compulsary parent training

Kids are becoming more and more disrespectful of adults,they dont have the basic value system we had as children,they insult adults and teachers because parents havnt instilled morals or virtues by explaining the consequences of their actions

My mum has said to me many times you need a licence to own car but you dont need a license to own a child,maybe a few hours a week teaching mothers and fathers the psychology of discipline and raising children without being abusive or neglectful would be a good thing?

 

I was driving through the centre of the village I saw a load of kids screwing around breaking stuff,I said the other day to my mum\mom they're bored and have nothing to do,she said you were also bored at that age but we didnt let you out at this time of night,you still found things to do

 

Look at the job your government is doing with the duties it already assumes. Do you think they will do better at parenting? It's the standard I use.

 

Children grow up exhibiting the morals and values instilled in them (or not) by their parents. If the parents abrogate that responsibility, they have NO ONE to blame for little johnny getting knocked off by the police/gang, etc., except themselves. /rant

 

Not sure if this is on-topic or not, but it drives me nuts when you hear the parents knee jerk reaction when being told what their little horror has just done...

"My little Jimmy wouldn't do that! He's a good boy. How dare you?!"

I think it sounds like a good plan Rikky, but half the time in the UK the parents aren't much more than kids themselves. Wasn't it last week that some 11 year old was the youngest girl in the UK to be pregnant. And her mum was proud of her?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/4764417.stm

 

Children, in most, but not all cases, do reflect the opinions, attitudes and ethical framework of their environment, which in the main, is their parents.

Trouble is, nowadays, children, and people in general are not taught any firm family/social framework or skills. Where money and materialism is taught as the goals in life and the only morality is survival, then we will be raising generations of socially inept and morally corrupt persons. Sadly, this has been the trend in the last three or four decades.

Having and raising children, despite being the most important event in any family group or society, is still a very hap-hazard affair, with no real guidelines as to whom or how offspring are to be raised. This is good from a personal freedom point of view, but leaves children, and consequently, the kind of society we are shaping, a very random happening.

A lot of our social value systems do indeed reflect the individual's respect and confidence in authorities, primarily the government and the law. We have gone from an almost blind faith in our government and authorities in the forties and fifties, to a near universal mistrust and lack of respect for them in recent decades. This filters down to parents that do not respect or accept the law or authorities, and as a consequence, many children will have the same attitudes. The cycle goes on.

As said, more interactive quality time with our children, and a stimulating environment goes a long way to raising a well-balanced and productive member of society.

 

I agree with Gensu to a degree and I also agree that there should be parenting classes however there are so many variables that there is no clear cut solution.

I married and had children at a young age. My marriage also dissolved before my youngest turn 1. I was scared to death to be raising 2 children on my own...their father had no interest in them whatsoever. I took parenting classes that were offered for free and there were others in my class who were there because they had no choice but to take the classes if you get my drift.

I could go on and on about my experiences and observations giving specific examples but I won't because I can pretty much sum it up.

You can have all the parenting classes in the world..volunteer or mandatory and it won't do a damn bit of good if the parent doesn't genuinely want to strive toward being a better, more involved parent AND be willing to actively work toward doing just that.

Even without parenting classes you can have loving, attentive, involved parents who work every day to set a good example and instill things like common courtesy, manners, morals and values in their children and when that child walks out the door something deep within them yearns more to be a part of certain crowd...peer pressure if you will. So when mom and dad aren't around they are a totally different person. Is it a personality flaw? Is there a medical reason like a chemical imbalance in the brain? Who knows..but it does happen..and far more often than I think any of us care to admit.

There is no easy answer...I wish there was.

 

ok. so this is only my personal opinion. i think the whole reason its all going to hell in a handbasket is TOO MUCH 'paranting classes'. all this BS that you cant wack em, cant even shout at them, 'time out' whatever that is, put em on ritilin, and surround them with violence and greed. our parents used to chuck us out doors for hours on end, with a few jam sarnies for lunch, and we would not DARE to bring shame to our doorsteps. i am not suggesting the return of the belt, but i am not above clouting my kids, and they are super aware of the limits of my patience. too many households have no parenting, where both parents work, or single parents struggle. schools no longer share the discipline and limit setting, and our children now think we are failiers if we dont read to them every day and provide them with every sort of technology. i am sick of the adverts telling me what i should and should not be doing. its brainwashing. (PS my kids are wonderfull. i could not be more proud of them!!)

 

Where do they have parenting classes like that? While I have heard of trying alternative methods of punishment what you describe is nothing like the classes I went to...not even close.

 

YA! Abby There is no easy answer. I raised three in the 70's & 80's.From first marrage.and all three are very respectful today .But they had to be when growing up and it stayed with them.About 9 years ago I met my wife (of today) she had a son when we met ,He's 13 now and it's alot different riseing kids today.I M H O Like Abby said if you get involved and know who and were your child is with , you'll have a better chance at the out come. I believe that parents today are to busy today to spend time with ther kid's. That's NOT good. Most of the reson a child does the things they do is because they were OR were not tought that way.

