Computer Humor: Sayings, Pics, Jokes, etc.

Maxims for Our Internet Age​

Home is where you hang your @.
The Mail of the species is more deadly than the Email.
A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
You can't teach an old mouse new clicks.
Great groups from little icons grow.
Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.
C:\ is the root of all directories.
Don't put all your hypens in one home page.
Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
The modem is the message.
Too many clicks spoil the browse.
A chat has nine lies.
Don't byte off more than you can view.
Fax is stranger than fiction.
What boots up must come down.
Will Windows ever cease?
Virtual reality is its own reward.
Modulation in all things.
A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
There's no place like:home.com.
Know what to expect before you connect.
Don't IM us... We'll IM you!

Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to reformat C:

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use
the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.​

Good Luck!

 

If only life could be as easy as using computer!​

If you messed up your life, you could press "Alt, Ctrl, and Delete" and start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on Start => "Run!"
If you needed a break from life, click on "Suspend."
Hit "Any Key" to continue life when ready.
To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
Click settings and control panel and then "Add/Remove" someone in your life.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you lose your car keys, click on "find."
"Help" with the chores would be just a click away.
You wouldn't need auto insurance. You'd use your boot diskette to recover from a crash.
We could click on "Send" and the kids would go to bed immediately.
To feel like a new person, click on "F5 to refresh."
Click on "close" to shut up your spouse's in-laws.
To undo a mistake in life, simply click the "Back" button.
Is your wardrobe getting old? Click "Update." ​

Good Luck!

 

Is it sad that I want to be able to do all of those?