Funny Story

I heard a funny story on the radio yesterday on the way to work.
This guy's friend noticed a couple men in his shed and asked if he had people staying there. He said "NO". These guys were stealing his tools and everything else out of his shed so he called the Cops. The police dept (hick Town) said they did not have anyone in the area right now but would come by as soon as someone was in the area to file a report. So He hung up the phone for a minute and called them back and let them know that He had shot the robbers dead and they would not have to come out. 10 minutes later police surrounded the guys house and captured the robbers. The policeman then exclaimed "I thought you said you shot them! In which he replied "I thought you said you did not have anyone in the area!?


(I apologize to all police or robbers or people that live in hick towns ahead of time, I love you all and hope I did not offend you.)

 

I dont get it... lol... mayb its just too late for me to think properly

 

LOL! Good one Marty. I've heard that one before, but it's good to hear again.

 

One for you, Marty.


A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here, and you should do it because that is your job; and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it and, besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........

"HEBREWS"

 

That's just wrong!

 

Why, can't you make a decent pot of coffee?

 

Okay, you win! I'll make the coffee!

BTW, do you play chess, GT?

 

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not tell my wife this, we are always trying to get the other one to make the morning coffee.

 

I've played it, but it's been years, and never had enough people to play with to get good at it. To play it decently requires a fair amount of time & study.

 

Everytime we come over, she makes the coffee....I don't think you know how to make coffee, Marty! In fact, I don't think you even drink coffee, I think you drink fruity herbal teas!

 

Man, that really hurt. (tear drop)

 

There there, little camper, don't cry, I'll make you a cup of SleepyTime and tuck you in!

 

THAT IS SUCH A JESSE JOKE!!!! I'M GOING TO TELL HER!!!!!

 

A Mother's Dictionary
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.

Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.

Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.

Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.

Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything.

Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.

Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

Two-minute warning: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: Able to whine in words

Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.

Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge."