Does history repeat itself??

Another thread I posted on this morning inspired this one, because I didn't want to hijack the other.

Some of y'all may agree or disagree with my philosophy.

I am one that believes that a majority of todays kids are out of control due to a lack of ANY discipline...whether it be a spank on the butt or a good strong grounding that really makes them think...not a smack on the hand getting locked in your room with an XBox, computer, cell phone, TV, and whatever else you might be spoiled with. When I was in school you behaved cause if not then you got the paddle...and then again when you got home. You didn't get out of line (for the most part) cause you actually FEARED getting in trouble!! And we didn't get "rewarded" for not getting in trouble. Don't get me wrong...I don't agree with obsessive beatings by any means (had those myself due to dads drinking in combo with the pain meds from his back surgery) but now that I am older I can definitely see where the discipline I received from my parents molded me for the better to be what I am today. I feel I have strong work ethics, I respect other peoples feelings, and don't physically or mentally abuse anybody, whether it be my wife, daughter, or neighbor, I don't even think about stealing a pack of gum from the store, and I take pride in my accomplishments, and I don't expect anybody to bail me out just cause I don't feel like doing it myself!!

Now I look at these kids today (not all, but a lot of them), especially after being a school bus driver, and they wouldn't know discipline or getting in trouble if it bit them in the butt!! It is more the parents fault than the child/kid, however it is hard to not despise the child for his actions!!

Don't get me wrong...I'm not saying constructive discipline doesn't work...BUT...there are times when they need to know "the buck stops here!!" And every child requires their own unique methods. However, I don't need somebody else telling me how to parent my child...unless ofcourse I ask. I agree there are some out there that do need help but don't be breathing down MY neck!! I speak generally of course.

I blame this all on the anti-butt spanking advocacy groups that are the same ones that stand around in awe and say "well...I just can't understand what has happened to todays children!?!?!" And the lazy parents that just don't want to put forth the energy to be consistant with the child.

So now that I am done with my rant, I guess I'll ask the question that I started this thread for. :-D

They say history repeats itself...I've seen bell bottoms come and go twice in my lifetime...what about the way children are raised!?!?!

I am not trying to start a fire here, but just curious of your thoughts and figured the diversity around here...this would make a good place to inquire about this.

Roger

 

I totally agree, Rog.
A normal spanking is NOT child abuse. They don't have to be a horse-whipping to shock a kid back into sensibility.
I was scared into not doing things I knew were wrong. That did not mentally scar me.
I knew that if I did do wrong, there would be consequences to face. A very good lesson I carried into my adult life.
I still caused some trouble, but I certainly didn't back talk my parents.
I may not have always agreed they were right, but they were my parents and I pretty much obeyed their rules and respected their decisions.

 

I am at a loss to give an answer to how do we instill discipline in the kids today?

I had a strict upbringing (my dad was Sergeant major) and my older brother was a Marine, i would not say it was brutal but i knew where the boundaries were.

At 18 i also joined the Marines (boy was that a shock) i thought i knew what discipline was until then and after many years service and a substantial rank i left the corp feeling that i had become a better man.
I always tried to be fair with my daughter but she knew how far she could push, she went to university and became a Doctor which made me think i did OK.

It is hoped that the Anti spanking liberals wake up before it's too late.

 

Personally I seen a big change when the economy came to the point where it took two salaries in order to make it. Kids were not as supervised as well as having a parent home all the time.
I also believe drugs played a part where people who do them (which is many) don't want to bothered. Here's 10 bucks or go find something to do, we have company or I'm tired.
Children are not taught manors or respect and it drives me crazy

A PS as Bill did I think all kids should have training, maybe not military but the regimen and orderly manner of it and respect for other people. Wouldn't hurt young females to learn grace also.

 

WOW...I gotta admit...I sure thought this would generate a hellofalot more conversation than three replies!!!!!!!!!! :confused

Oh well

 

It's the middle of the week. Some of us don't come on during the day. I don't usually, but today is a special occasion.

