes
  27. ItsWendy

    ItsWendy MajorGeek

    Yeah, the system in the states sucks. Servers don't even get minimum wage (which isn't a living wage to begin with), tips are expected to make up for the difference, to the point that the tax man in the US (IRS) expects you to have made it whether you did or not. On top of that, there is this little custom called tip share, where everyone is supposed to put their tips in a jar and it gets divied up.

    Like I said, pretty bad.
  28. darlene1029

    darlene1029 A Grand Lady- R.I.P. 06/06/2012

    Thats a good example of why tips should not be pooled. My girls and I had a waitress like that once, wouldn't seat us out on the patio, when the owner did she ignored us, focused more on the tables with men. I left her a penny. rolleyes
  29. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    I'm afraid I always expect a simple "Thank you.":eek: Guess it's a quirk with meLOL

    As far as padams and "my supervisor" are concerned...yes, that definitely was 'well and truly above the 'call of duty''...5 Star+ service imo.:) It also reflects on the employer, because a company is only as good as their employees.

    Thanks for producing that table on wages, excellent reference and clarification...it can vary per state and also some private enterprises can be above those rates. I guess that blonde on "Lost" must have been in La La Land when she made that statement.LOL
  30. darlene1029

    darlene1029 A Grand Lady- R.I.P. 06/06/2012

    It's taken to far here when someone who works behind a counter puts a tip jar by the register. I've seen that a lot, never contributed.
  31. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Same practice goes on here too...the jar ends up collecting mainly change or prods customer for a real tip.

    Another practice (which imo don't think is entirely fair on the individual deservedly earning a tip), is that all tips are pooled, then split amongst staff...it is a way for the employer to "boost" staff's pay.
  32. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Don't understand your system, particularly if "tips are expected to make up for the difference, to the point that the tax man in the US (IRS) expects you to have made it whether you did or not."...sounds totally unfair...Besides, those working in more "upmarket/sophisticated" venues are more likely to receive bigger tips, whereas others in "lesser type venues" would be struggling for reasonable tips. Is this taken into consideration by your IRS?

    Like Shanemail pointed out, the system we have down here seems logical (while providing a basic guideline towards a fair pay).
  33. darlene1029

    darlene1029 A Grand Lady- R.I.P. 06/06/2012

    Ok, put these together and you got the whole structure of the system, don't want to get started on that subject :(
  34. mustardcharlie

    mustardcharlie Private E-2

    But surely, "Chivalry" is a code of honour and respect. It was developed over a thousand years ago for "nobles". While your anecdote possibly conforms to these ideals, true "Chivalry" was espoused hundreds of years ago. If you go to this site http://www.astro.umd.edu/~marshall/chivalry.html for example, chivalry is set out clearly . Most women would not accept many of the principles involved and neither would most men. Even leaving aside the take on women, where do you stand on, "Thou shalt make war against the infidel without mercy"
  35. darlene1029

    darlene1029 A Grand Lady- R.I.P. 06/06/2012

    Let's find out , humm , yes :)
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2009
  36. Natakel

    Natakel Guest

    I just gotta share this story . . .

    One day, long ago now, when my two sons were but small lads, we were all at a local mall to do the weekly shopping. My (then) wife went into a store (Krogers, I think) while I planned to pop the hood on our aging vehicle - I wanted to determine why the motor was suddenly missing out while we were on route. The boys wanted to stay with me, so we went into a shop and I bought them both an ice cream sandwich (they had been good, and that was a favorite treat. Still is, I think :)). They sat on a bench outside near to me while I pondered the mechanics of my car. I kept checking on them while I fiddled and tugged on engine parts. I saw them jump up at one point and run over a few shops - I realised they had seen an elderly lady with a walker standing in front of a store - one that didn't have automatic doors - and she was struggling with the door. It took both of them, but they managed to pull it open for her. The best thing was she offered them some money, but they both declined to accept it.

    I was (and am) very proud of them.
  37. shanemail

    shanemail Fold On

    Very nice story Natakel

    Thanks for sharing :)
  38. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Another story of chivalry, this time about a man in a grey suit and a young mum with her two kids.

    Stuck at the lights in bottleneck traffic en route to a meeting, I noticed a young mum with a barely walking toddler in tow, while she was struggling trying to get a pram and baby up steps towards a walkway.

    Seeing her plight vexed me more while I watched men walk past her, ignoring her struggle. In frustration, I tooted my horn at a man passing by and politely asked if he could assist her. He turned in her direction, then looked back at me as if I had two heads and walked off. <Grrrrrrrrrr!>

    When traffic cleared enough to cross over, the car in front suddenly indicated to turn and drove into a nearby driveway. The driver, a young man in a grey suit hopped out, dashed towards the (by now) distraught young mum, handed the toddler to her, then picked up pram with baby to head up the stairs.

    At last, another chivalrous gentleman! I was deeeeelighted to say the least. :celebrate

    Only downside to this story, is that my pent up frustration for that young mum was vented out on a meeting attendee, (well known for his rude, arrogant and insulting nature). I was pretty much like “the cat amongst the pidgeons”, and had to check my mouth for any obvious feathers at the end of that meeting.:yum:D
  39. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Now that we've got that clarified for contemporary times....
  40. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Oh Natakel...that really touched me...who couldn't feel proud of those two chivalrous young gentlemen.