There is no real answer eather

 

i never went to a class so it was more a generalization regarding all those bl**dy adverts. as far as ritilin goes, aparently almost half of the kids in the us are classified as add. by greed and violence, i didnt just mean society at large, but also the cr*p they watch and play.

 

Well, both my wife and I have done several different versions of parenting courses when our first born was very young, and they taught things like 'limit testing' in children, 'trigger factors' for anger and emotional upsets, positive reinforcement being a lot stronger motivation than negative, and so on. Some it was similar to some of the units in Psychiatric Nursing, but more parent/child orientated.

Also, a lot of general stuff, like folding the rectangle and 'kite' shape for diapers, infant formula, nutrition etc. I would term them (the courses) as useful, but by no means cover everything. But then, they're not supposed to.

We did the courses together, because we wanted to, and was had some handy insights, especially for my wife, who'd only done general nursing. Being young parents, we wanted to make sure there we knew as much as possible about it.

My opinion is that Parenting Courses shouldn't be compulsory, but having free, government accredited courses available would be money well spent. Not every one has Moms or elder sisters to learn from - we didn't. Not that we were ignorant by any means, but it's always good to pick up a few things and hear other parents p.o.v.

No matter how busy we were in those days, we always made sure that our children had plenty of interaction and quality time with us, and were careful to be a positive role model. Something which both of them will carry with them for life. Yep, I had a child with A.D.H.D. and a disabled wife to contend with, as well as career etc, etc. Got through it all okay, somehow.

Not to mention Grandparents, if you’re lucky enough to have them are a big bonus.

Guess we were brought up in a fairly traditional and conservative background, which isn't perfect, but beats whatever comes second.

 

Although I agree somewhat with most of the sentiments here, and I haven't had kids because I don't think I'd be a good enough parent, the "old days" weren't that good or respectful.

Look what was done to blacks and the lack of women's rights?


Every generation has it's issues and problems.

 

Who would set the standards?

More importantly, how would it be enforced?

 

I'll preface this by saying I've never been blessed with children, so my comments are based mostly on observation and some interaction with former girlfriends' children.

I think parenting is becoming a lost art. As time advances, more options are available to serve as distractions to young children that go a long way to mold someone during some of the most critical years of their growing. Television, movies, music, et. al all serve as strong influences, and in my opinion, in a mostly negative manner. Kids are lazier and fatter than ever, making the task of raising a child even tougher. Most schools seem to just go through the motions, an extreme unfair thing to the child. Most families feature two working parents, severely limiting "quality time" with the kids. And this generation currently raising children is certainly not the poster child for the task. Many parents these days seem to be inconvenienced by the obligation of having to raise their children. A "busy" parent simply cannot plunk a kid down in front of an X-Box and expect him to end up anywhere other than the drive-thru window at McDonald's.

I don't believe much in the way of classes will improve things, in part due to the fact that an adult's attention span in a classroom environment is not anything to shout about, especially if they feel they are there due to perceived failure. I think the single biggest thing in the upbringing of the child is the parenting, and the level of commitment a parent puts into it. I also don't believe discipline is much of a deterrent, kids will almost always return the favor. In fairness to kids today, I cannot imagine the peer pressure they face; all I worried about when I was young was getting rid of pimples.

With the divorce rate being what it is, two-parenting families are becoming rarer, thus stacking the odds against the child. My father died when I was five, my grandparents did most of the raising of myself and my sister while my mom worked. The end result couldn't be more stark: I've missed 4 days of work in 13 years, my sister hasn't worked 4 days in 13 years. She's a crack addict with whom I've had no contact with in almost 7 years. I cannot explain why she went the route she did. I know she got the same attention and level of love and caring from the family as I did; I think it was mainly due to whom she chose to hang out with. Most of them are either dead or in jail.

There is no tougher or more high-pressure task than raising a child. Nothing is more important to be responsible for or in charge of than a human life. Failure, in most cases, cannot be reversed.

 

I wish there'd been a 3rd poll choice. NON mandatory parent training. Available for any who want it.

Whether mandatory or voluntary, if the parents aren't motivated, and don't have any values themselves, they won't do a good job of raising children. It's a tough job that tries one's patience, and many supposed adults simply don't care enough to invest the time and energy. Many of them have no morals or ethics of their own, and CAN'T pass those on their kids Mandatory classes won't change that.

As Star noted, some kids choose a bad path even with good parenting, but the odds are much better if the parents care, act as good role models, and protect the kids as much as possible from what is not appropriate for their ages. And a LOT of what's readily available today is NOT appropriate for kids, particularly young kids. Including other young kids that are darn close to feral. I don't envy parents today. They DO have a bigger challenge than earlier generations. But mandatory classes won't solve most of the problems.

 

Britney Spears comes to mind here...that poor kid is gonna be lucky to make it to 5.

 

The kid isn't gonna be that poor.