Why? Because children are much smarter than credit is often given for. A lot of them are told that if someone touches you in a bad way, you should report it. Well guess what, on the recieving end is generally a bad way. And the smarter ones know that they can report it.

And no one can do it in public with dozens of people calling the police to report abuse. The same with people living in sardine can cities. When the neighbors can and do hear speaking level casual conversations, they assume anything more is abuse.

As a point of fact I'm against neighbors in general. But none of this is what's wrong with the world. What's wrong is that no one wants to get to know anyone else until they think they can get that person in trouble or are helping them. It's a very big city mentality. There isn't a community atmosphere, it's just a bunch of people living together. And it doesn't do anyone any good. Big cities breed problems.

 

This is a perfect example of PC gone crazy.
How in gods name can this happen to a FATHER????

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/56759/Locked-up-father-who-slapped-his-daughter-

 

First time I have seen this post. Nothing wrong with a bit of discipline. My thing was to have the offender sit on the floor in the passage and look at this picture hanging there of two Zebras fighting this normally did the trick. If that did not work I would slap the floor with a belt the treat and or noise worked wonders. I very seldom had to revert to a slap. Normally the word Zebra was did it. I am very happy and proud how my five grew up. My daughter tried the Zebra thing with her son while ago on a visit once, it must have been engraved in her memory didn’t work to well on him, but not getting any ice cream when the rest of his sibling did worked like a dream.

 

Wow! I don't even know what to say. I feel so bad for the father, frustrated that the daughter couldn't grasp the consequences of calling the police on her father (having never been hit by him before, she should have given him his due respect rather than cry abuse), and I feel utterly downtrodden with the police and the system. Can't the officers think for themselves anymore? Couldn't they see that the girl was never in any danger? Ugg!

Raising children is tricky business! Especially under current laws. Personally, I feel hugs and good solid hart to harts can go a long way in developing respect from children. However, when children cross certain boundaries (like disrespect to elders, or unlawful behavior) there must be a swift, hard, and consistent punishment.

I'm still raising my kids, so only time will tell if my husband and I have done well. So far so good. We often hear from other parents and teachers how pleasant and well behaved they are so maybe that's a good sign.

Darlene 1029 mentioned earlier about the current need for two incomes. I also believe this is a major player in the behavior of today's kids. No one wants daycare workers spanking kids, and the limited time that parents have with their kids often leads to spoiling in an effort to make up for lost time rather than discipline. The high divorce rate contributes to spoiling kids as well.

I can only hope that along with the revival of various fashion trends, we (as a society) might one day get around to reviving good old common sense, parental rights, and a respect for core values.

 

While I agree that the whole "two income" thing doesn't necessarily help matters, however...my parents and my cousins parents, and all my good friends parents were all double income familys and we all turned out to be pretty good members of society. So I guess what I'm saying is parenting is hard work, as I'm learning from experience for 21 months now, and some of these lazy parents need to get off the couch and interact with their children...not buy them a new game every time they go to Target.

I know there are those that are truly trying and just having trouble, but I'm talking about the ones that...

A) need to worry about their own children...not how I raise mine.
B) have children by "accident" and have no desire of effective parenting.

 

I had 4, 2 of them would respond to simply telling them I was disappointed in the way they acted while the other 2 would could care less about my opinion.
Led me to believe some are born with a will of their own.
Raising a teen is a true test to ones ability to keep a cool head.
None of mine were very bad, hurtful to others or out right defiant to me. I was a firm believer that they understood from infancy . Too many people I have seen contend, "they don't know any better, they're too young " rolleyes they know
I hardly spanked mine, I didn't have to, I stayed on top of them. At times I felt bad thinking all I ever said was - no, stop, the ever favorite go to your room.
One of my daughters now is always saying she is getting paid back for what she put me through. I tell her it's what every parent goes through. I hate it when people say, "I hope your kids put you through what you have done to me" That's just ignorant. Boo Hoo