    Thanks for sharing.:)
  41. shanemail

    shanemail Fold On

    Unfortunately things are not that simple in this day and age. You would have got a much stronger reaction from me than you did from him.

    A man who is willing to grab someone elses toddler and then a pram containing an infant is foolhardy to say the least.

    If I were to do such a thing I would have as much chance of being beat-up, locked-up or sued as I would have of being thanked.

    Unfortunate but true
  42. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Guess because I omitted to add that there was a short discourse between that young man and the mum, you misinterpreted what occurred...from what I could see, it obviously was done with appreciated approval by that young mum. Also, the toddler was handed to her, before he picked up the pram with baby (check my earlier post).

    But your point is well taken if as you put it were just to "grab someone elses toddler....":)
  43. shanemail

    shanemail Fold On

    Like I said it is unfortunate, but of course it can be done.

    If I were to do it myself, I would have to walk around until I was about 10 metres (30 foot) in front of her, make eye contact, smile and then say something along the lines of:

    'Hello, you appear to be having some difficulty, would you like me to carry your pram up the stairs for you.'

    Walking up beside her and saying 'Need a hand luv ?' may or may not have the same effect

    Chances are she would be agreeable, but it is of course in a mothers nature and is her right to be protective of her children.

    I would imagine it would be easier and less confronting for a passing female to offer assistance than it would be for a man in such a situation
  44. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Never thought about the difference between a male or female offering help. Interesting point.

    From personal experience of what I have seen of such quick encounters, regardless the type of helpful approach and whether by a male or female, assistance offered has been gratefully accepted, particularly instances of mothers with children. Seen this on the street, beaches, shopping malls, etc. Never noticed any difference in attitudes from recipients when assistance offered by either a male or female regardless of the type of approach.

    Like I said, the discourse was short (eg as if said: "May I help?")...couldn't hear what was said, but it was quick and just as quickly approved.

    All the same, I thought it was a lovely gesture by that man in a grey suit.:)
  45. Phantom

    Phantom Brigadier Britches

    Along a quasi-note of the whole gender thing. You don't have to be a woman or elderly for people to do what I would term a 'noble gesture', either.

    Years back, when we first came over here, I had a pretty old Ford Cortina, because that was about all I could afford for a while. The gas gauge didn't work too well, and occasionally it would stick, and I would get caught out of gas. So happens, we're travelling down the highway near to turn-off to our joint, and I hear the car spluttering, and I knew what was going to happen. So, not wanting to get rear ended, I pulled off onto the median strip, which was pretty sandy, to get the spare gas out of the trunk. Well, it was sandier than I thought, and I ended up bogged good and proper.

    But not for long. Within two minutes one guy stopped to see if I needed help. I said I was okay, I'll just do a bit of pushing. Within seconds, another guy in a Land Rover stops - it was a stinking hot summer's day, and about 42 deg. C. Next thing I know, he's grabbed a hand shovel from the back of his Land Rover, and on his belly, face down in the black sand and digging like crazy. Gets us out in a jiffy, and I thanked him, and he's on his way. Didn't know him from a bar of soap (which he needed by the time he did his good deed, LoL).

    So yes, there are good people about, even if they are a little harder to come by nowadays.
  46. BILLMCC66

    BILLMCC66 Bionic Belgian

    As a rider to Phantoms post when i was a kid (about 10) i remember my father stopping on the side of the highway to help a guy who was having trouble together they worked on the car for about an hour and got it going, the guy was really grateful and i wonder how many would stop to help these day they don't have the time or inclination.

  47. dyamond

    dyamond Imelda Marcos of Majorgeeks

    Such nice stories! Natakel, Phantom, Bill.

    One day my friend was over my house and as we left to go somewhere (I forget where) we noticed her tire was flat. Well neither of us knew how to change a flat tire I called one of my friends and told him of our dilemma. Although he was busy, he stopped what he was doing to come and help us. As we were waiting a neighbor came out and asked if we needed help changing the tire! We thanked him alot but stated we had a friend on the way. It was a pretty cold day, so we sat in her car until my friend arrived and the entire time we waited my neighbor kept checking on us, he finally stopped once my friend arrived but it was very nice of him to do so. As we stood outside with my friend watching him change the tire, he said its “really cold, why don’t you sit in my car until Im done?” We gratefully accepted. When he was finished we thanked him about 1000 times but he acted like he didn’t do us some big favor (which he did!!). To thank him I bought him a gift card to starbucks (he loves that place). He said he didn’t don’t anything deserving a gift but I mean he stopped what he was doing to stand out in the cold and change our tire, I don’t know about you but I thought that was deserving of a gift! I finally forced him to take itLOL
  48. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    Your friend certainly did go out of his way. The consideration shown by your neighbour and your friend to ensure you kept warm really was thoughtful. I reckon that was a "deserving gift" too, which I'm sure he really enjoyed.:)
  49. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    That guy sounds like a "highway Angel"! Bet that really made you feel welcome given you had only just arrived Down Under.:)
  50. legalsuit

    legalsuit Legal Eagle

    I'm tempted to say that generally people will stop to help...though I'm not sure they would go to the lengths you dad did. That's sounds exceptional imo!

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